Flixist opens convenience store in Newbridge, New Jersey


Success on the street has led to quick expansion of our operation

I know what you're thinking, and I'm thinking the same thing: how did we go from a street corner one minute to a corner store the next? Well, that's the way the market works today, and we couldn't be any happier. Flixist is going to take the country by storm, and the real winner is the consumer. Flixist Convenience is open 24 hours a day, most days a week.

Our first brick and mortar store is located in wonderful Newbridge, New Jersey next to the Dinosore Cabaret. I haven't frequented that establishment (honestly), but from what I hear, they cater to furries who are into prehistoric reptiles. I'm not going to judge since they're good for business, and I think that a lady in a triceratops outfit was giving me the eye last time I was in our store. (I can never tell when the costume's on, what with that big papier mache head.)

One of the difficulties is redoing our codes of conduct in the employee handbook, which changes a lot when you go from street food to a proper storefront. The rules about spitting and eye-gouging still generally apply, but now we need to consider how we keep our employees from getting into milk-drinking races and huffing model airplane glue. While I have yet to come up with a rewards/incentive system for good performance and behavior, it may involve the Dinosore Cabaret.

You are logged out. Login | Sign up



Hubert Vigilla
Hubert VigillaEditor-at-Large   gamer profile

Vigilla is a writer living in Brooklyn, which makes him completely more + disclosures



Filed under... #April Fools Day 2013 #Top Stories



You're not expected to always agree, but do please keep cool and never make it personal. Report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community team. Also, on the right side of a comment you can flag nasty comments anonymously (we ban users dishing bad karma). For everything else, contact us!