London Has Fallen photo
London Has Fallen

First London Has Fallen teaser brings everything down


London, london, londy they go down like
Jul 02
// Nick Valdez
Although the two came out at the same time purely by coincidence, I couldn't help but prefer White House Down over Olympus Has Fallen. While Fallen gets more of the positive comments thanks to its break neck action, I liked t...
BvS HAIR photo
BvS HAIR

New batch of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice images have hair


LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR
Jul 02
// Nick Valdez
While we've seen hi-gloss production images of the Batmobile and Baldy McBaldbald's and the like, we've never got a good look at the actual film beyond that first limp teaser. But with this new batch of character images of En...
Creed Trailer photo
Gonna fly now, gonna fly forever
Everyone's got that one film franchise that means more to them than anything. Some have Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park, and there's probably a few folks that really want more of Pixar's Cars. But me, I've got...


DBZ Trailer  photo
DBZ Trailer

Goku has blue hair in newest Dragonball Z: Resurrection of F Trailer


Super Saiyan God Super Patti Mayonnaise
Jun 29
// Nick Valdez
With a new Dragonball TV series taking up after the events of this film, I'm pretty pumped for Dragonball Z: Resurrection of F. The sequel to last year's Battle of Gods where Goku achieves the "Super Saiyan God" form that com...
Transylvania 2 Trailer photo
Transylvania 2 Trailer

First full trailer for Hotel Transylvania 2


Jun 19
// Nick Valdez
Although Genndy Tartokovsky leaving his passion project Popeye still stings, at least we'll see his work in Hotel Transylvania 2. Although the first film wasn't too big a deal, it's still a lot better than anything Sony Anima...
Ku Fu Panda Trailer photo
Ku Fu Panda Trailer

First trailer for Kung Fu Panda 3 brings the thunder


SO CUTE GIVE ME ALL THE PANDAS
Jun 19
// Nick Valdez
I've got quite a fondness for the Kung Fu Panda series. It's a competent cartoon that's as funny as it is endearing. It's also got some really good classic kung fu sensibility, and since that's so rare these days, it's nice t...
Denny's Fant4stic Menu photo
It's sloberrin' time
If you're new to the site, there's one thing you should really know about us. We like terrible ideas. Although we'll rip a bad film apart in a review, we all secretly love what they do for cinema. Namely, we get weird ideas l...

5 dinosaur movies you should watch instead of Jurassic World

Jun 12 // Nick Valdez
We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story Ah, We're Back. Truth be told, I had no idea this films existed for a long time. My only run in with it was seeing the awesome looking poster art on the cover of its VHS. It was a little bit after that where I finally watched it and I wasn't disappointed. So I'm guessing the same will happen for you. Instead of watching terrifying super monsters chase a bunch of dumb people around a park for the fourth time in a row, watch some dinos hang out in the Natural History museum.  Besides it was produced under Steven Spielberg's Amblimation line and stars John Goodman, so you know that's a good sign. Clearly it's better than Jurassic World.  The Land Before Time Ugh, this movie is so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Why would I recommend thiiiiiis? At the very least, I can argue that a young group of dinos that want to find their families will make you cry because it's well written and not because it's badly animated like Jurassic World. In fact, just cry this weekend and cut out the middle man.  Theodore Rex Remember this? Whoopi Goldberg wishes you didn't. Why not rub this terrible decision in her face while you pretend she's actually stuck in that one manga, Gantz. Or you can just keep crying since you're so alone and would rather write about a movie than go see one yourself. it's not like you have friends to go with you anyway.  Dinosaurs I remember when I had a family once. I used to watch movies with them all the time. I actually saw the first Jurassic Park with my dad. He didn't like it much, so it pretty much changed how I felt about it too. But you know what I had a good time with? ABC's Dinosaurs. If I remember correctly, it was part of the early TGIF block and had a lot of good puppet work. But they always get to be a happy family by episode's end. That's more than I ever got. God, I'm so lonely. My family. Where have you gone? I miss you so much.  Jurassic Park But the best choice is to deny the future and head back into the past. I was much happier back then. With my family, with my loving home, with my friends. Maybe if I watch Jurassic Park instead of Jurassic World, the future will never happen? I can trap time within this little capsule and repeat it for as long as I want! Everything new is old and everything old is new again!  Birth, life, death, rebirth, relife, redeath, rerebirth, rerelife, reredeath, rererebirth, rererelife, rereredeath, rerererebirth, rerererelife, rerereredeath, rererererebirth, rererererelife, rererereredeath Those are my suggestions for five things you can watch that aren't Jurassic World! Are you going to see it? 
Dinosaurs  photo
More than the world
While Jurassic World takes the *ahem* world by storm, I never really connected with the idea. I don't have as big of a connection with Jurassic Park as a lot of folks do, but at the same time, I love me some dinosaurs. Good t...

Ant-Man posters photo
Ant-Man posters

These Ant-Man posters are the best Ant-Man thing yet


Like Avengers? Then you'll blegggggggggg
Jun 12
// Nick Valdez
While Marvel's next film Ant-Man won't have The Avengers, Marvel doesn't want you to forget they exist in the same universe in case you somehow blacked out during the last five years of mass advertising. Either way, Ant-Man's...
Zootopia Teaser photo
Zootopia Teaser

First teaser trailer for Disney's Zootopia


"Be-fur"? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jun 12
// Nick Valdez
While I still miss Disney's 2D animated style since Winnie the Pooh was great but not a film to end the legacy on, Disney's been hitting it out of the park with their CG efforts. They've found quite a groove with Wreck-It Ral...
Netflix Now photo
Netflix Now

Netflix Now: Limonada Edition


Netflix Instant additions for the week!
Jun 11
// Nick Valdez
Earlier this week, as police officers have a harder time in the news, police shut down two little girls' lemonade stand. The two little girls were trying to make some money to go to a water park in Texas, and they were shut d...
Box Office Numbers photo
Box Office Numbers

Box Office Numbers: Spy vs. Spy


Jun 08
// Nick Valdez
Another week gone, another week of box office numbers. Unsurprisingly, the Melissa McCarthy movie Spy (which apparently isn't as bad as her recent string of bad choices) took the top spot with $30 million, San Andreas is stil...
The Martian Trailer photo
There was supposed to be a kaboom.
Although Ridley Scott has had a few misses lately, his adaptation of Andy Weir's The Martian might shape up to be quite a film. It's got a great cast with Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kristen Wiig, Kate Mar...

The Good Dinosaur Trailer photo
Looks good?
The Good Dinosaur has had a troubling development for the last few years. Hit with delays, losing a director, and a major reworking, the film we have now no longer resembles the original idea. It's hard to tell how much of th...

Box Office Numbers photo
Box Office Numbers

Box Office Numbers: Rocky Road


Jun 01
// Nick Valdez
Dwayne Johnson just can't catch a break, can he? At this point I'm not sure who is to blame. Is Johnson just not that great of an actor or does he just attach himself to terrible projects? After starring in two terrible solo ...
Tron 3 photo
Tron 3

Disney no longer making Tron 3


More like Tron Dead-acy
Jun 01
// Nick Valdez
Although Tron Legacy performed well on home video and seemed to strike a chord with fans, it just didn't become the grand reboot Disney wanted it to be. Stories of Tron 3's possible existence have been floating around since t...
Netflix Now photo
Netflix Now

Netflix Now: #ThanksObama Edition


Netflix Instant additions for the week!
May 21
// Nick Valdez
Well, the POTUS with the MOSTUS has joined Twitter. There's some kind of gag in here somewhere, but this all seems way too surreal to be funny. In the few hours he's been on Twitter, he's already taken a jab at Bill Clinton, ...
Cooties Trailer photo
Cooties Trailer

First trailer for Cooties starring Elijah Wood and zombie fourth graders


Circle, circle, dot, dot...
May 21
// Nick Valdez
I don't think I've ever talked about how much I love Elijah Wood's career. He's willing to take chances on the weirdest, and most far out projects. He doesn't always succeed, but he seems like the type of actor that's game fo...
Transformers photo
Transformers

Transformers sequels have found their writers, including Robert Kirkman


More than writes the eye
May 21
// Nick Valdez
Remember that weird sounding "writers room" Paramount was trying to set up for Transformers sequels and spin-offs Jackson wrote about some time ago? To make the whole thing weirder, we now know who's a part of it. Seemingly f...
Pan Trailer photo
Pan Trailer

Newest Pan trailer looks gorgeous


May 19
// Nick Valdez
I'm not sure what to think about yet another reboot/prequel/whatever the hell this is, but Pan looks amazing. It's directed by Joe Wright, it's got a great cast with Hugh Jackman, Rooney Mara, and Garrett Hedlund, and I don't...
Pixels Trailer photo
Pixels Trailer

Newest trailer for Pixels is gamey


Sort of like how deer meat tastes
May 19
// Nick Valdez
I have a hard time figuring out exactly who Pixels is made for. Is it for the man children that Adam Sandler has spent his entire career trying to sell to, or is it for folks who'd recognize videogames in general? In the same...
Scorch Trials  photo
Scorch Trials

First official trailer for Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials


Smokin'
May 19
// Nick Valdez
Although I don't remember liking The Maze Runner too much, I did appreciate what it did differently from all of the other Young Adult book films floating around. A testosterone riddled film full of run and gun dumb action. It...
Box Office Numbers photo
Box Office Numbers

Box Office Numbers: Pitchy, dawg


"It's a little pitchy, dawg."
May 18
// Nick Valdez
Like most folks last weekend, I was torn between seeing Mad Max and Pitch Perfect 2. With only enough time and money allowing only one of the two, I chose Fury Road because my roommates have done the same. I was originally go...

First outrageous trailer for Jem and the Holograms

May 13 // Nick Valdez
[embed]219441:42380:0[/embed]
Jem Movie Trailer photo
Bit less outrageous than I'd hoped
I've made it no secret that I've been looking forward to Jem and Holograms ever since it was announced (and put in production just a month later), and after the awesome set of images we got the other day. I was really hoping ...

Jem Movie photo
Jem Movie

These Jem and Holograms movie images are outrageous


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS QUEEN
May 11
// Nick Valdez
Ever since Jon M. Chu (G.I. Joe: Retaliation) announced he was working on a live action Jem and the Holograms movie, I've been glued to the computer screen waiting for more info. Luckily we got a new batch of images plus a re...
Box Office Numbers photo
Box Office Numbers

Box Office Numbers: Avenge Me!


"I like revenging"
May 11
// Nick Valdez
Hey, I finally saw a movie in theaters! Meaning I helped Age of Ultron make even more money as it topped the box office for a second week with $77 million. It'll be interesting how this weekend turns out since we have two big...
Netflix Now photo
Netflix Now

Netflix Now: The King Has Returned Edition


Netflix Instant additions for 5/15
May 07
// Nick Valdez
Wow, so it's been three months since I last wrote one of these. Big apologies for that since lots of life stuff came up at once. I actually moved cross country (from San Antonio, TX to Astoria, NY) and it has taken me awhile ...
Civil War cast photo
Civil War cast

Captain America: Civil War reveals its huge cast


Hugh Jazz cast
May 07
// Nick Valdez
If you thought Avengers: Age of Ultron had a huge amount of characters, then Civil War is going to blow your mind. With the hugest cast of any Marvel movie so far, we've got newcomers, returning characters, newly revealed cha...
AHNULD photo
AHNULD

Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger recreate most of his films in under 6 minutes


"I'll be back."
May 06
// Nick Valdez
Has anyone been watching the Late Late Show with James Corden? I've lost interest since Craig Ferguson left, but the guy has had some good bits. The most impressive one of the bunch is "Roll Call" where he gets a willing cele...
Days of Future Rogue photo
Days of Future Rogue

X-Men: Days of Future Past is getting a 'Rogue Cut'


Days of Future Rogue
May 06
// Nick Valdez
One of my biggest issues with X-Men: Days of Future Past was how many characters it tried to squeeze into its movie (which is why I'm always worrying about the sequel, Apocalypse, which is ramping up that number everyday). An...

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