Snaxist NYCC Edition: Nestle's Star Wars Coffee-mate Creamer

Oct 09 // Nick Valdez
Since there's no point in drawing this out (because I've only got a few hours of life left), I'll give you some mini-reactions with each flavor. There are five in total, and for each flavor I drank a new cup of coffee. In order to get the most out of the creamer, I did half coffee, half creamer for each cup. At the time it seemed like a good idea to drink all of these in one sitting, but retrospection makes fools of us all. I have no idea why I did this. Was I worried they were going somewhere? I knew they'd be around all weekend, but for some awful, awful reason I felt compelled to keep drinking. It's all for you I guess.  C-3PO's Hazelnut First of all, I don't like what this flavor's insinuating. The less coming out of C-3PO, the better. Other than that, it's a very generic flavor. Not too pungent, but not too inviting either. It's just too bland to register a taste. Good thing it went first.  R2-D2's French Vanilla With how generic hazelnut turned out to be, I had no hopes for vanilla. When you think bland, you think "vanilla," so what were the chances it'd be good? Surprisingly, it's my favorite of the creamers. It's super sweet, but very tasty. It's what I needed to wash the Hazelnut out of my mouth.  Boba Fett's Italian Sweet Creme At this point, I've already had way more caffeine than I'm used to so I'm going to blame what happened here on all of that. I don't really remember this registering any of kind of flavor. I just couldn't stop laughing at how weird "Boba Fett's sweet creme" sounded when spoken aloud. I don't remember how loud I actually was, but it garnered a few worried looks. That's a memory I'll certainly carry to my early grave.  Darth Vader's Espresso Chocolate (New Limited Edition Flavor) At this point my palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy, vomit on my sweater already. I think it was mom's spaghetti. I had double vision. So much caffeine, so many random thoughts. Like do you think Vader had enough time to create this chocolate blend? You think there's an coffee based laboratory in the Empire? Is that why they blew up the Death Star? For its chocolate recipes? Either way, this was once again way too sweet. It tasted like I shoved a chocolate bar down my throat before a coffee chaser. Just hook it to my veins if you want to drown me in it. But it's the better of the two new flavors.  Chewbacca's Spiced Latte (New Limited Edition Flavor)  I'd hesitate to actually say this is a "flavor." But since I was more coffee than man at this point. I had to forge ahead. I was too far in to give up, and I one more cup wasn't going to give me double vision. Well, that's pretty much what happened. This one was the only time I physically wretched after drinking, and boy was it bad. It's got this over-confident cinnamon on the way down and hits you with something completely different in the after taste. I'd had enough. As soon as I started walking away, it's like all five cups hit me at once. I don't know how I got home, but I feel as I've come closer to death. I just, just know that's what happened. I did all for you, so come visit my grave. Then pour creamer on it. 
NYCC Snaxist photo
It's basically terrible
I'm not a huge coffee drinker. I don't drink the stuff daily, nor do I even drink it on occasion, but I've recently found that as I get older, it's harder and harder to wake up. Seeing as how I actually needed coffee for once...

NYCC: Nickelodeon's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles panel and Season 4 Premiere Recap

Oct 08 // Nick Valdez
Most of the voice cast was present with the absence of Mae Whitman and Sean Astin being the only loss (but he called in through Facetime) as well as showrunner Ciro Nieli and writer Brandon Auman. Wasting no time they started discussing the show's major shake up at the end of season three (once again, major spoilers), as the Tricertons set off a black hole bomb resulting in both Splinter's death and the destruction of the Earth. Splinter's VO Hoon Lee expressed some concern over it, but he also argued that it showed how dangerous the Turtles' life really is as they "live by the sword and die by the sword." Nieli stated that they wanted to try something big like that because they have all sorts of different directions for the show, and by the sounds of some of the news it's going to go to some crazy places.  Here are some of the major plans for season 4: David Tennant's Fugitoid is playing a huge role in the series going forward.  Keith David joins the show voicing a Salamander commander who may or may not truly be a bad guy (from a race based on The Newtralizer) The A-Team's Dwight Schultz is joining the cast as Wyrm, who's no longer a mutated trashman but now an all powerful alien genie with reality bending powers (think Bat-Mite) who fights the turtles by shapeshifting and wrapping them up in a big ball, hilariously. Also Casey's glowing blue and super smart for some reason.  The biggest thing? The Krang suit from the original 80s cartoon is returning as part of a 2D animatedspecial crossover with the original voice cast in tow, including Pat Fraley returning to voice the original villainous Krang. We were shown an in progress cinematic, and for anyone worried that the show's two tones would clash, don't worry. It's funny, has lots of action, and it'll warm your heart. As for the season four premiere, the show's getting an entirely new title cinematic. With a bit of summary of season three's finale, the turtles are shown in all sorts of new space situations. After that, the Turtles are trying to get used to their new situation as Fugitoid lays out the goal for the season. They need to collect shards of a special time macguffin in order to save the Earth (which is now stuck in a weird stasis of both existence and non-existence), but if the Triceratons get them first it's all over. With a new goal and some cool looking, color coordinated space suits (April's looks very familiar to those who've followed the 80s cartoon) the Turtles have a new lease on life. Which means we don't have to worry too much about angst or anything like that. Considering how heavy three's finale was, it's refreshing that season four giddily jumped into the new status quo. Anyway, after an asteroid belt leaves their ship damaged, the Turtles land on a planet of rogues, pirates and thieves (Raphael naturally likes it while Fugitoid notes he's never been but says it looks great in the Spring).  On the new planet, the Turtles make all sorts of space puns (a few of them land, most don't but the kids'll love it) and are introduced to a bunch of new technologies (which will most likely make their ninjutsu much better as the season roles on). After some exploring and each turtle finding their own troubling situation, we're introduced to season four's major addition, Peter Stormare's Lord Dregg. I have no clue how they landed Stormare, but he's fantastic. He's chewing up the scenery immensely and you can tell he absolutely loved playing the bad guy. Lord Dregg majorly outclasses the Turtles while throwing them around like ragdolls and has technologically superior, super tough henchmen. After the Turtles flee the planet and have a space battle with Dregg, the episode ends with the Turtles hyperspacing into the unknown.  After having so much fun with the premiere, I'm totally confident that the writing staff knew what it was doing when it literally blew itself up. I've never been more excited for a TMNT season, especially after last season felt like such a retread. It's definitely a good shot in the arm, and besides all the blatant need for new toys, the show's going to very enjoyable. I can't wait to see the rest of TMNT's universe.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' fourth season premieres October 25th on Nickelodeon. 
TMNT  photo
Turtles in space!
Since this is my second year at a big convention like this, I'm still pretty inexperienced with panels. My first big one was Disney's Tomorrowland panel, but I didn't stay the entire way through. So this year I made it my mis...

NYCC photo
NYCC 2015 is upon us and we're here to bring you all sorts of weird things. Not sure exactly yet what kind of news or tidbits we'll find out since there aren't any major panels other than MArvel and DC's TV stuff this year, b...

Moana photo

Disney casts its next princess, Moana

Oct 07
// Nick Valdez
I've been pretty excited for Disney's Moana since it was announced. After hearing their next project was about a Polynesian princess, and after Frozen, Big Hero 6, Wreck-It Ralph and Tangled turned out pretty good, they've ea...

The Flash Season 2 Premiere Recap: "The Man Who Saved Central City"

Oct 07 // Nick Valdez
Six months after a black hole (dubbed "The Singularity") opened over Central City in last season's finale, Barry's (Grant Gustin) going through the typical superhero angst. He blames himself for the whole debacle (and Eddie's death) and can't stop insisting that he "didn't save anyone." Regardless, Central City is honoring their hero with "Flash Day" (which sounds like an awful day out of context), and it's a pretty sensible way to integrate more of the comics' lore with the series. Anyhoo, the rest of the episode is dedicated to setting up and demolishing a new status quo. That's what I mean about everything and nothing. So much happens in this episode, but it's all brushed to the side so quickly that it all feels inconsequential. Through poorly implemented dream and flashback sequences we learn a few things: Ronnie has died again as he seemingly disappeared into the singularity when he and Dr. Stein Firestorm'd it, Cisco is working closer with the police's new meta-human task force, and the Star Labs crew split up (but are back together by the end of the episode).  During all of this a new monster of the week is introduced with Atom Smasher, a guy who looks like someone killed at the beginning of the episode and absorbs radiation in order to become big and strong. Like most of the show's villain of the week episodes, he neither gets a lot of development nor is he beaten in an interesting way. But the one interesting nugget is that he's being manipulated by some other villain named "Zoom," who wants to kill Flash for some reason (though folks familiar with the comics will probably be super confused by this new info). Oh and by the way, Harrison Wells/Eobard Thawne left a video confessing to Barry's mom's murder and setting his dad free. Then his dad, for some inane reason, decided to skip town to keep from distracting Barry or something? It's asinine, and it's the kind of writing the show's manged to avoid to this point. I want to believe there's a better reason for this, and the showrunner has a big picture idea for Barry's dad but this seems like they no longer had a reason to keep Shipp in the show. Then, Barry lets him leave off screen and we'll supposedly never hear from him again. Seriously. Despite all the time the episode devoted to Barry's angst, you'd figured a huge development like this would get more than five minutes of screen time.  Because so much of this premiere is dedicated to setting up the rest of the season, it forgets to become an entertaining episode itself. We're given no time to linger or develop on the finale's fallout, and we're expected to quickly move forward. I mean, we couldn't even end the episode without a tease of what's to come with the new character, Jay Garrick introducing himself at the end. I'll give the writers the benefit of the doubt here and assume they've got a plan to make all of this make sense retroactively. I'm sure they're holding off on all of the wacky stuff they have planned in order to ease new viewers into the show without overwhelming them with these high concept (for a superhero show, anyway) ideas. But nothing in the premiere is going to draw new viewers in, It's relying too much on the good will it's built with the first season and hopes that its quirks will keep people long enough to show off what it wants to do. I guess we'll find out for sure next week.  Final Thoughts:  Cisco provides so much of the episode's better moments. The Flash signal he found in a comic book, hugging Dr. Stein after Stein nicknamed the new villain, and his "For real?" after Garrick breaks into Star Labs' fancy new security system. Maybe Ronnie did actually die since he's not included in CW's Legends of Tomorrow line up, but Dr. Stein is. Robbie Amell can't catch a break, can he? Dying all over the place.  Flash's new suit includes the white around his lightning bolt like his future self. Looks much better, but after the build up to the suit reveal, I was hoping for a bigger overhaul.  I won't be covering CW's other superhero show, but I hope you'll stick with me through this!  Want to see more of our TV coverage? Check out our TV Recaps and Reviews! 
The Flash Recap photo
Two worlds, one Flash
I didn't realize how much I'd missed The Flash until seeing it again last night. It's the first superhero show that I've been strongly attached to, and it's with good reason. DC Comics have been killing the TV game for years,...

Fear the Walking Dead Season Finale Recap: "The Good Man"

Oct 05 // Nick Valdez
With the encroaching danger of the arena filled with thousands of zombies (which I'm glad we didn't know about until the last episode, it could've been stupidly teased through all six episodes and became more annoying than not) and the military abandoning El Serreno, the gang makes plans to break into the military compound in order to rescue Nick and (the now dead) Griselda. It's generic stuff to be sure, but it's interesting how we get to that point. First, Travis decides to spare The Faculty military guy since he says he knows where everyone is. Then Daniel decides to weaponize the arena full of zombies and lets them loose on the military compound. It's pretty goofy how a horde would walk up without anyone realizing, but it gives Daniel a bonafide badass moment ("You should save your ammunition.") as he strolls away. Then we finally get the action people have been clamoring for. A nicely laid out kitchen fight, several tense moments (one of which comes into play during the finale's final scene), and several nice character bits.  There are too many good bits to talk about, but here are a few of my favorites. These scenes managed to squeeze in genuine emotion in between all of the action, something that the parent series hasn't been able to do for some time: The doctor gives up and presumably kills herself with her cattle gun as she loses hope in the military, an infected soldier runs head first into a helicopter blade, Nick nearly gets a heroic death with his silent "Go" through the door before being saved at the last minute (and made me think there might be something else to his character after all), Daniel and Ofelia see the piles of ash and bodies that Griselda is now a part of (that's one of the most striking images I've seen in either of the shows. It's far more upsetting than seeing characters do it themselves), after The Faculty soldier shoots Ofeila Travis beats him to death, regretting his decision to let him go, Strand gets his cuff links back, and the military shows that the characters can't rely on anyone other than themselves.  But the best part of the finale? Oddly the one I hate the most due to increasingly stupid peaceful nature, Travis begins to change as the world changes. Becoming more like Daniel (and thus capitalizing on the duality set up in previous episodes), Travis begins making these violent choices for the benefit of his family. For one, he doesn't tell any of his former neighbors that the military has abandoned them, and two, he basically kills everybody without hesitation. Like Rick, Travis is slowly changing, but unlike Rick, it's much more interesting to watch Travis' hope be crushed. Leading to the episode biggest moment, Liza's unfortunate demise. As the group makes it to Strand's beach side residence, as he details his plans to get to his ship Abigail, you'd think all of the main characters would be in the clear. But unfortunately, after being attacked in that kitchen scene, Liza reveals she's been infected. After giving Madison and Travis all of the knowledge she gained from the military (that it's pretty much hopeless as everyone comes back after they die), she decides she doesn't want her son to see her in that state. Rodriguez absolutely kills it here, and this scene hits harder than you'd expect thanks to her acting.  It sucks since I was getting attached to her, but I'm guessing no one really knew what to do with her character anymore. Although her death provides a more hopeless situation (changing Travis and Chris, losing the only one with any kind of medical knowledge), it sort of reeks of that "kill the woman to make the man more interesting" thing. They're losing a great actress, but I'm confident the show knows what it's doing. The major death of this episode is an intimate moment, and it's reflective of how this show's been handled. It's also something I can't say of the parent series, that for the first time, I actually cared that someone was dying off in one of these shows. It's genuinely unexpected, it's quiet, and then it's over but its lingering effects will be felt as the series rolls on. It's potential that the parent series failed to capitalize on, and as long as Fear avoids those same trappings, it can be a much better show. It's already had a much better first season.  Final Thoughts:  "You can keep the watch." Strand is so f**king cool.  Speaking of Strand, his character is pushing this into comic book-y territory, but he's so interesting I won't be bothered to care. His strict self-preservation's going to clash with the main cast soon, and it'll be fun to see which side of the new world folks will stand on.  You can argue that no one in this show is likable or interesting, and it'd be hard to argue, but later episodes will hopefully utilize all of the nuance laid out early on.  Nick's "everyone's catching up to me" speech was pretty dumb. Reminds me too much of this PSA. Fear's miniseries Flight 462, which will introduce a character for season two, premieres during each episode of the Walking Dead but I'll probably wait until it's all over to talk about it. No point in discussing a minute long episode each week.  So that's it! Thanks for sticking with me, folks. I'll be back next week with the series proper. Stay tuned!  Want to see more of our TV coverage? Check out our TV Recaps and Reviews! 
FTWD Recap photo
Can't wait for season two
Just like with its parent series, Fear the Walking Dead has been experiencing some growing pains within its very short, six episode first season. As the biggest draw, the zombies, took a backseat to a more intimate story of f...

The Simpsons Season 27 Premiere Review: Stunt Gone Wrong

Sep 28 // Nick Valdez
If you've followed any kind of entertainment news, you've probably heard of how Fox was promoting Homer and Marge's separation (along with Lena Dunham's cameo) as the next big thing to happen to the family. In recent years (more so in the upper 20s than not), the series has relied on these big events to draw in viewers. It kind of sucks since these kinds of events are usually saved for shows on the brink of cancellation as they gasp for air, and this show has never been starved for viewers. It's more telling that the event was advertised like a big deal, forgoing all of Homer and Marge's history (they were technically not married between Season 8's "A Milhouse Divided" and Season 16's "There's Something About Marrying") and not focusing on the why it happens. I guess when I finally sat down to watch this, I had hoped we'd get a well written story out of all of this nonsense. I mean, we're looking at a couple that's withstood an entire town riot, multiple opportunities to cheat, and several failed mortgages. So what finally rips them apart? Narcolepsy.  When Homer is diagnosed with narcolepsy (featuring the only funny segment in the episode as Dr. Hibbert notes the family's been on way too many wacky vacations), he uses the prescription to avoid all sorts of responsibilities. Marge's finally had enough, and after visiting a marriage counselor, decides to legally separate. Homer then ends up dating the kooky pharmacist Candace (Lena Dunham) and it leads to cheating on Marge, Marge quickly marrying Candace's dad, and the Simpsons kids welcoming their new predicament. The thing is, I can totally see this premise working in an earlier season. It's all just badly handled. I don't see Homer's laziness finally breaking Marge down since she's been through so much, and it's a shame that we don't get any other point of views. It's yet another formulaic "Homer is a dope" episode that doesn't treat any of its happenings with any weight. You know why? Because it's all a dream sequence. That's right, the big separation Fox has been pushing has been one of Homer's narcoleptic dreams. And when I thought for a second that the series wouldn't return to the status quo by episode end (since most of the series' future episodes laid out Homer and Marge's divorce as canon), the rug's pulled out several times. A "dream within a dream within a dream" bit would've been enjoyable had it been funny, or at least well written, but this wasn't the case.  This premiere has just been the latest in a long line of examples (the big "death" promoted last season, big guest stars in bit parts) why the show ain't what she used to be. I've stuck it out through these later seasons out of loyalty and the occasional nuggets ("500 Keys," "Holidays of Future Passed," "Eternal Moonshine of the Spotless Mind"), but this premiere feels more like a spit in my face than ever. I don't care if it's all a dream, but it's just so lazy. It neglects years of character work in favor of the "now." In an episode that references obscure oddities like the Springfield Atom, the Space Coyote, Fatov, or the one time Germans owned the power plant, it's hard to believe that they'd forget that Homer would never cheat on Marge. Every time they've been separated, he's always been a pitiable recluse full of blind love, and that's always been one of the reasons Marge finally takes him back. To see him do such a 180 is ridiculous, even for a supposed dream. Not to mention, there's no real reason Candace should go out with Homer. He's completely negative, washed out, and bashes her friends.  To do a premise like this properly, we'd have to take time and look at both and Homer and Marge. I would've welcomed them actually separating since it would've opened up all sorts of story potential. We've seen so much of this family as a unit, it would've been a good late season shake up to have them be apart for longer than an episode. But it feels like we're going in terrible circles. If the rest of the season is like this, I don't know if I can hang on anymore.  Final Thoughts:  Good to hear the rest of the Girls cast came along as Candace's friends, but their roles are wasted. Maybe a full on millenial episode like the Portlandia tribute "The Day the Earth Stood Cool" would've been a better idea.  Seriously, the opening bit at the hospital had some good meta jokes. Lots of Dr. Hibbert means that Harry Shearer definitely would've been missed.  My roommate's got a Space Coyote tattoo, so I'm sure he would've enjoyed that visual. That whole fantasy sequence wasn't too bad either.  Want to see more of our TV coverage? Check out our TV Recaps and Reviews! 
The Simpsons photo
No more cheap stunts please
I've been a big supporter of The Simpsons for as long as I can remember. Literally, one of my first memories was asking to watch the show. And if you ask my mother, she'd tell you I'd move around in my high chair in order to ...

Fear the Walking Dead Season 1 Recap: "Cobalt"

Sep 28 // Nick Valdez
All season long, Fear has been struggling to find its voice, i.e. what's going to set it apart from its parent series and other zombie media. Rather than tackle the endless feelings of depression and creeping mortality, Fear is once again making this an intimate apocalypse. As society begins breaking down, it's also leading to the dissolution of the intimacy of relationships. As evidenced by the series' newest, and coolest, character strand (Colman Domingo) in an opening monologue (given for the explicit purpose of driving weaker individuals out), society is crumbling and only those who can evolve along with the new world will survive. This also leads to the episode's central focus: the duality of Daniel and Travis. One's been bred through war and struggle in El Salvador, and the other's a guy who'd rather not incite violence. For the first time, Travis isn't annoying. I've discussed in length about how much his blind ignorance has bothered me seeing as how the rest of the family has accepted the new situation, but seeing him slowly come around has been oddly entertaining.  As the military force becomes way more political, seeing as how heavy patriotism and dehumanization of the zombies has become a coping mechanism for their strenuous mission, their cracks are starting to show. We're also learning how the world ended up the way it is in TWD as even the military forces fall apart due to sheer number of infected and soldiers wanting to return home to their families. It took even more "I'm a bad guy nyaaah" from the general to get Travis to snap out of whatever the hell he was thinking (and them trying to get Travis to shoot the gun was a very bad idea. He seriously could've hurt himself. His eye on the scope would've given him a black eye), but it works. That brings us back to Daniel Salazar and his torture. In order to get information from the kid from The Faculty his daughter was using, he begins torturing him. But I'm impressed with how Fear handled it. It didn't linger on any violence, but instead chose to enforce why Daniel thought it was a good idea. The series has been giving Daniel more and more darkness as it goes on, and this was just icing on the cake. Since he's experienced societal breakdown before (as he and Griselda fled to the US during Salvadorian civil war), he's figured out torture was one of the only ways to survive. Compare that to Travis and his inability to evolve, and Daniel's pretty much one end of the spectrum. His torture brings us to the crux of the episode as it leads to the season finale. As Liza steps into the military medical facility (and as Nick is trapped within), she's witnessing how they're handling things. We don't see the big picture, but that's not really important because there's a sense of imminent danger from all of it. The military's been using the facility to figure out the disease and pretty much puts down anyone who seems like a viable threat. It also meant that at one point, 2000 or so people were locked into an arena once infection broke. And that also brings the title of the episode as "Cobalt" refers to them abandoning the encampment and "humanely" terminating the people there less they become zombies later.  So after a slow buildup, we're finally going to see society crumble. The military's struggling as communication breaks down and human nature takes over, that arena's going to burst open and force our characters out of LA, and as the coolest character Strand notes, the only thing that's going to push folks forward is their "obligation" to other people and their relationships. Fear's made the most out of its personal apocalypse and the characters have become a bit more interesting than Rick's gang of comic book characters.  Final Thoughts:  Alycia and Chris still are the worst characters, but their combined storyline of discussing class issues while wrecking a rich person's home led to some interesting areas. That's more than I can say for previous episodes which gave them nothing to do.  Seeing as how Strand is super interesting, I see Fear holding off on killing another Black character for a bit. Good for them! Teaming up with the annoying Nick (going through withdrawals) is more evidence in Fear's confident long game.  "I'm an addict." "No, you're a heroin addict. That's the gold standard. Don't sell yourself short."  Just like the parent series, Fear's first season has been all set up for the second season. Let's hope it ends better than Walking Dead did.  Want to see more of our TV coverage? Check out our TV Recaps and Reviews! 
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Whoa, what show is this?
The show's been very confident in its long game. After immediately getting picked up for a second season, I'm sure the showrunners knew they'd have time to build up to a satisfying story. It may have been rough before the Lab...

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Prometheus 2

Prometheus sequel gets new, Alien friendly title

Sep 25
// Nick Valdez
Despite the two hour confusing slog it was, Prometheus was divisive here at Flixist. We even pulled in Jim Sterling at one point to talk about it because it was so crazy. I'm sure Ridley Scott was interested in pursuing a seq...
The Splat photo
The Splat

Nickelodeon reviving 90's programming with The Splat

Olmec now, Olmec forever
Sep 25
// Nick Valdez
Remember the Nicktoons channel? It was this channel dedicated to past Nickelodeon cartoons like Rugrats or As Told By Ginger that was phased out in favor another outlet for their live programming. But with the 90s nostalgia b...
Spectre photo

Listen to Sam Smith's Spectre theme, "Writing's on the Wall"

Sep 25
// Nick Valdez
"Skyfall" > "You Know My Name" > "Another Way to Die" > "Writing's On the Wall" 

The Muppets Pilot Review: Not Really for Kids, But That's Okay

Sep 23 // Nick Valdez
There's a bit of a jarring transition going into this new status quo. The show follows the Muppets backstage as they work on a late night talk show starring Miss Piggy (think The Late Show with Stephen Colbert or The Tonight Show and you've gotten the idea). There's also traditional bits of character work for the show moving forward: Fozzie's in a relationship where his girlfriend's parents don't approve of their daughter dating a bear, The Electric Mayhem may have substance abuse problems (but that's in side jokes, don't worry), and the afortmentioned Kermit and Miss Piggy have split up but maintain a working relationship the best they can. The biggest change has to be Kermit's new personality. Maybe it's due to being walked on over the years, or stress from his managerial gig, but this new Kermit's kind of a jerk. A funny jerk, mind you, but a jerk nonetheless. At least he's got all sorts of new facial expressions to toss around. The folks at work have made some great renovations to Kermit's puppetry. He's also got a new girlfriend, Denise.  That's the kind of stuff I'm referring to when I say The Muppets aren't really for kids anymore. They've been all ages for years, so there are probably tons of examples you could point to of when the Muppets had adult-oriented humor. But this is the first time I noticed a clear barrier of entry. By the time Kermit refers Miss Piggy as "sexy," it's already put all the nails in the coffin for kids. But while the whole family can't enjoy, I'm sure the Muppets can draw a lot from this new level of sophisticated humor. I laughed quite a few times during this pilot, and they weren't due to the same kind of slapstick gags or easy jokes you'd expect. Drawing from the more successful aspects of the two films, there's a greater emphasis on joke writing and staging. So there's a better balance of the classic Muppets charm without an over-reliance of some of the cornier jokes. Then again, this could all just be too early to tell if the strength of the writing can hold out for the following weeks.  At the end of the day, it's The Muppets in a brand new package. You don't know exactly what you're getting anymore, but it's the most interesting The Muppets have been in some time.  Final Thoughts:  Imagine Dragons: "Why won't you come on tour with us?" Animal: "Too many cities. Too many women." "You went into a room full of dancing stars and came back with Tom Bergeron?"  "What can I say? I have a thing for pigs." Elizabeth Banks totally kills her guest spot.  Riki Lindhome showed up in both this and Fresh Off the Boat last night, and the world clearly needs more of her. Her presence is always welcome.  Want to see more of our TV coverage? Check out our TV Recaps and Reviews! 
The Muppets TV photo
Tom Bergeron can't catch a break
The Muppets have made quite a comeback the last few years. After two successful films, the latest Muppet project brings them to ABC in a mockumentary style format similar to shows like Parks and Recreation or The Office (henc...

Scream Queens Series Premiere Recap: "Pilot/Hell Week"

Sep 23 // Nick Valdez
I'm not sure if Fox's plan to premiere two episodes in a row was a good thing. When succumbed to that much of Murphy's work at once, the cracks always show. It's one of the rare cases where the pilot fared much better than the first episode of the series proper. For example, the show opens in a particularly interesting way as a girl (in 1995, no less) gives birth to a baby in a bathtub during a sorority (Kappa Kappa Tau) party. The other girls ignore her when TLC's "Waterfalls" comes on, thus leading to her death and a mysterious cover up that's sure to be one of the running threads throughout the series. It's a pretty impressive hook for any pilot and perfectly captures the tone the Glee trio of Murphy/Falchuk/Brennan is looking for. It's darkly humorous, creepy, informative of the show's universe, and there's a splash of pop culture reference. But other than one other scene which I'll get to in a bit, it never quite reaches that height again.  There's always been something that bothered me with Murphy's work. Because he's a marginalized individual, he's always been okay with exploiting other margins in the sake of comedy. The same problems that have plagued his shows appear here as well. There are racial stereotypes (though I'm sure Keke Palmer is just playing Keke Palmer despite arguments otherwise), thickly laid homoeroticism that borders on the homophobic, and a "Queen Bee" character in Emma Roberts the trio uses as a funnel for every terrible (ultimately non-humorous) thing they could think of. But what separates Queens from a show like, let's say, Scream, is that it doesn't dwell on these characters and takes them seriously. It's a show full of dumb caricatures making terrible choices, and we're going to want to watch them get murdered week to week. From the looks of how much humor it can mine from gleefully killing its characters, I'm sure they're be style in spades. Just by watching these first two episodes, I've figured the modus operandi of Scream Queens is to revel in its quirk so much it won't be bothered to actually develop any of its characters. There's some surprising level of depth to Emma Roberts' Chanel (which make the other Chanels look lacking in comparison), but if she's expected to lead the series instead of the final girl archetype Grace (Skyler Samuels), I don't know how much of her I can take. There are definite narrative nuggets to her character, so I hope I can chalk it up to growing pains. As for everyone else, Jamie Lee Curtis and Nick Jonas are definitely the standouts. Curtis is basically playing Coach Sue Sylvester with a dark twist, and Jonas' secretly gay-but-not-secretly gay Boone is full on cheese and it's the best. But you know who gets the biggest scene? Ariana Grande. Not because of her acting or her character, but because a well crafted and staged scene that perfectly encapsulates the show's potential.  Since Scream Queens is an homage to B-grade films, but still wants to poke fun at the current state of horror, we get this awesome scene where Chanel No. 2 is murdered by the series' killer, the Red Devil, through text messages. It nets the biggest laugh and is oddly proactive as Chanel tries her best to tweet out her death. She isn't just silently killed off into the night, but does her best to prevent it even when locked into a goofy sequence. The same can't be said for the series' next two deaths, but so far, each death sequence has been unique and pretty damn funny. Once you get past the show's awkward writing, the rest of the package is great. It's interesting enough that I've decided to talk about it for the next few weeks.  Final Thoughts:  Chad Radwell, the stereotypical rich jerk who's cool with his best friend being gay, is by far my favorite character in the show thus far. I'm sure his death scene is going to be fantastic.  Lea Michele's Hester takes a maniacal turn in episode two and I'm not sure I like it yet.  Abigail Breslin as Chanel No 5 hasn't really made a name for herself yet. I thought she was the good girl who was just stuck in her terrible sorority, but her turn in the second episode proved that wrong.  I'm also not sure what to think of Niecy Nash and Nasim Pedrad's characters. They're the wackiest characters in the show by far, but it's too early to tell if that's a good thing or not.  At least this isn't as bad as The New Normal was.  Remember that VH1 reality show Scream Queens, where 8 actresses went through challenges in order to land a role in one of the Saw movies? That was a good time. They should do that again.  Want to see more of our TV coverage? Check out our TV Recaps and Reviews! 
Scream Queens Recap photo
Glee and AHS had an awkward baby
You folks don't know this, because we'd only recently begun covering television in earnest, but I was a huge fan of Glee. I bought the soundtracks, I bought the seasons on DVD (this was before Netflix took over and ruined EVE...

Limitless Pilot Review: Limited in Scope

Sep 23 // Nick Valdez
Taking place sometime after the events of 2011's Limitless, a drug known as NZT taps into the brain's potential and removes a set of limiters which hold our thought processes back. As Brian Finch (Jake McDorman) feels like a failure (his dad's sick, his band isn't getting anywhere, and he's yet to hold a steady job), he's introduced to NZT and suddenly gets framed for murder when his best friend is killed. In order to prove himself innocent, he starts hunting down and taking more NZT in order to stay ahead of the police and lead Detective Rebecca (Jennifer Carpenter, who always gets stuck looking after a dude with major problems in these shows). After all of the shenanigans, and finding out Brian's immune to the drugs' physical toll, Rebecca chooses to work with Brian in order to use his super brain as a police resource.  I try my best not to compare a piece of media to other things, but it's much harder to do with television. This time of season we'll get a lot of shows with the same core formula, but only the ones with the strongest hook or writing manage to last into the winter. As Limitless becomes yet another cop procedural, it's hard not to compare with shows that use its tropes better. A female cop teams up with a guy outside of the force? It's done better in Castle. A guy who's super smart and has all the answers? Check any of the leading network shows for white men who solve problems. Heck, it's even in CBS's own Elementary right now. Unfortunately, the only thing that could've made this show interesting (having Brian slowly degenerate through the series due to the drug's effects) is brushed away by a Bradley Cooper cameo. I'm not sure why the show refused to follow a broken lead, but broken characters always make for better TV. Just imagine if later in the series Brian became a wild and reckless junkie doing whatever he needed to for his next fix in order to stop other crimes. But with the police providing his drugs and with the narrative mistake of never showing what it does to his brain, there's a lack of tension. Even when's he's scrambling around for it in the pilot, it never once feels like he's in any kind of trouble. All we're left with is a super successful man successfully succeeding.  Seeing the film's lead character (who's now running for Senator) adds legitimacy, but it only reminded me of how much I was willing to brush off the film due to Cooper's charismatic nature. I was okay with Motta's rampant success because Cooper is a guy you want to see work things out. I'm not sure if the show will lead to the violent places the film did, but I don't think I care. Unfortunately for Jake McDorman, he doesn't have any kind of personality yet. I hope he can build it through the series, but he's sort of a brick wall. His scenes with Carpenter are a travesty. It's like she's talking to air as McDorman gives her nothing to bounce off of. As for the show's direction, the less said the better. There's nothing distinguishing this from CBS's other cop procedurals. It's the same drab looks, the same weird CG, and lacks any kind of distinct characteristics. It's entirely relying on the fact it's based off a film and hopes we'll enjoy the hook of the super drug enough to stick around.  But seeing as how much Limitless is limiting its own storytelling potential, feel free to pass on this show.  Final Thoughts:  This guy feels like a failure at 28? F**k this guy.  It really is nice of Bradley Cooper to do things like this. He really didn't have to show up and be the mysterious guy who knows everything (even if he's the executive producer), but it makes sense for the world building. Cooper should really consider more villainous roles.  Speaking of Cooper's cameo, he's a talking CG baby at one point. Yeah, I don't know what happened there.  I wished the pilot made more time for Brian to have fun with his new abilities. The montage where he experiments with his new brainpower is the best scene of the episode. McDorman actually has some personality here, and I hope there'll be time for that later. The serious tone the show takes later in the episode completely snuffs out this Brian. 
Limitless photo
Could use some of that super brain drug
If you haven't been paying attention to the TV scene lately, it's been getting more and more impressive. Shows are getting better budgets, a higher class of actors, and their getting all sorts of social media attention. It's ...

Minority Report Pilot Review: It's Basically Already Canceled

Sep 22 // Nick Valdez
Taking place ten years after the events of Steven Spielberg's Minority Report (which the pilot has to remind folks existed) and the end of the PreCrime Unit (where the police arrested folks based on murders that hadn't yet happened), one of the "Precognitives" Dash (Stark Sands) has grown tired of hiding as his murder visions grew worse and worse. He eventually teams up with Detective Lara Vega (Meagan Good of Cousin Skeeter fame)  and their adventures in policing begin or something like that.  Pilots are under an extreme amount of pressure. They've got to hook their respective viewers within the first fifteen minutes or so while showing why the world they inhabit is worth investing in. Report actually accomplishes this pretty well. The opener follows Dash as he frantically dashes toward the scene of a crime while showing off the pilot's impressive budget (which I don't expect to hold weight through the rest of the series, much like Almost Human). It's a subtle and intelligent sequence as Dash struggles knowing the entire time he'll fail. But there's never any hand holding during this, and we're left to infer it from his actions. And when he does indeed fail to stop the murder, it's as simple as watching him turn away from the scene since he's witnessed so much of it already. Unfortunately, that same light touch doesn't extend past that point. After the first ten or some minutes, Report basically becomes every cop show ever. I don't really understand why, but for some reason Report constantly exposits story details. Lines like "They remind you of having no parents, that's why you came to me." or along those lines. It loses that subtlety in favor in overtly stating how other characters relate to other ones, and it's not like those relationships are particularly inventive either. You'd figure with a world 50 years in the future, the future police would have better conversations than "I'm a future police." That's not really what they say, but I hope you get my point. I guess I'm still sour about Almost Human. That show had a much better handled premise. It's not all bad as there are a few nuggets that might prove interesting later, but this pilot had a ton of rough edges. Normally I'd say to forgive a pilot's bad writing if the cast or premise were gripping enough, but I don't feel that way here. I'd love for Meagan Good to have a great starring vehicle, but since she yet again plays second fiddle to some white guy, I'm over it.  Either way you fall on this, Fox will cancel this after the first season...if it even gets to that point.  Final Thoughts:  Meagan Good is great, but I wish the pilot exploited her body less. It really undermines how good of a detective she is when we're all ogling a picture of her in a bikini.  We're all lucky I didn't use "Meagan Bad"  Wilmer Valderama is here. That's all I have to say about that.  "When I was your age, we used this thing called Tinder. It's how I met your father." I don't care what year it is, no one ever will refer to Iggy Azalea's "Trouble" as an "oldie."  I totally believe The Simpsons will still be on the air 50 years from now. 
Minority Report photo
I miss Almost Human
As television grows more and more influential thanks to its ready availability through streaming services, networks have been putting more and more money and effort into their offerings. One of the weird consequences of this ...

Fall 2015 TV Premieres: What to Watch and When

Sep 21 // Nick Valdez
September Tuesday, September 8th The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 1035PM) Wednesday, September 9th The League (FXX, 9PM) You're the Worst (FXX, 930PM) Thursday, September 10 Longmire (Netflix) Friday, September 11 Z Nation (SyFy, 9PM) Continuum (SyFy, 10PM) Tuesday, September 15 The Mindy Project (Hulu) Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris (NBC, 9PM) The Bastard Executioner (FX, 9PM) Wednesday, September 16 South Park (Comedy Central, 9PM) Moonbeam City (Comedy Central, 930PM) Saturday, September 19 Doctor Who (BBC, 8PM) Monday, September 21 Gotham (FOX, 7PM) Minority Report (FOX, 8PM) The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 7PM) Life in Pieces (CBS, 730PM) Scorpion (CBS, 8PM) Castle (ABC, 9PM) Blindspot (NBC, 9PM) Tuesday, September 22 The Muppets (ABC, 7PM) Fresh Off the Boat (ABC, 730PM) Scream Queens (FOX, 8PM) Limitless (CBS, 9PM) Wednesday, September 23 The Middle (ABC, 7PM) The Goldbergs (ABC, 730PM) Modern Family (ABC, 8PM) Black-ish (ABC, 830PM) Rosewood (FOX, 7PM) Empire (FOX, 8PM) The Mysteries of Laura (NBC, 7PM) TripTank (Comedy Central, 10PM) Thursday, September 24 Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 7PM) Scandal (ABC, 8PM) How to Get Away with Murder (ABC, 9PM) Heroes Reborn (NBC, 7PM) The Player (NBC, 9PM) Friday, September 25 Hawaii Five-O (CBS, 8PM) Blue Bloods (CBS, 9PM) Saturday, September 26 Guardians of the Galaxy (Disney XD, 9PM) Sunday, September 27 Bob's Burgers (FOX, 630PM) The Simpsons (FOX, 7PM) Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX, 730PM) Family Guy (FOX, 8PM) Last Man on Earth (FOX, 830PM) Once Upon a Time (ABC, 7PM) Blood & Oil (ABC, 8PM) Quantico (ABC, 9PM) CSI Two Hour Series Finale (CBS, 8PM) Monday, September 28 The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy Central, 10PM) Tuesday, September 29 Grandfathered (FOX, 7PM) The Grinder (FOX, 730PM) Agents of SHIELD (ABC, 8PM) Wednesday, September 30 Criminal Minds (CBS, 8PM) Code Black (CBS, 9PM) October Thursday, October 1 Bones (FOX, 7PM) Sleepy Hollow (FOX, 8PM) The Blacklist (NBC, 8PM) Saturday, October 3 Saturday Night Live (NBC, 1030PM)0 Sunday, October 4 Madam Secretary (CBS, 7PM) The Good Wife (CBS, 8PM) Homeland (Showtime, 8PM) The Affair (Showtime, 9PM) The Leftovers (HBO, 8PM) Tuesday, October 6 The Flash (The CW, 7PM) iZombie (The CW, 8PM) Finding Carter (MTV, 9PM) Wednesday, October 7 Casual (Hulu) Arrow (The CW, 7PM) Supernatural (The CW, 8PM) American Horror Story: Hotel (FX, 9PM) Thursday, October 8 The Vampire Diaries (The CW, 7PM) The Originals (The CW, 8PM) Haven (SyFy, 9PM) Friday, October 9 Undateable (NBC, 7PM) Reign (The CW, 7PM) Sunday, October 11 The Walking Dead (AMC, 9PM) Monday, October 12 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (The CW, 7PM) Jane the Virgin (The CW, 8PM) Fargo (FX, 9PM) Thursday, October 15 Nathan For You (Comedy Central, 9PM) Friday, October 23 Hemlock Grove (Netflix) Saturday, October 24 Da Vinci's Demons (Starz, 7PM) Monday, October 26 Supergirl (CBS, 730PM) Tuesday, October 27 Wicked City (ABC, 9PM) Friday, October 30 Grimm (NBC, 8PM) Saturday October 31 Ash vs. Evil Dead (Starz, 8PM) November Friday, November 5 Mom (CBS, 8PM) Angel From Hell (CBS, 830PM) Elementary (CBS, 9PM) Saturday, November 6 Master of None (Netflix) Sunday, November 15 Into the Badlands (AMC, 9PM) Friday, November 20 The Man in the High Castle (Amazon Prime) December Thursday, December 3 The Wiz Live (NBC, 7PM) Friday, December 4 Transparent (Amazon Prime) Monday, December 14 Childhood's End (SyFy, 7PM) The Expanse (SyFy, 9PM) January Sunday, January 3 Downton Abbey (PBS, 8PM) Sunday, January 10 The 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards (NBC, 7PM) Sunday, January 17 Shameless (Showtime, 8PM) Billions (Showtime, 9PM) Sunday, January 24 The X-Files (FOX, 6PM) - Special Premiere Event Monday, January 25 The X-Files (FOX, 7PM) - Regular Spot 
Fall TV Preview photo
Fall TV is best TV
I have a pretty outstanding relationship with television. More so than movies (it's so weird that I work here, right?), TV practically raised me from the mean streets of Sesame to the well adjusted adult that I am now. This f...

Fear the Walking Dead Season 1 Recap: "Not Fade Away"

Sep 21 // Nick Valdez
We're two episodes away from the season finale (and before the season six premiere of the parent series), so whatever the seeds the show has been planting had to emerge now more than ever. It's a shame to took something major like the US military (or whatever this is a semblance of, actually) to shake stuff up. But whatever. At the end of last week's episode, a military convoy showed up and bordered off the suburb. In this episode, it's been nine days since the military took over (coupled with a stupidly ironic cover of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day") and characters have settled into new rhythms that'll carry through the season finale: Travis grows accustomed to the military and becomes the middle man between them and the citizens (because of course he would), his son Chris discovers people asking for help outside of the fence, his ex-wife Liza fakes being a nurse in order to give people peace of mind, Madison and Daniel are suspicious of the military, Ofelia is working a military dude for drugs, and Nick is going through MacGuyver-esque lengths for a new fix.  And like the previous episode, this one comes down to activity vs. inactivity. As a way to enhance the series' focus on intimacy (as evident through the copious close up shots), the familial drama and the apocalypse finally combine into a legitimate threat. Rather than follow its parent series' focus on how each individual decides to survive (as we watched Rick slowly evolve into a shadow of his former self through six seasons), Fear seems to focus on how the family wants to survive together. And that's become the show's greatest strength. Rather than fall onto water cooler zombie attacks to keep itself going, one of "Not Fade Away" biggest moments comes from a mother and son. As Madison literally (and more importantly, lovingly) tries to knock some sense into her junky twerp of a son, it's the closest I've ever felt to her. For once, Madison felt human instead of just being the show's main character. The military's lack of info forces Madison out of her pragmatic nature and causes her to make some pretty reckless situations as she escapes from the fence and sees the chaos outside.  Although this stuff seems minimal, it's still very exciting. The military finally reveals their ugly (but strangely logical) motive and starts removing slighted damaged people from the safe zone. I could've done without all of mustache twirling from the army general (as he plays golf and says things like "don't make me take him down"), but the end result is worth it. Fear actually had a tense moment as the military comes into Madison's home and takes her son away along with Daniel's wife Griselda under the guise of medical help. This was set up wonderfully too as Fear takes advantage of its ethnic characters as Daniel tells a horrific story of the government taking people away in El Salvador. There's a brewing distrust and all of it seems like its leading to a season finale where Madison, Daniel (and Travis now that his innocence and trusting nature has been crushed) break into a compound to bust them out. Walking Dead seems to love ending in military compounds.  Final Thoughts:  We need more scenes of Madison and Daniel together. Clearly there's a major benefit in letting the series' two best actors work off each other.  Shawn Hatosy (who I remember from The Faculty) was cast as the military guy who Ofelia is trying to work over for her mother's medicine. He'll surely take a sinister turn later when the military folks decide to take care of themselves rather than the citizens.   "Free medical, care of the United States of America" "Not a lot of traffic these days." I'm kind of impressed with how Nick gets a drug fix in this episode. Hopefully that all comes to a stop. He's become rather annoying. 
FTWD Recap photo
It's better to burn out than fade away
I've been one of the many people decrying Fear the Walking Dead's lack of anything interesting to latch on to. It's a slow burn of a show, but was poorly handling why we needed to stick around to see the result. But surprisin...

Last Witch Diesel photo
Last Witch Diesel

Newest Last Witch Hunter trailer wakes me up inside

Sep 18
// Nick Valdez
I wasn't a big fan of Furious 7 as I should've been, but I'll always love Vin Diesel. He's one of the few actors in Hollywood who unabashedly loves what he's doing and it always comes through on screen. Even if he gives the s...
Tran5mers photo

Michael Bay and Mark Wahlberg probably returning for Transformers 5

Sep 18
// Nick Valdez
Along with news of an animated Transformers spin-off, some other news sprouted out of Paramount's weird writer's workshop which Paramount paid somewhere along seven figures to construct. The writers included (Zak Penn (T...

Review: Cooties

Sep 18 // Nick Valdez
[embed]219880:42604:0[/embed] CootiesDirectors: Jonathan Milott and Cary MurnionRated: RRelease Date: September 18, 2015 At the center of Cooties is Clint, a guy who moved to the bright lights of New York City after graduation to become a big shot writer. But after a few failed attempts has moved back home and is forced to take a substitute teaching gig at his old elementary school. There he meets his old school crush Lucy (Alison Pill), her meathead boyfriend Wade (Rainn Wilson), and a bevy of other weird faculty members like the evolution debunker Rebekkah (Nasim Pedrad) and the socially inept bio teacher Doug (Leigh Whannell). When a contaminated shipment of chicken nuggets (as seen through such a grossly awesome intro, you won't eat chicken nuggets again) turns the kids of the school into flesh eating monsters, Clint and the other teachers have to escape the school to survive.  The biggest draw, or warning sign depending on your humor, is the writing duo of Saw's Leigh Whannell and Glee's Ian Brennan. The two have crafted a wonderfully twisted horror premise, but the dialogue is distinctly Brennan's. As someone who religiously followed Glee through its six seasons (including, but not limited to, buying the Glee karaoke games and soundtrack CDs and watching the short lived Glee Project reality show on Oxygen), I can safely attribute the brunt of the film's humor to him. That's probably going to shy folks away, however. Just like Glee, Cooties' idea of parody is to come of with jokes that are a few years too old. A post 9/11 kid who wants to join the army named Patriot? A closeted gay teacher making innuendos? The vice principal (Brennan himself) saying "Stop it, kids!" before getting ripped apart? Yeah, those jokes are as tired as they seem. As the film's humor gets sidetracked with these weird jokes, it never quite takes the premise as far as it could. But the cast's ability to complete gel with what they're saying is fantastic.  In Cooties, it's the cast that makes it work. They're completely game with the film's wacky tone, and their performances elevate the film to awesomely cartoonish levels. Since you can't get too overtly violent with children and still try and be a comedy, the action has to be more humorous than not to succeed. Since directors Milott and Murnion can't seem to handle action scenes (as most of the action involves the teachers moving from one room to the other and staying there for a few scenes), the cast should be commended for their ability to command attention. As the film itself strays and lingers on a few scenes, the cast is delivering the dialogue with the quickness it needs to make it work and helps make the hokey bits a little more digestible. As Elijah Wood has shown in the past with films like The Faculty, he's perfectly capable of leading a horror comedy. He's still charming as ever even when he starts, literally, pooping himself. The scene stealer, however, is Leigh Whannell. His stunted delivery finally works for his awkward bio teacher as he delivers the film's hilarious science.  While the directors may not handle action scenes too well (leading to a ending scene that feels convoluted and tacked on while completely undermining the film's bittersweet climax), the duo have got a good grasp on imagery. Cooties looks fantastic. Insidious reds, taut greens and shading, and you definitely get the most out of zombie kids. The kids are covered in gross puss and blood (instead of becoming too gruesome, it goes for the comedic route) and aren't too horrendously attacked, there's a girl playing jump rope with an intestine, a kid riding a tricycle covered in blood, zombie kids playing blood hopscotch, and so on. It's pretty much the embodiment of the "kids are terrifying" mantra. The film never quite reaches the level of visual you'd hope with a premise like this, but what is here is well crafted. There's definitely an attention to detail in the visuals even if there's a lack of it elsewhere.  Cooties has its share of faults, but none of them are completely damaging to the overall package. There'll be stuff within the film that bothers you here and there, but when watching the cast and the kids enjoy themselves it's hard not to follow in their footsteps. For every hokey joke, there's one that works. For every clunky action scene, there's a hilarious conversation between two characters.  By the time it makes the egregious mistake of going on past its natural ending, you won't even care too much. You'll have a big smile on your face. 
Cooties Review photo
Might not need that cootie shot
Zombies are everywhere. Name an object and add zombie or "of the dead" to it, and I guarantee there's a film out there with that title. Bong of the Dead? Exists. Toilet of the Dead? Surprisingly a thing. Redneck or stripper z...

Transformers  photo

Transformers is getting an animated yeah

Sep 18
// Nick Valdez
Remember when we told you about Paramount's Transformers think tank of writers (which included the likes of Robert Kirkman, Akiva Goldsman, and Iron Man writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway among several others)? Well, here's...
Allegiant Trailer photo
Allegiant Trailer

First trailer for The Divergent Series: Allegiant exists

Sep 16
// Nick Valdez
The worst criticism I can give a film (which my roommate hates) is when I say a film just "exists." By that, I usually mean the film isn't good or bad enough to warrant an actual opinion. Through my tenure here I've been expo...
Mockingjay Part 2 Trailer photo
Mockingjay Part 2 Trailer

Newest Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 trailer is astoundingly bad

Sep 16
// Nick Valdez
I've been looking forward to the final Hunger Games film since I liked Mockingjay - Part 1 more so than everyone else, apparently. The second half of Mockingjay (before its terrible ending) is much better than the first, but ...
Jungle Book Teaser photo
Jungle Book Teaser

First trailer for Disney's live action The Jungle Book

Sep 16
// Nick Valdez
While I've been wary of Disney's current affinity for live action takes on their classic animated movies, I have to admit this looks pretty neat. Based more off of Rudyard Kipling's novel than the animated original, the Jon F...

Fear the Walking Dead Season 1 Recap: "The Dog"

Sep 14 // Nick Valdez
At the end of last episode, Travis, his ex-wife and son ended up in the care of the Salazar family. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, depending on how you see it) we don't get to explore this time long as this episode begins with all of them having to leave. It's a well storyboarded scene as the two families make their way through the riots and the shots are appropriately hectic. There's even a zombie attack amidst the chaos, and it's so frantic you can actually feel the two families trying to make sense of it all. While they were running, the chaos leads to Griselda Salazar getting hurt and the Salazar's decide to stay with Travis while talking of "debts" and the like. This also is one of the reasons I'm starting to hate Cliff Curtis' Travis as a character. The fact he doesn't suggest taking in the Salazars after they helped him is pretty petty. Also, I'm not really sure what to think of the Salazar family yet. It's pretty neat that a Latino family is at the forefront of one of these shows, but I don't like how typical they've become.  Ruben Blades' Daniel is headstrong and stuck in this standard Latino ideology that one doesn't do something without owing something in return. I'm not exactly confident that the series can explore it well, but it's at least some sort of characterization. I just hope he branches out from the typical image he's given right now. It seems so since he judges Travis as weak. And as much as Madison has annoyed me in previous episodes, her arc has been the most compelling thus far (and I thought the drug addict Nick would provide more entertainment). As The Walking Dead deals with people surviving in the apocalypse, Fear wants to watch how these people will slowly change. And if Fear is smart, it'll only focus on that stuff. As much as I love watching failing societies, I love watching people crumble under it. As Madison realizes that, illness or not, these dead people are still dangerous, she just might the decision to be active.  That's the overall direction this season: activity vs. inactivity. Characters bicker as to whether or not they need to find a better shelter, Travis refuses to actually put down a zombie (which might lead to a well deserved death) and accept the world is ending, Madison is just trying to keep her family together, Daniel wants to stay and take care of his family while the others march to their deaths, Nick has to decide whether or not to pursue drugs, Alycia finds out more and more about the new world, parts of the city are rioting while the suburban area seems to live life as usual, and all of this is just fantastic...until the ending.  You see, Fear the Walking Dead throws all of this away and introduces the military as they come in and literally save the day. I don't know where any of this is going, but it put a literal stop to all of the forward momentum the episode had going for it. I've had enough of these crooked military stories.  Final Thoughts:  When you find out why this episode is titled "The Dog," you'll be as sad as I was.  Travis somehow thinks the zombies are sick even after watching one get run over multiple times a few episodes ago. I just don't get it. Also he's staunchly opposed to guns. Either the show's setting up for a big downfall or his character's going to go through one of those "dark turns."  The same person has directed the three episodes so far, that's probably why there's a welcome feeling of consistency.  You're probably wondering why the episode took a few seconds to focus on a plane flying over, but someone on that plane will be joining season 2. AMC's planning some mini-episode detailing all of that. 
FTWD Recap photo
A dog eat dog world
I stand by what I said last time and believe the Labor Day week off was definitely a death knell for Fear the Walking Dead. Though it needs to finish its six episode season before The Walking Dead premieres next month, it did...

King Kong vs. Godzilla photo
King Kong vs. Godzilla

Godzilla and King Kong to fight again for Legendary and Warner Bros

"I'm a motherf**king monster"
Sep 11
// Nick Valdez
Don't you love when companies get along? According to Deadline, Legendary Pictures (which parted ways with Warner Bros and moved to Universal last year) has moved their in progress, Kong: Skull Island to Warner Bros (from Uni...
Steven Universe photo
Steven Universe

Steven Universe's extended opening theme is the best

Watch it already!
Sep 10
// Nick Valdez
Over the last year, Steven Universe has blown up to magnificent proportions on Cartoon Network. It was confident enough in its long game to build a literal "universe" of well rounded characters, strong and more adult themes (...
Girl Up and Die photo
Girl Up and Die

First trailer for girl powered horror series Girl Up and Die

Such a good title
Sep 10
// Nick Valdez
Despite best efforts, the horror genre is dominated by testosterone. Reboot after reboot, sequel, after sequel, we get the same kinds of stories told by the same kinds of dudes. Thankfully, the good folks at Unfriendly Produc...
Krampus Trailer photo
Krampus Trailer

First trailer for Christmas horror film Krampus

Sep 09
// Nick Valdez
I'm not sure what the reason is, but we're suddenly getting a whole lot of Krampus films. There's Kevin Smith's Krampus project, a few direct to VOD films, that one episode of American Dad two seasons ago, and now we've got K...
Flash Season 2 Teaser photo
Flash Season 2 Teaser

The Flash season 2 teaser reveals multiple worlds and Flashes

Sep 09
// Nick Valdez
I may not enjoy The CW's Arrow, but I'm a pretty big fan of The Flash. It's fun, light, it's got Tom Cavanagh (who really hasn't got the due time he deserves) and it somehow gets away with so much comic book nonsense. By the ...

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