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Review: Pitch Perfect 3

I don’t know what I was expecting. The Pitch Perfect series has never been remarkable, but also never distasteful enough to shout about it on the internet for an extended period of time. It exists for the sole purpose of entertaining ...

 
 
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Review: Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I really thought I had gotten some Star Wars fatigue. In the build up to the release of Star Wars: The Last Jedi I just wasn't feeling that usual excitement, but as the day of my screening got closer it started to swell....

 
 
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Review: Coco

A litany of Disney animated films have explored various cultures. Whether or not they were entirely respectful of those cultures is up for debate, but the one constant up until recently was that neither Disney nor Pixar tackled any aspects ...

 
 
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Review: Justice League

Warning: I'm going to discuss a thing that is obvious, but some may consider a spoiler so don't read if you've been in a cave for the entire marketing campaign of this movie.  Well they did it, folks. DC made two movies in a row that d...

 
 
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Review: A Bad Moms Christmas

It's the first day of November so of course that means we're in open season for all things Christmas. Like a runner leaving the blocks before the starting gun fires, A Bad Moms Christmas is storming into the Christmas season long befor...

 
 
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Review: Blade Runner 2049

Denis Villeneuve has done the impossible. He has pulled off a feat that most directors won't even take a stab at. He has delivered unto us something we haven't seen for years. With this act Villeneuve has firmly established himself as one o...

 
 
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Review: American Made

At this point there's an entire adult generation who thinks of Contra as a retro video game first and a group of right wing militants backed by the US government second. That simple fact might lead you to be surprised that the CIA, White Ho...

 
 
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Review: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

I think I open up every post I write about the original Kingsman movie like this, but what an effing surprise it was. In a rare occurrence I didn't catch the flick in theaters, and despite the positive reviews I still thought it l...

 
 
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Review: American Assassin

There was a time back in the 90s and early 2000s when an American spy or hero or killer guy in a movie could go over to another country, kill all the terrorist bad guys, come back and the audience would think, "Yup, that was OK to do." But ...

 
 
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Review: The Hitman's Bodyguard

It's August, and that means we're entering the second span of doldrums for movie releases for the year (the first being the beginning of the year). From now until late September, when all of the horror films start rolling in, we get studio ...

 
 
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Review: Detroit

In the opening scene of Detroit, a large group of African Americans are rounded up and arrested en masse for having an indoor party; their crime: not having a liquor license, supposedly. They are put in the backs of paddy wagons u...

 
 
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Review: The Dark Tower

If you've read Stephen King's prolific Dark Tower saga you know it's a weird, wonderful, flawed, brilliant, mess of an epic that touches so many genres it's hard to classify it at all. It bounces from western to science fiction to...

 
 
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Review: Atomic Blonde

Atomic Blonde looks like one of those scrappy little action flicks that has a slow burn of success. Think of things like John Wick or Taken. Films that succeed because they're cram full of action and their plots actually...

 
 
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Review: War for the Planet of the Apes

Combing through nostalgic culture has become the norm, and unfortunately, so have the middling resulting projects. Audiences have, sadly, come to expect reboots to suffer as studios struggle to re-capture what made something popular in the ...

 
 
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Review: Despicable Me 3

Despicable Me was a revelation when it first hit theaters. A villain choosing fatherhood over his proclivity for evil deeds was a novel idea, and it was much more than the minion flavored marketing would have you believe. Then those minions...

 
 
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Review: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man films have been through all sorts of ups and downs. What was once the biggest comic book property on film has since been the victim of studio craziness, failed attempts, and just an overall bad reception by the time The...

 
 
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Review: Baby Driver

Edgar Wright is a director with a specific vision, and it's led him to make some of the most genre-bending films in the past decade, and some of the funniest. It's also led him to leave Ant-Man. How do you bounce back from someone not letti...

 
 
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Review: Transformers: The Last Knight

Transformers: The Last Knight is proof that Andy Kaufman is alive. When the first film arrived it was a classic Michael Bay film. Yes, it was dumb, and full of stupid, but it had awesome action, and Optimus Prime, and it worked. Since ...

 
 
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Review: Cars 3

Pixar has made a name for itself these past few decades by delivering quality kids films that everyone can enjoy, regardless of age. Yet among those films, the Cars series is rarely included, and for good reason. The storytelling and jokes ...

 
 
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Review: The Mummy

Everybody wants a superhero movie universe now. Thanks to Marvel's insane success at stringing together a cinematic comic universe, every movie studio out there wants a piece of the pie. You can't really blame them. Cinematic universes put ...

 
 
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Review: Wonder Woman

DC Comics and Warner Bros have been, well, let's say misguided in their attempts at launching a series of films comparable to Marvel's success. Deciding to push through critical failure (thanks to overall box office success), the conglomera...

 
 
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Review: Baywatch

Baywatch is another film in the same vein of nostalgic television reboots like The A-Team, CHiPs, and the crazily successful 21 Jump Street. A show known only for attractive people running in slow motion serving as a sort of softcore a...

 
 
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Review: The Wall

The premise is simple, the film anything but. Iraq, 2007. The war is coming to an end, but maybe someone should have told that to the "bad guys." Two American soldiers. Not just any American soldiers, but a sniper team, Aaron Johnson (...

 
 
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Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

When the first Guardians of the Galaxy hit I'm not sure any of us we're really prepared for it being as fantastic as it was. We weren't prepared for a team of mostly unknown superheroes being turned into one of Marvel's most popular fr...

 
 
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Review: Power Rangers

More so than any of the reviews I've written, I feel I have to preface this one a bit. Since I (literally in some cases) hold the Power Rangers brand so close to my chest, I've been keeping a close eye on the reboot since the moment it was ...

 
 
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Review: Kong: Skull Island

The monster movie is making a comeback. No, not the still-odd-to-me Universal Monster Cinematic Universe. I'm talking giant, city-destroying monsters. And yes, they're getting their own universe. Unbeknownst to us the kick off for that univ...

 
 
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Review: Before I Fall

If you read my Top 15 Movies of 2016 list, then you'll know that at the very top (number 0) was The Edge of Seventeen. Also worth noting: my favorite movie of ever continues to be Joseph Kahn's Detention. From that, we can deduce the follow...

 
 
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Review: Logan

(This is a republishing of the original review, which posted two weeks ago.) Logan is a response to a litany of unprecedented events. Comic book films are more popular than ever, the X-Men series is still a viable franchise s...

 
 
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Review: Get Out

There's a story I heard but cannot verify about why Dave Chapelle ended The Chapelle Show when he did, with tens of millions of dollars on the line. So the story goes, he was working on a sketch that dealt prominently with race issues,...

 
 
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Review: A Cure for Wellness

Gore Verbinski has always been a peculiar director. I've been a fan of his ever since he did remarkable work adapting the Japanese film Ringu into The Ring (a series that has not fared well in his absence), but choices in Pirates of the Car...

 
 
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Review: John Wick: Chapter 2

In the John Wick cinematic universe, everyone who matters knows John Wick, by face, name, and reputation. They know the stories, they see the man, and they get a little concerned: “You working again, John?” asked the neighborhoo...

 
 
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Review: The Lego Batman Movie

The Lego Movie was my favorite animated film of 2014. It felt fresh, had a story and jokes fit for both children and their parents, and even managed to deliver a heartfelt message at the end. The big standout was Will Arnett as Batman, a se...

 
 
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Review: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

The Resident Evil films have always been a special kind of terrible. While not great films in their own right, each film is part of a larger ambitious tale further spurned on by both fan and creator devotion. Each one might not fare well cr...

 
 
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Review: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Every year I wind up missing a good deal of films as their advertising end up swallowed by the huge hype machines of bigger studio releases. But the true gems make themselves known somehow. Usually it's through word of mouth, but The Autops...

 
 
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Review: Why Him?

Sometimes questions shouldn't be begged in the titles of pieces lacking the substance to back up or even fully answer the suggested question. Why Him? Falls victim to this trope. Why him? Why me? Why see this movie?  

 
 
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Review: Assassin's Creed

Assassin's Creed has been in the works for a long time. The videogame series' developer Ubisoft has been trying to get the project off the ground since 2011, but was marred with production and release date delays. When Michael Fassbender wa...

 
 
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Review: Moana

Disney Animation has had one critical success after another since they're in the middle of a new creative renaissance. Fully embracing CG animation, Disney has produced hits like Tangled, Wreck-It Ralph, Zootopia, and most importantly, Froz...

 
 
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Review: The Monster

As often as I can, I like to go into films relatively blind. In the case of The Monster, my Facebook feed had been full of friends talking about how stellar the leading performances were and how great it was that they had gone with practica...

 
 
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Review: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

On my right wrist is a scar given to me by the seventh Harry Potter book. I was abroad at the time, at a language school. The book had just launched, and my Turkish roomate (not my French or Croatian ones) got a copy. I asked him if I could...

 
 
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Review: Pokemon: The First Movie

One weekend, too many years ago, I spent a night over at my aunt's place. She didn't have cable, but she had a VCR. Which meant I could watch any movie I brought with me when I was bored of doing dumb kid stuff. Not thinking ahead, the only...

 
 




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Reviews   filter by...

Men in Black: "Oh, they have crap overseas too!"

 

The Dead Don't Die"Shambling wreck or full of brains?"

 

Shaft"Shut cho mouth!"

 

Diamantino"Ignorance is bliss"

 

The Fall of the American Empire"Big ideas, bad ideas, muddled ideas"

 

The Secret Life of Pets 2"A move with the attention spa... SQUIRREL!"

 

Dark Phoenix"Rising from ashes or better off soot?"

 

The Last Black Man in San Francisco"An ode to a home slipping out of grasp"

 

Changeland"Seth Green goes to Thailand"

 

Rocketman"I'm still standing"

 

Godzilla: King of the Monsters"Call me when they add Jet Jaguar"

 

The Cleaning Lady"Expect the expected"

 

Rondo"A little blood never hurts"

 

Free Trip To Egypt"Not a ploy to sell you into sex slavery"

 

Domino"Line 'em up"

 

The Perfection"A blood and vomit duet"

 

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 6 Episode 3 - "Fear and Loathing..."A weird space comedy you didn't know you wanted"

 

Aladdin"Touch nothing but the lamp!"

 

Brightburn"What if Superman was evil, but also boring?"

 

Made in Abyss: Wandering Twilight"May your journey overflow with curses and blessings"

 

Avengement"Bone-breaking Brits"

 

Aniara"How grim it is, one's detonation."

 

All is True"To die, to sleep - no more"

 
 
 
 
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