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Andrew Kauz
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After the Credits: Fade out

I should probably say something about the image above, but I won't. Because cake balls. So, with cake balls and Jennifer Lawrence's adorable silliness, I bid you farewell. This is going to be my last post for Flixist. Not going to bore you ...

 
 
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After the Credits: Bed anywhere

I someday hope to develop the special ability to make any place into the most comfortable bed ever. So far I have bed and 7:00am metro train. I'm working on it. Work on these posts with your eyes. And then go sleep on a dryer.

 
 
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After the Credits: Bloom

The nation's capital is in a panic tonight over fears that - yes - the cherry blossoms are going to reach full bloom this week. But they're early! This ruins everything! If you ask me, it's time for a nice walk by the water. Looks inviting,...

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: Derpcat

I have constructed for you the derpiest cat you will ever know. Enjoy. Clearly, 21 Jump Street was going to win this weekend, and win it did. Casa De Mi Padre actually landed on the list as well, sandwiched between a couple of movies that h...

 
 
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After the Credits: Wharrgarbl

Sometimes, there is only wharrgarbl. This is one of those times. Enjoy some sweet wharrgarbl (and learn to spell wharrgarbl properly after about twenty tries) after the break.

 
 
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Bloggers Wanted: The award goes to

Award shows are obnoxious. We all know that. Awards themselves, though, can be their very own source of annoyance. Sure, you can be that annoying guy who goes, "OMG I don't agree with some of the winners so the awards are crap!" Or you can ...

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: Top Gun

Top Gun is the greatest movie ever made. See how much money Top Gun should have made this weekend by viewing the ridiculous amount of money that The Lorax movie made. Also, apparently high-profile awards made people want to see The Artist. ...

 
 
 
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After the Credits: Angelina's dog

I had to explain to someone tonight why I was creating the above header image. I didn't do a very good job, especially when it came to the part where I had to justify spending so much time trying to make the bun look pale. It was Monday, an...

 
 
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Bloggers Wanted: This is the place

I groan a little bit whenever I hear someone say that a set or location in a film is just like another character. That said, sometimes it's true. Sometimes, the setting or the world of a movie is the best part - or the only good part. So fo...

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: The Oscars

I'm currently writing this post while watching the Oscars and participating in our liveblog. Hope you were there! If not, it was basically just us making fun of Billy Crystal. Oh yeah, people went to see movies this weekend I guess. *looks ...

 
 
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After the Credits: Kim Dog Un

...how? They have a rapid-fire rifle that fires hot dogs? We're all doomed. The recapping is sweet, and it has come for you. Will you answer its call?

 
 
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After the Credits: Sonk Foss

Apparently tonight my brain decided to recall all of the viral images of, like, five years ago. First, there was Woll Smoth, who is awesome. Then there was Sink Face, which is awesome as evidenced above. Then there was Sonk Foss, which is e...

 
 
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After the Credits: Sex robot

Can anyone point me in the direction of a place that will sell me one of these? Preferably new, but will accept used. Dance with the recap.

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: What a week

So apparently no one wanted to see anything that came out last week. Ghost Rider took third behind two old ass movies, and Arrietty? Ninth. I'm none too pleased with that one, world. None too pleased at all. Have a glance at all the money-m...

 
 
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After the Credits: Unicorning

Remember planking? Remember horsemaning? Those are the worst. Unicorning is the cool thing. What is unicorning? Good question. Honestly, I don't know. Maybe it's putting horns on everyday objects. Maybe it's turning yourself into a unicorn ...

 
 
 
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Flixist Awards 2011: Most Underrated Film

There were a lot of pretty good films that came out in 2011. Pretty good is a distinction that most films don't really want - no one sets out to make a film that people will shrug and hesitantly admit to enjoying. Yet, many movies fall unde...

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: The meow

Sadly, this post will not be about cats. Well, not entirely about cats. It will mostly be about The Vow, which to my knowledge isn't about cats but which could, like most things, be improved by being about cats. Verified fact. It was actual...

 
 
 
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After the Credits: I can't even

This is the most adorable thing you'll see all week. And yes, I'm going to ruin it with a hot dog. See the stories from this mid-week recap below.

 
 
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After the Credits: Singing to a dog

I'll never hide the degree to which I love modern RHCP, and this video is exactly why. Couple their inherent weirdness with a catchy yet musically immaculate song and you've got, well, you've got singing to a dog. Singing to dogs makes the...

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: Narnia

Is it sad that The Chronicles of Narnia have ruined the word Chronicle for me permanently? No matter what the context, I see that word and think of the Jesus Lion Aslan and bratty British children.  Why am I talking about this? Well, t...

 
 
 
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After the Credits: February summer

I know that talking about the weather on a movie blog is the equivalent of fashioning a pickup line about, well, the weather, but I have to comment on the fact that it was like 70 degrees today. In February. In WASHINGTON DC. There's nothin...

 
 
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After the Credits: Ferris Dogler

I bet no one would be complaining about the Ferris Bueller ad if it were Ryan Hotdogosling driving around in a Honda CRV and doing things that Ryan Hotdogosling does. Delicious recapped posts are on a silver platter for your consumption bel...

 
 
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Bloggers Wanted: A musing dream

We already know a great deal about what we'll see in 2012. Sure, there are certain to be many surprises before the year is out, but we've all begun making our lists of our most anticipated films of the year. So for this month's topic, I'd l...

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: The yay

Yay! A really good movie made a lot of money and gave me an opportunity to write a stupid headline! Yay! Seriously, though, Razak and Katz both really liked The Grey, and I'm thrilled that it landed at number one. The rest of the results do...

 
 
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After the Credits: Bumbusters

Tonight I met the man who owns the domain www.bumbusters.com. While he hasn't yet done anything with it, he imagines it as a web portal for bum busters. You might be surprised to learn that a bum buster is a person who busts bums. And by th...

 
 
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After the Credits: Catbee

Beef in boots and a beefy bison. More Sundance and things happened since the last recap, so check it all out now, then buy some knee-high boots.

 
 
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After the Credits: GOD OF DOGS

LONGEST RECAP EVER. Also, in case you aren't among the robots who follow me on Twitter, new rule: I will photoshop at least one hot dog into every image I post on Flixist. Find them all.

 
 
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Box Office Numbers: Underwhelmed

Congratulations, America. Underworld is your number one movie. Yes, we've once again proven that vampires and recycled nonsense pulls us into the theater like nothing else. Was this a weekend with nothing but high-quality, widely appealing ...

 
 
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Review: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

The very idea of a 9/11 movie is still unsettling and, frankly, unappealing. No one is going to wander up to a ticket window and wonder, "Maybe there's a nice 9/11 movie out." Even I, who was safe in New Mexico with nearly everyone I knew, ...

 
 
 
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Box Office Numbers: I knew it

Despite its being terrible, Contraband snored its way to the top spot at the box office over the weekend, which brings me to the conclusion that people just really want to see light-haired Kate Beckinsale. I mean, that's the logical deducti...

 
 
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Review: Contraband

Have you even wished that you could go back to a state of cinematic infancy? By that I refer to a tabula rasa of film knowledge, an entirely blank slate. You've never seen a movie before, you've never experienced a single action scene, and ...

 
 
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Watch a live Q&A with Angelina Jolie!

Beginning at 8:00 p.m. EST, FilmDistrict will be presenting a live Q&A with Angelina Jolie that will be hosted right here on Flixist. Jolie will be answering your questions about her upcoming film, In The Land of Blood and Honey, and yo...

 
 
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After the Credits: BaconFort

Pictured is Fort Wadsworth, Battery Bacon and the future Flixist Headquarters. On an unrelated note, Rango is really good. You know, just in case you didn't know. Yesterday was Wednesday, and a lot happened since our last recap, including a...

 
 
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The Ultimate Guide to Everything Flixist

Flixist was born on October 15th, 2010. As of this writing, that's a year and some change, and in that time, we have seen a lot. Our early adopters will remember seeing our friend and nemesis Tommy Raptor more than often enough, and I speak...

 
 
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After the Credits: Not so literal

Being literal can be good. Being too literal is dangerous. Did you have a nice weekend? I sure did. Mr. Matt Razak and I attended the wonderful Magfest X, a music and games festival where the A most definitely stands for alcohol. Don't bel...

 
 


About Andrew Kauzone of us since 11:24 AM on 02.17.2011

 
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