sequels

Review: The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

May 25 // Sean Walsh
[embed]219487:42404:0[/embed] Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)Director: Tom SixRelease Date: May 22, 2015Rated: Unrated Dieter Laser returns to the franchise he made famous as Bill Boss, racist, sexist, malevolent warden of a prison in the middle of the desert. Laurence R. Harvey, villainous manbaby star of Human Centipede 2, plays his sidekick/prison accountant Dwight Butler. These two men find themselves with a problem on there hands when Governor Hughes (Eric Roberts for some reason) threatens to fire them if they can't fix their crappy prison. Butler suggests to Boss, "Hey, let's make the prisoners into a giant Human Centipede like those two movies." And then they do. That's the whole plot. Were you expecting Kubrick? I don't have a lot to say about this film, to be honest. It's graphically violent, really racist, really sexist, and has little redeeming quality to it beyond Dieter Laser's super over-the-top performance as Bill Boss. It has a premise, and follows it to the end. It was competently made. But it just doesn't have anything going for it beyond that. So instead, let me give you a list of all the messed up/notable stuff that happens in chronological order to sate your curiosity and save you the 102 minutes you won't ever get back. SPOILERS AHEAD. The film starts with the credits of the first two movies, because meta Lots of general hardcore racism and talk of rape Dieter Laser graphically breaks Tom Lister Jr.'s arm Dieter Laser spends most of the movie eating from a jar of dried clitorises he got from Africa (Bree Olson eats one later, not knowing what they are) A man is waterboarded by Laser with three buckets of boiling water and then the washcloth is peeled off the man's boiled face We get to see Dieter Laser loudly climax from oral sex (performed off-camera by former adult film star Bree Olson, the film's sole female character, Laser's secretary/living sex toy) Dieter Laser graphically castrates Robert LaSardo, rubs the blood from the wound all over his face and then later eats the man's balls for lunch (breaded and everything) In a bizarre fantasy sequence, Robert LaSardo shivs a helpless Laser and has sex with the wound Tom Six shows up and gives them permission to use his idea and explains about how he consulted a real doctor about the medical accuracy of making a human centipede  During a screening of the films, Laser tells the prisoners he's going to make them into a human centipede and they riot, which leads to Bree Olson (again, the single female character) being beaten into a coma by Tom Lister Jr. During the surgery segment, Laser inserts his revolver into a man's stoma and shoots him, shoots a disabled man, and decides to attach a man with chronic diarrhea in front of Robert LaSardo Laser has sex with a comatose Bree Olson When Tom Six sees Laser's "special" project (that involves cutting off arms), he vomits on a glass door and exits the film After the 500-person centipede is unveiled, we are shown that the only female character in the film, who spends the entire film being used for sex before being beaten into a coma and raped in her comatose state, is sewn into the centipede for reasons(?) Laser unveils to Governor Eric Roberts his special project, the Human Caterpillar, made from the limbless torsos of the lifetime and death row inmates After Roberts says that Laser and Harvey are insane and will get the chair, Laser shoots the prison doctor, then Roberts comes back and tells them he changed his mind, leaves again, and Laser shoots Harvey so he can take the credit for himself The film ends with a naked Laser screaming nonsense through a megaphone from a guard tower overlooking his centipede as patriotic music swells To say this film is problematic is to put it lightly. It is virulently racist for reasons unknown, treats the single female character as an object to stick male genitalia in (and, again for reasons unknown, throws her into the centipede because why not?), and generally delights in inflicting pain on both its characters and its audience. But you should know what you're getting into where a film's central theme involves people being sewn ass-to-mouth. Like I say in the image above, Human Centipede 3 is indeed 100% the third Human Centipede film. If you like watching racist, cruel men castrate dudes and have sex with women in comas with the titular centipede happening in the background, then boy this film is for YOU! If you liked the first two films, you'll probably like this one. If you're only lukewarm on them, you can probably skip this one. Bottom line: Human Centipede 3 is competently made schlock. Tom Six is an edgy dude with some weird stuff (and quite possibly issues with women) rattling around in his head, but he can make a good-looking movie. Hopefully his next series has more merit. Happy Memorial Day, everybody.
Review: Human Centipede 3 photo
"100% a film that was made"
I did not care for the first Human Centipede. It was a generic torture porn with a couple gimmicks in the centipede itself and the claim of being 100% medically accurate. As a jaded horror fan, I spent most of it yawning (cri...

3rd times the charm photo
3rd times the charm

Now You See Me 3 in development already


How is this a franchise?
May 22
// Matthew Razak
Remember Now You See Me? Sean liked it a lot, but it was pretty much a one trick poney... or so we thought. The sequel, Now You See Me: The Second Act, is something we knew about and were stunned by, but despite it not releas...
Transformers photo
Transformers

Transformers sequels have found their writers, including Robert Kirkman


More than writes the eye
May 21
// Nick Valdez
Remember that weird sounding "writers room" Paramount was trying to set up for Transformers sequels and spin-offs Jackson wrote about some time ago? To make the whole thing weirder, we now know who's a part of it. Seemingly f...
Reacher 2 Director photo
Reacher 2 Director

Jack Reacher 2 may be helmed by Edward Zwick


There's a Jack Reacher 2 still?
May 19
// Matthew Razak
Jack Reacher is a character with a crap ton of books so we all assumed that Paramount was gunning for a franchise when they released the surprisingly retro Jack Reacher, but the numbers for it weren't so great here in the U.S...
Scorch Trials  photo
Scorch Trials

First official trailer for Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials


Smokin'
May 19
// Nick Valdez
Although I don't remember liking The Maze Runner too much, I did appreciate what it did differently from all of the other Young Adult book films floating around. A testosterone riddled film full of run and gun dumb action. It...
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Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson will reteam for Shanghai Dawn


I don't know karate, but I know ka-razy
May 15
// Hubert Vigilla
As Coming Soon noted yesterday, MGM is finally moving forward with Shanghai Dawn, the sequel to Jackie Chan/Owen Wilson films Shanghai Noon (2000) and Shanghai Knights (2003). As Flixist EIC Matthew Razak said in our staff em...
Civil War cast photo
Civil War cast

Captain America: Civil War reveals its huge cast


Hugh Jazz cast
May 07
// Nick Valdez
If you thought Avengers: Age of Ultron had a huge amount of characters, then Civil War is going to blow your mind. With the hugest cast of any Marvel movie so far, we've got newcomers, returning characters, newly revealed cha...
Beverly Hills Cop Delay photo
Beverly Hills Cop Delay

Beverly Hills Cop 4 pulled from Paramount's release schedule


A heh-heh-heh-heh
May 07
// Matthew Razak
Getting Beverly Hills Cop 4 off the ground has been quite the struggle, so much so that it seems to be staying right where it is, which is in development hell. Paramount, which had the film slated for release March 25, 2...
John Wick sequel photo
People keep asking...
People keep asking if I'm back. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm back. We didn't review John Wick here on Flixist (which was a major oversight on my part because I saw it during my vacation that weekend and totally didn't write on it...

TMNT TWO photo
TMNT TWO

Here's our first look at TMNT 2's Casey Jones


And the PIZZA VAN
May 01
// Nick Valdez
I don't think we got around to this news, but joining the first film's cast of lovable giant mutant monsters, Tyler Perry (of all people), and Laura F**king Linney in an undisclosed role is Arrow's Stephen Amell as Casey...
Magic Mike XXL  photo
Magic Mike XXL

These sexy Magic Mike XXL posters are giving me the vapors


Lawd.
May 01
// Nick Valdez
You thought Magic Mike brought all the boys to the yard? Well, we haven't seen anything yet. Starring Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, Kevin Nash (lol), Adam Rodriguez, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and even Donald Glover (...
X-Men: Apocalypse photo
X-Men: Apocalypse

First look at Jubilee and Jean Grey in X-Men: Apocalypse


...and they're fab-u-lous
May 01
// Nick Valdez
Every time I think X-Men: Apocalypse is packed with too many characters (or cameos at this rate), I look at their outfits and oh my jeebus do I change my mind instantly. I couldn't be happier that Apocalypse takes place ...
Jump Street photo
Jump Street

Jump Street to get female led spin-off and Men in Black crossover


We really are getting to 43 Jump Street aren't we?
Apr 30
// Nick Valdez
Sony's really putting all of their eggs in one basket. Banking on the few films that work, Sony's slowing turning all of their properties (and future properties) into huge universes. Starting with Spider-Man, continuing on wi...

Review: Avengers: Age of Ultron

Apr 30 // Matthew Razak
[embed]219375:42359:0[/embed] Avengers: Age of UltronDirector: Joss WhedonRelease Date: May 1, 2015Rated: PG-13  Have you been keeping up with the Marvel Cinematic Universe? It doesn't especially matter. Even the world shattering destruction of S.H.I.E.L.D. in Captain America: Winter Soldier doesn't seem to have changed much for our rag-tag team of superheroes. They're still a team backed by some sort of funding and they're still chasing after Loki's scepter in order to return it to Thor's people. This task is accomplished early on in the film after a fantastic action sequence (they're all fantastic) and the Avengers return home to have a party. But before that Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) and Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) decide to use the technology in Loki's scepter to create an A.I. that can protect the world. Of course, as with all well-intentioned A.I., it quickly realizes the best way to protect the world is to destroy humanity or in this case evolve it. Building itself a body after being mysteriously activated, Ultron (James Spader) emerges, promptly kicks everyone's ass and then flies off to recruit the Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) and Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) to his evil plan. Imbued with Stark's sarcasm and programmed to save humanity he decides to create the next evolution of man, a hybrid of machine and bio material, and force everyone else to evolve as well by holding the world hostage or else he'll blow it up. Avengers assemble... again. The biggest issue with Age of Ultron is that it's just the first film with more characters. The plot is almost identical. A big bad guy shows up and the team argues over how to handle it showing fractures. Then, in the end, they come together. It's not a bad plot, and it could have worked again, but the film is incredibly poorly paced. Ultron is rushed out the door thanks to an uncharacteristic lack of foreshadowing for Marvel and then we're carried along from action sequence to action sequence with sparse emotional build. By the time the final showdown occurs you've been on high so long that the big payoff barely pays off. Sadly, Age of Ultron isn't a very good MCU universe builder and it's because it can't do everything it wants. In a perfect world Marvel wouldn't have wasted Iron Man 3 on a side story or at least have hinted at the creation of Ultron thus giving Spader's villain far more time to grow.  Ultron is sadly not given that time. Spader is fantastically evil and arrogant as the crazed robot, but he isn't given enough time to shine, eventually being relegated to bad one-liners as he yells at the Avengers. His opening speech is a fantastic monologue and his concluding dialog is sadly touching, but in between there's far too little of him to develop a truly compelling villain.  The three new additions to the team, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and Vision (Paul Bettany), face much the same fate as Ultron. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are hurried into the proceedings, though we did get a hint at them previously, but by the end their story arch is actually far better executed. Again, the pacing of it is off, but the eventual payoff works. Vision on the other hand comes along late in the film, which is too bad because the contradictions between him and Ultron are some of the best themes of the film. There's so much to dig into there, but thanks to how the plot unfolds we get almost none of it. Even more of a let down is that just who and what Vision is is rushed through. A brief explanation of powers would have helped before he started shooting beams of light out of his forehead and shoving his fists through robots.  Ultron does do some of it's characters right. Banner/Hulk is once again front and center, which is fantastic since he's so great, but he also causes some of the pacing problems. The lack of ability for Marvel to have stand-alone Hulk films means they have to cram all his character development in Avengers movies. It's great to watch, but it makes the movie a mess. The Hulk Buster scene everyone has been going crazy over seeing is really great and fantastically executed, but in terms of pacing the entire scene could have been cut for something else if it had appeared in another film. Still, this is the world we live in (or Marvel puts us in) and they do great things with Hulk. Ruffalo once again steals the show as Banner.  Then he gets the show stolen from him by the most unlikely source: Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner). Long accused of being damned near useless, Ultron turns him into a character and it's here where the film shines. When the movie isn't rushing to get its characters where they need to be, it shows us who they need to be. Just as in the best comics this is what makes superheroes shine. Renner's Hawkeye becomes the grounding force of a team of gods. It's a fantastic turn for a character most deemed useless and not only delivers Hawkeye as a great character, but eventually makes the development of the characters around him better. It would be possible to devote entire reviews to each hero in this film. That's the power of having multiple franchises collide. If you compared all these reviews of different characters you'd have wildly different outcomes. Maybe that's just the nature of the game when you've got a big team movie like this, but it's still annoying. Iron Man is sadly never given the hard edge he needs because they want to keep him a good guy (despite what we all know is coming in Civil War), Captain America is shuffled to the side and Thor is almost entirely ignored except to give exposition that helps tie this all into Thanos and the upcoming Infinity Wars. It's a mixed bag, and depending on what you're looking for you're either going to be wonderfully excited or disappointed.  What you won't be disappointed in is any of the action, which is good since it takes up most of the movie. Despite the fact that the film is always on high, those highs are very high. Whedon shows once again that he can masterfully handle complex action sequences, and delivers an incredible panning shot near the end that almost makes up for every flaw in the film. The action is rock solid and brilliantly cohesive. It's not easy weaving together set pieces with a team of this size, but Whedon does it and then does it again and again. It's unfortunate the movie's plotting doesn't build the tension as well as it should or these action sequences would be even more of a pay off.  By the end of the film we're clearly set up to roll into the next phase of Marvel's MCU, but it feels like they forced it to get there. Evidently, Whedon's original cut was 3.5 hours long, and it's easy to see why. There's just too much here to pull off in the time allotted. Whedon does his best, but in the end we're left with a big, fun, sometimes functional mess. It's one you're going to want to see because when it shines, it shines bright, but Avengers: Age of Ultron is just a little worrying that the universe is already buckling under its own weight. 
Ultron Review photo
Avengers disassembled
This review will most likely be overly critical, as I think many reviews of Avengers: Age of Ultron are going to be. It's a good, solid, action-filled comic book movie, and five years ago it may have had me giddy with ex...

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Maika Monroe joins Independence Day 2


From independent horror to independent days
Apr 28
// Per Morten Mjolkeraaen
Maika Monroe, who impressed immensely in The Guest and It Follows, has been cast as the female lead in Independence Day 2.  It's a huge leap for the Californian actress, who's made a name for herself as a millennial scre...
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50 Shades of Grey sequels land release dates


It can't get worse, right?
Apr 24
// Matthew Razak
We did not like 50 Shades of Grey, but sadly our entirely correct opinion of the film didn't mean it flopped. It instead went on to make a lot of money and so the sequels are a go. Variety reports that the series will stick w...
Le-go photo
Le-go

Next couple of LEGO movies get new release dates


Apr 22
// Nick Valdez
If you were hankerin' for more LEGO movies, we're getting a huge chunk of them all at once. Since WB's first big animated effort (for its smaller affiliate group), The LEGO Movie, did so well in theaters, we're not only getti...
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Bull Pullman and Judd Hirsch returning for Independence Day sequel


Today is our Independence Day... again!
Apr 20
// Matthew Razak
The man who delivered the greatest presidential speech in the history of cinema is returning to the franchise he delivered it in. Bill Pullman will be coming back for the Independence Day sequel and joining him is Judd Hirsch...
BvS photo
BvS

These Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice posters are badass


Apr 20
// Nick Valdez
So what did you think of that first trailer? The majority seems to swing toward apathy, but I really dug it. It looks a bit weird, more sterile than anything, but I'm hoping that'll ease up during the year. If the film can ca...
Actual BvS Trailer photo
Just kiss already
Thanks to the leak a few days ago, WB was forced to reveal their hand early before their big planned event in theaters. Everyone has opinions about this, and most of the Flixist staff here really didn't like its overtly dark...

Mad Max Trailer photo
Mad Max Trailer

Newest Mad Max: Fury Road trailer has all the furious roads


Apr 17
// Nick Valdez
Do you need any more convincing? At this point, you're either as hyped as I am for the next Mad Max or you're super uncool. But if you needed just one more trailer, than the latest one featuring footage of the old films will do just the trick. Mad Max: Fury Road opens May 15th.
Joe Deertay photo
Joe Deertay

Here's the first teaser trailer for Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser


Apr 15
// Nick Valdez
Despite all of my better judgement, and how many times I've reviewed terrible comedy sequels made years later, I'm actually looking forward to Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser. The first one holds a lot of memories for me as I go...
Terminator 5 photo
Terminator 5

Newest Terminator: Genisys trailer sure has a lot of spoilers


Seriously, so many
Apr 14
// Nick Valdez
While I've been all for Terminator: Genisys' kitchen sink approach in rebooting the series, maybe I've spoken too soon. Whoever's marketing the film just went and completely spoiled the film's big twist for the film's second...
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This Avengers: Age of Ultron TV spot busts up the joint


Apr 13
// Nick Valdez
I sat through most of the MTV Movie Awards this year. Every year there's a big trailer reveal or something to look forward to, and that's why I'll sit through it for you guys, but this year was a whole lot of nothin' in term...
X-Men: Apocalypse photo
X-Men: Apocalypse

Angel joins the already jampacked X-Men: Age of Apocalypse


Apr 10
// Nick Valdez
X-Men: Apocalypse, the set in the 80s sequel to Days of Future Past, seems like it's adding new mutants every day. We missed the last one, Jubilee, and we're here to remedy that with Bryan Singer's latest announcement that An...
2inister photo
2inister

First Sinister 2 trailer is, well, sinister


2 Fast 2 Sinisterious
Apr 10
// Nick Valdez
Sometimes I feel like a cynical jerk with the tone I take on most of these articles, but it's very hard not to be a cold hearted movie critic guy person when I have to tell you about so many sequels, remakes, re-imaginings, ...
Avengers: AOU photo
Avengers: AOU

Here's our first good look at Vision in Avengers: Age of Ultron


Apr 09
// Nick Valdez
Though Paul Bettany's Vision (the humanized form of Tony Stark's JARVIS A.I.) has been teased in past trailers, and shoved off to the side in the posters, we've yet to get a good look at the character. Thanks to a range of En...
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The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) trailer has a whole lot of mouths (and butts) to feed


Behold a long series of vile exchanges between inmates and outmates
Apr 09
// Hubert Vigilla
Yesterday we brought you the official plot synopsis for Human Centipede Part 3 (Final Sequence), which promises to be a nuanced exploration of the challenges facing the US prison system. Today, we have the first trailer for ...
Human Centipede photo
Human Centipede

Human Centipede 3 gets release date and plot synopsis


Apr 08
// Nick Valdez
When the first Human Centipede, a terrible experiment of a film that gave us new levels of disgusting, released, who would've guessed we'd be talking about a third film five years later? No one. No one could've possibly guess...
Avengers: AOU photo
Avengers: AOU

Joss Whedon says Avengers: Age of Ultron won't have a post-credits scene


Apr 08
// Nick Valdez
With many rumors and news floating around, it's hard to gauge what's real and what's false with these Marvel films. But I'm very inclined to believe the director of one of the films himself. Speaking with Entertainment Weekly...
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Fake 22 Jump Street posters are canon in 23 Jump Street


We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.
Apr 07
// Matthew Razak
The Jump Street films (21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street) are some of the funniest modern comedies you can watch. Fantastic send ups of the film industry with some of the best comic timing you're going to see this s...
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The estate of Bruce Lee doesn't want him in Ip Man 3


The CG Bruce Lee is now unlikely
Apr 02
// Hubert Vigilla
Just last week we reported that production on Ip Man 3 is underway, featuring Mike Tyson and a CG Bruce Lee. While Iron Mike is a lock, it seems that the Donnie Yen sequel has hit a snag with CG Bruce Lee (aka Marshall Law fr...
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Helen Mirren wants to be in Fast and the Furious 8


Seriously, guys--it would be kind of awesome
Mar 31
// Hubert Vigilla
Helen Mirren is a lot of things: an Academy Award-winning actress, an august stage performer, an eternally beautiful woman, the granddaughter of a Russian colonel and diplomat, a five-time WCW World Television Champion, and w...
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Super Troopers reaches crowdfunding goal


Broken Lizard raise a full 2 mil in less than 24 hours
Mar 26
// Jackson Tyler
It's been a long time coming, but thanks to the magical device known as the internet, Super Troopers 2 is actually going to be made! Now, I've never seen Super Troopers, so please don't all rush at me with sticks, but I ...
Zoolander 2  photo
Zoolander 2

These Zoolander 2 images are so hot right now


Mar 25
// Nick Valdez
I know comedy sequels aren't the greatest (I've reviewed far too many of them to count), but I can't help but be blindly excited for Zoolander 2. I'm sure it's going to do the things I always criticize like relying on the sam...
X-Law photo
X-Law

Jennifer Lawrence leaving X-Men after Apocalypse


More like Ex-in-Law
Mar 25
// Nick Valdez
Now that Jennifer Lawrence is a huge Hollywood star, she's ready to leave her more embarrassing roles behind. Haha, no I'm sure that's not the case. With heavy hitters like Oscar Isaac joining the cast of the next X-Men seque...
Lex Bluth-or photo
Lex Bluth-or

First look at Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice


Mar 25
// Nick Valdez
He sure looks bald. The skinhead look isn't doing him any favors.  Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice apparently releases March next year. [via EW]
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Ip Man 3 will feature Mike Tyson and a CG Bruce Lee


So... will this Donnie Yen sequel be partial schlock or total schlock?
Mar 24
// Hubert Vigilla
Ip Man 3 (or Ip Man 3D) has been in the works for a while, but the Donnie Yen sequel started shooting today in Shanghai. With the start of production comes news of some really bizarre stunt casting. According to The Hollywood...
Avengers 3/4 photo
Avengers 3/4

Russo Bros apparently directing both Avengers: Infinity War films


So much warses
Mar 24
// Nick Valdez
With Avengers: Age of Ultron only a month away, it's time to care about the films we'll be getting forever away from now! According to Badass Digest, who has gotten the info from an un-identified source so take it with some s...
Captain America 3 photo
Captain America 3

Captain America: Civil War gets a synopsis


Mar 23
// Nick Valdez
With Avengers: Age of Ultron releasing soon, it's time to look toward future hype regardless of whether or not that sequel succeeds. I mean, it's going to financially succeed but it might stink worse than two skunks in a dirt...






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