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Flixist is, ah, under new management, as they say


12:00 AM on 04.01.2012
Flixist is, ah, under new management, as they say photo



Hello there fellow, ah, Flixistentialists. Flixisticians? What exactly do you guys call yourselves? God, this is an awkward name. Anyway, hello, from your new publisher/editor in chief/CEO/head actor, Jeff Goldblum. Yes, you heard. I'm Jeff Goldblum, and as of midnight tonight, Flixist is wholly owned by the Goldblum Publishing Conglomerate. Ours is a simple mission: the best news, for the best people. And that's you. Yes, you. Hello, friend. Allow me to drink you in with my intense, loving eyes. You can be safe here, don't you worry. We know that times have been tough under the old regime, and I, like a great tribal god-king, have come to free you from your shackles.

Today begins the new paradigm for Flixist. You'll notice only a minor change in editorial direction while I'm the editor in chief, but rest assured, you'll still get all the, ah, color commentary you've grown to love from these rapscallion editors.

Thank you. Follow me on the Twitter at FlixistJGoldB, and I look forward to going on this journey with you.






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10:00 PM on 04.01.2012

Interview: Jeff Goldblum

You know, working in the same office as Jeff Goldblum, you learn a few things. He actually does love the peach pie. Jeff is also an avid jazz pianist, and during lunch today, he regaled us with some of his wonderful scatting....

Maxwell Roahrig

5:00 PM on 04.01.2012

Jeff Goldblum replacing Geoff Goldbloom on Earth-2

Starting April 3rd, Jeff Goldblum will replace Geoff Goldbloom, an actor from a parallel world that scientists refer to as "Earth-2." Goldbloom has starred in a number of successful films on Earth-2, including The Fly, Indepe...

Hubert Vigilla

3:00 PM on 04.01.2012

Jeff Goldblum replacing Mike Love of The Beach Boys

On April 3rd, Jeff Goldblum will replace Mike Love of The Beach Boys for the band's upcoming reunion tour. The tour was announced after the reunited group played at this years Grammy's. The shows were intended to celebrate Th...

Hubert Vigilla

2:00 PM on 04.01.2012

Lucas digitally swapping Jar Jar Binks with Jeff Goldblum

Star Wars fans have long bemoaned the horror that is Jar Jar Binks. Strange-looking in 1999, completely dated compared to modern CGI, and ever annoying, he is the symbol for everything wrong with the Star Wars prequels. What'...

Bob Muir

1:00 PM on 04.01.2012

Flixclusive: Jeff Goldblum was going to be The Hulk

In a Flixclusive Interview with the Jurassic Park star, Mr. Jeff Goldblum admitted to being "95% set" to play Bruce Banner/The Hulk in the upcoming summer blockbuster, The Avengers. However, due to details that will be s...

Geoff Henao

12:00 PM on 04.01.2012

Jeff Goldblum replacing Ed Helms on The Office

Starting April 3rd, Jeff Goldblum will replace Ed Helms on NBC's long-running sitcom The Office. Helms's character, Andy Bernard, became manager this season after the departure of Michael Scott (Steve Carell). Goldblum will p...

Hubert Vigilla

10:00 AM on 04.01.2012

Princess Review: Earth Girls Are Easy

You know, uh, Disney princesses are terrible role models. What kind of message is it to tell a girl she should be- ah, royalty? She can’t be royalty. There aren’t many princes for her to, ah, marry. No, she needs ...

Jenika Katz

9:00 AM on 04.01.2012

Jeff Goldblum replacing Alan Rickman on Broadway

Starting April 3rd, Jeff Goldblum will replace Alan Rickman in the Broadway play Seminar. The original cast of this production will have their final performance today at the Golden Theater. Here is a synopsis of the play, whi...

Hubert Vigilla

8:00 AM on 04.01.2012

Rumor: Twins threequel adding Jeff Goldblum to the mix

It seems that the good news just keeps coming. A mere three days after a Twins sequel, cleverly entitled Triplets, was officially announced, featuring modern comedic superstar Eddie Murphy (from such hits as Meet Dave, Norbit...

Alec Kubas-Meyer














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