I have braved the 49 second teaser trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (or rather, TWSBDP2) to present to you these very super-official important bullet points about the film that is going to change the rest of our lives FOREVER:
- Bella discovered an ancient tacky ring that grants her superpowers. - Bella has a really bad eye infection and should see an ophthalmologist immediately. - Bella really wants to f*ck a deer. - Lionsgate will make a buttload of money and civilization as we know it will be worse for it.