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WTF

"Where's its scrotum?!"

These Inside Llewyn Davis trading cards are kind of the best


Get em all, support Planned Parenthood*
Dec 07
// Hubert Vigilla
The Coen brothers' Inside Llewyn Davis is one of the great, unsung movies of 2013. It's bitter, brilliant, and ignored, which is sort of like its title character, come to think of it. I often think of the movie fondly and sad...
Kodoku Meatball Machine photo
Kodoku Meatball Machine

The trailer for Kodoku: Meatball Machine is blood-soaked and absolutely bonkers (NSFW)


Content and title are a perfect match
Dec 06
// Hubert Vigilla
If GWAR in its classic form decided to remake Tetsuo: The Iron Man, it might look like Yoshihiro Nishimura's Kodoku: Meatball Machine. That is all I can really say. There are no words. Just feelings. Strange, strange feelings. Seriously, watch this f**king trailer, dudes. Note: There is a lot of blood and some (maybe fake?) nudity.
Mad Shelia photo
Mad Shelia

Witness the trailer and poster for Mad Shelia, a Chinese Mad Max rip-off


MEDIOCRE!
Nov 28
// Hubert Vigilla
Mad Max: Fury Road is one of the best action movies of the 21st century, and was one of the best movies of 2015 by far. We were bound to see some movies trying to capitalize on the look, feel, and stuntwork of George Miller's...
Yoda Bad Lip Reading photo
Yoda Bad Lip Reading

Yoda sings a song about seagulls in this Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back


Laughing off my ass, I did
Nov 27
// Hubert Vigilla
A break from posting during Thanksgiving, Flixist has taken. But fear not. Return we will with news and reviews in the final weeks of 2016. A very crummy year, 2016 was. The dark side of the Force is powerful, but balance res...

BHFF Review: We Are the Flesh

Oct 13 // Hubert Vigilla
TRAILER IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK (NSFW) [embed]220963:43146:0[/embed] We Are the Flesh (Tenemos le carne)Director: Emiliano Rocha MinterRating: TBDRelease Date: TBDCountry: Mexico  We Are the Flesh reminds me of early Clive Barker splatterpunk stories; one scene in thermal vision even recalls Barker's little-seen short film The Forbidden. There's also a hint of Shinya Tsukamoto's Tetsuo: The Iron Man, though it's shorn of the technological madness and kinetic stuff--this transgression is luridly organic. Maybe Tetsuo by way of Gaspar Noe, with occasional outbursts of hysterical excess straight out of Andrzej Zulawski (Possession). The film also has some moist, mucus-rich makeup effects that wouldn't be out of place in a Brian Yuzna movie (Society, From Beyond). This paragraph is either a warning or a recommendation--if you want blood, you got it. There's a man with a demonic smile (Noe Hernandez) who lives in an abandoned building. He gets high on homemade gasoline and gets off on solitude. A boy (Diego Gamaliel) and a girl (Maria Evoli), siblings, enter his building. They're desperately in search of food and shelter. The man lets them stay as long as they help him construct a claustrophobic landscape within the building. Think of something like a cave and a uterus complete with a pseudo birth canal; a psychoanalytic hellscape where the id can thrive. All the while, the man tries to coerce the boy and the girl to break social, sexual, and interpersonal taboos. Minter builds up dread through whispers and shouts as he mounts transgressions upon each other. There's incest, rape, murder, cannibalism, on-camera sex, and necrophilia, and even now I can't say what it all adds up to. We Are the Flesh may not add up to anything, to be honest. Even though Hernandez and Evoli give the film their all--Evoli in particular goes for psychotic broke--the movie may just be images and noise with the intent to shock. I think there's a political allegory about Mexico and poverty, that a lack of means reduces us to some base state of nature in which social mores no longer matter. But it's a bit of a guess. It might be a stretch. Sometimes extreme cinema is just extreme cinema, but I can't help but sense something more meaningful behind all of this given how repulsed yet affected I felt. When someone lets out a blood-curdling scream, there has to be a reason, right? Maybe? Or was it just the desire to scream? This struggle for meaning is probably an intentional provocation from Minter. When confronted with something shocking, I usually feel challenged to interpret it. Yet Minter evades overt meaning making. There seems to be 10 minutes missing from the final act of the 80-minute film. Several events take place off camera unexplained, and it leads to total narrative disorientation. We Are the Flesh was a feverish nightmare already, and then that skimpy dream logic breaks down completely. No order, not for this this movie. What Minter provides is a sustained sense of unease, however. That feeling remained with me even after a less than satisfying conclusion. Even if We Are the Flesh only prompts exasperation and disgust, it's such a strange trip into the abyss I want to send others down there into the dark who are willing. Minter, like or hate it, is a Mexican filmmaker to watch. I'm reminded of something Clive Barker said about movies once (paraphrased): I want to feel something, even if it's just disgust; better that than thinking, okay, let's go for a pizza. After We Are the Flesh, pizza was the last thing I wanted.
Review: We Are the Flesh photo
The ecstasy of pure id
Reviewing We Are the Flesh from writer/director Emiliano Rocha Minter is tricky. On the one hand, it's a deeply flawed film aimed at a limited audience. It's transgressive in the extreme, sexually explicit bordering on pornog...

Lee, Stan Lee photo
Lee, Stan Lee

Fox making James Bond-style action movie about comics legend Stan Lee


Excelsior, not stirred
Sep 14
// Hubert Vigilla
Fox has acquired the life rights of Marvel Comics writer Stan Lee. The studio is planning to make a fictionalized period action-adventure film about Lee's life in the style of a Roger Moore James Bond film and Kingsman: The S...
Christ 2: On the Move photo
Christ 2: On the Move

Mel Gibson working on Passion of the Christ sequel titled The Resurrection


Ecclesiastic Boogaloo
Sep 01
// Hubert Vigilla
Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ might be the last movie that springs to mind when I hear the word "sequel", but it appears that a sequel to the controversial 2004 film is in the works. Titled The Resurrection, the film wil...
Nerds are the worst photo
Nerds are the worst

Sad nerds start petition to shut down Rotten Tomatoes over bad Suicide Squad reviews


Your desire for validation is childish
Aug 03
// Hubert Vigilla
Suicide Squad comes out on Friday, and the early reviews for the film are not so kind. The movie currently has a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. Some insecure nerds who seek validation in all aspects of their lives are angry about th...
The Tick reboot photo
The Tick reboot

Here's an underwhelming first look at Amazon's The Tick reboot


SPOOOO--whoa, what?
Jul 21
// Hubert Vigilla
When we reported about Amazon's reboot of The Tick a few months ago, we learned that the reboot would be "darker and more grounded," which is exactly what people wanted from a parody of superheroes. Now we have our first look at this darker and more grounded version of The Tick and it's thoroughly underwhelming. Just take a look at the new costume:

Watch Hardy vs. Hardy: The Final Deletion (aka wrestling meets Tommy Wiseau's The Room)

Jul 10 // Hubert Vigilla
[embed]220650:42981:0[/embed] Guys, that aired on TV somehow. (Given, it was on Pop TV, but still.) Let's get something straight: this was not a good match, it was not a good promo, and it wasn't even that good a wrastlin' short film. And yet there's something about it that's almost badgood. I found it watchable because I couldn't look away. Hardy v Hardy: Dawn of Dilapidated Boat is a sort of minor kitsch masterpiece in the vein of bad 80s action movies and earnestly made but ultimately execrable indie films (e.g., The Room, the work of Neil Breen). I don't like it. I don't love it. I don't know. What do you think about this match? Let us know in the comments, and say hi to the doggy. [via YouTube]
Hardy v Hardy v Wiseau photo
It's an extraordinary xylophone, Lisa!
WWE dominates the wrestling world today, though indie and international promotions like Ring of Honor, Lucha Underground, New Japan, and Chikara offer some excellent alternatives. Yet these are relatively niche; even WWE's in...

Fruit Ninja movie photo
Fruit Ninja movie

They're making a Fruit Ninja movie, may God have mercy on us all


All is lost
May 23
// Hubert Vigilla
It was bound to happen. After The Angry Birds Movie came out (and did well at the box office), it would only be a matter of time before other time-waster mobile games were turned into feature films. Enter Fruit Ninja. Yes. Th...
Swiss Army Man photo
Swiss Army Man

The red band Swiss Army Man trailer has Daniel Radcliffe as a farting corpse with a boner


Friendship is magic, farts, boners
May 10
// Hubert Vigilla
The first trailer for Swiss Army Man was a zany delight. Paul Dano is saved from suicide and loneliness by a body washed ashore played by Daniel Radcliffe. Yet he is no mere corpse. Nay, Harry Potter is a magic farting corpse...
Swiss Army Man photo
Swiss Army Man

Swiss Army Man trailer: Watch Daniel Radcliffe play a magical farting corpse


You will believe a corpse can fart
Apr 04
// Hubert Vigilla
Swiss Army Man was one of the most divisive and talked about movies at this year's Sundance Film Festival. The film featured Daniel Radcliffe playing a magical corpse who farts, has a boner, and teaches Paul Dano about the joys of living. Read that sentence again. You want to see the movie as well, don't you? A trailer for Swiss Army Man has just debuted online. Check it out below.
Batman v Superman photo
Batman v Superman

For $8,000, you can buy life-sized Ben Affleck Batman AND Henry Cavill Superman statues


Still no life-sized Michael Shannon
Mar 15
// Hubert Vigilla
Last month we mentioned that you can buy a life-sized armored Batman statue for $8,000. Well, if you have another couple grand laying around near your cabinet full of Fabergé eggs, you can now buy new life-sized statut...
Pacific Rim 2 photo
That was unexpected
Last year we reported that Pacific Rim 2 was delayed indefinitely, part of some industry drama between Legendary Pictures and Universal. Well, looks like kaijus are back on the menu, guys. Pacific Rim 2 is moving forward with...

Life-sized Batman photo
Life-sized Batman

For $8,000, you can buy a life-sized Ben Affleck Batman collectible


Batman: The Real Doll
Feb 07
// Hubert Vigilla
As the hype builds for the March 25th release of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, news came in of a new movie tie-in collectible. If you have ever wanted a 1.95 meter (6'4") statue of Ben Affleck as an armored Batman, it c...
The Witch and satanists photo
The Witch and satanists

The Satanic Temple is holding early screenings of The Witch, which has a new trailer


"I sell shoes!"
Feb 03
// Hubert Vigilla
Ever since hearing about Robert Eggers' The Witch at last year's Sundance Film Festival, I've been waiting eagerly to see it. If you live in New York City, Los Angeles, Austin, or Detroit, you can catch the movie a few days e...
2017 DeLoreans photo
2017 DeLoreans

This is heavy: They're making actual DeLoreans in 2017


Make like a tree and get out
Jan 29
// Hubert Vigilla
With 2015 behind us, you'd think that was the end of weaponized Back to the Future nostalgia. Well, no. Turns out you'll be able to buy a brand new replica DeLorean in 2017. (As noted by /Film's Ethan Anderton, only 9,200 vin...
The Chickening photo
The Chickening

Watch The Chickening, a NSFW and WTF parody of The Shining


What has been seen cannot be unseen
Jan 27
// Hubert Vigilla
Nick DenBoer and Davy Force's The Chickening is a poultry-centric parody of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. I want you to pause a moment, read that sentence again, and then just watch the NSFW video below. That was the Citize...
Of Oz the Wizard photo
Of Oz the Wizard

Watch: The Wizard of Oz re-edited alphabetically (Of Oz the Wizard)


Home Like No Place There's
Jan 08
// Hubert Vigilla
If you are a person of a certain age who has tried certain substances, you've probably synced The Wizard of Oz to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. It lent the movie an added air of weirdness and otherworldliness in the pop...
Star Wars marathon photo
Star Wars marathon

#AlamoJedi: Alamo Drafthouse is having a bonkers Star Wars marathon with prizes


The sarlacc of movie marathons
Dec 07
// Hubert Vigilla
The Force Awakens is just 10 days away, nerds--10 days! You got your tix? You feel the hype flowing through you? Okay, how about a Star Wars marathon? That sound good? Maybe a marathon that includes a chance to win great priz...
The Revenant and bears photo
The Revenant and bears

Fox: The Revenant does not have a scene of a bear raping Leonardo DiCaprio


What is this I don't even...
Dec 02
// Hubert Vigilla
Alejandro González Iñárritu's The Revenant has had a difficult and troubled production described as "a living hell." Over budget and over schedule, making the film sounded like an epic struggle that put t...
72 hours of Shia LaBeouf photo
72 hours of Shia LaBeouf

#AllMyMovies - Shia LaBeouf is watching all of his films for three straight days


But is it art?
Nov 10
// Hubert Vigilla
Shia LaBeouf's creative endeavors outside of acting have been pretty strange. There was a public art show rife with self-loathing and even a sexual assault, a short film that borrowed heavily from Daniel Clowes, and a video f...
Goonies Sleep No More? photo
Goonies Sleep No More?

The Goonies will become an immersive theater experience kind of like Sleep No More


Truffle, shuffle, toil, and trouble
Sep 04
// Hubert Vigilla
Have you ever wanted to The Goonies to be a totally immersive theater experience? No? Gosh. Well, doesn't matter, because you may get it anyway. In an interview with Yahoo Movies, Goonies director Richard Donner dropped the f...
Jon Stewart WWE photo
Jon Stewart WWE

Jon Stewart is hosting WWE SummerSlam 2015


"Moment of Zen" is a nice finisher name
Aug 17
// Hubert Vigilla
Many people have wondered what Jon Stewart's first gig would be after his final episode of The Daily Show. We learned earlier tonight. Stewart will be the host of WWE's SummerSlam this weekend in Brooklyn. Yeah. Seriously. I ...
Minas Tirith LOTR photo
Minas Tirith LOTR

There's an Indiegogo campaign to make a life-sized Minas Tirith from Lord of the Rings


60-day goal: $2.9 billion
Aug 14
// Hubert Vigilla
Have you ever wanted to live in Minis Tirith from Lord of the Rings? A city glistening white, carved from a mountain, its great citadel high above the main gate overlooking the fallen capital Osgiliath and the windswept Pelen...
Fantastic Four Tent Drama photo
Fantastic Four Tent Drama

Josh Trank directed parts of Fantastic Four in a tent and even more behind-the-scenes drama


Directorial intent vs. Director-in-tent
Aug 13
// Hubert Vigilla
So Fantastic Four is a dud, as John-Charles noted in his review, one that will lead to a $60 million loss for Fox. There was a lot of behind-the-scenes drama between Fox and director Josh Trank as we noted earl...

We'll finally see Jerry Lewis' infamous Holocaust film The Day the Clown Cried (in 10 years)

Aug 07 // Hubert Vigilla
Yes, it was supposed to be a comedy, albeit a bleak one. In a 1992 article in Spy Magazine, Shearer said of The Day the Clown Cried: With most of these kinds of things, you find that the anticipation, or the concept, is better than the thing itself. But seeing this film was really awe-inspiring, in that you are rarely in the presence of a perfect object. This was a perfect object. This movie is so drastically wrong, its pathos and its comedy are so wildly misplaced, that you could not, in your fantasy of what it might be like, improve on what it really is. "Oh My God!"--that's all you can say. So, we'll eventually get to watch a legendary, unseen oddity, and I am fascinated by the prospect of seeing it. The Day the Clown Cried is one of those movies I've been aware of since the early 2000s, so the fact it's going to eventually see the light of day took me aback, ditto the fact that the print is from Lewis. Share your thoughts on The Day the Clown Cried in the comments [The LA Times via The Playlist]   YOUR OFFICIAL COUNTDOWN CLOCK TO THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED [embed]219740:42533:0[/embed]
The Day the Clown Cried photo
A notorious unseen oddity of a film
The Day the Clown Cried is one of the most infamous movies ever made. Jerry Lewis shot the controversial Holocaust film in 1972 and never released it. The plot concerns a Jewish circus clown in Nazi Germany who is sent to Aus...

Screw You photo
Screw You

Cujo remake has terrible new title


Things that are OK to hate
Jul 07
// Matthew Razak
Ready to bash your head against your keyboard. They're remaking Cujo (no, don't bash yet) and the new film is going to be called C.U.J.O. That stands for Canine Unit Joint Operations (you're good to bash now).&...
Jurassic World box office photo
Jurassic World box office

Jurassic World earned the biggest worldwide box office debut of all time


"That is one big pile of s**t"
Jun 15
// Hubert Vigilla
C's get degrees, and C-grade movies get lots of money. Jurassic World earned an astounding $511.8 million around the world, giving the film the biggest opening global box office of all time. The movie features Chris Pratt all...

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