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New Death Note Poster looks better than the Show

Jun 27 // Drew Stuart
Despite how corny it is to have a real twitter account for a fictional character, at least we've got this poster out of it. Ryuk is styled in black and white, with incredible detail put into making his face look demonic and intimidating. The use of negative space brings to mind some of the better illustration in the Berserk manga series, and Ryuk's back spines look particularly frightening. Whatever your feelings are towards this new incarnation of Death Note, (probably negative because of that terrible, terrible trailer) all we can do right now is hope that Wingard knows what he's doing with the material, and can deliver and excellent film when it drops on August 25, 2017. In the meantime, we can gawk at how amazing Ryuk looks in the poster. [via Twitter]
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Not the anime, the Netflix one, duh

You remember Death Note, right? No, I'm not talking about the critically-acclaimed anime, or its manga counterpart. I'm talking about the Adam Wingard directed, takes-place-in-the-US-Netflix-original-movie known as Death Note. The last time we were talking about it, a new trailer had just dropped, and this time, it's because there's a gorgeous new poster out.

Early this morning, director Adam Wingard had a short exchange with a Netflix PR account called, 'Ryuk,' named for the shinigami which follows Light Turner, the protagonist of Death Note, around in both the anime and this upcoming Netflix original. 'Ryuk' asked Wingard if he could reveal anything new for the upcoming film, and Wingard tweeted out a new poster featuring Ryuk himself. 

 

 

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No, seriously, Bacon has worms.

Because Hollywood is essentially a seething heap of worms mindlessly burrowing through recycled soil looking for fresh fodder, we're getting a second Syfy Tremors reboot, but this time with bacon!

Kevin Bacon will reprise the roll he first took on in 1990 in the original Tremors. Four direct to video movies, one 13 episode television series, and twenty-seven plus years later and he's back! Hopefully with his original Bon Jovi mullet intact. People love worms. In all varieties. People like watching worms do weird things, like live inside human beings, or grow to dinosaur size and terrorize entire towns. This is a surefire hit.

 

 

 

[via Variety]

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"I'm Batman. ... Still. ... Probably."

Because the world wants Flixist to create a true clusterfuck label, here we go again.

If one searches back through our Ben Affleck Flixist timeline, one finds the following posts:

We can conclude several things from this: never believe anything you read. Never believe anything Ben Affleck says. Never believe anything Matt Reeves says. So, really, we shouldn't believe Matt Reeves this time when he says that Ben is definitely playing Batman in the new standalone DCU Batman film. Because Ben's directing and starring, but not directing any longer, and Matt Reeves may be taking over, but Ben's definitely trying not be Batman now that he's finally Batman, and Matt, being a fickle fellow who follows others easily has decided he doesn't want to direct the movie either, thank you Mr. Affleck!, only, just kidding Ben, it was a fake-out to make you really, truly give it up so that he could have it all to himself! (you just got Reevesed!), and because Ben also likes to follow others, well, he's back in the saddle too!

The DC Cinematic Universe is really getting its shit together, isn't it? Let's all take a moment to sigh / bang our heads into a wall / hold our breath / scream at the top of your lungs / close our eyes and hope it all just goes away / swear off comic movies forever / give up.

 

 

[via IGN]

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More Han Solo drama: Lucasfilm hired acting coach for lead Alden Ehrenreich

Jun 26 // Hubert Vigilla
[embed]221647:43624:0[/embed] Ron Howard has now taken the controls of this shambling bucket of bolts, and needs to complete the project by the first week of September. The movie is still expected to be released on May 28, 2018. The whole THR piece is worth a read, as it offers additional details about Lord and Miller's directing style, their reliance on improvisation, their lack of experience around large crews, as well as the unrealistic expectations that Lucasfilm places on their directors in terms of time constraints. With Star Wars running on the Marvel Cinematic Universe model (i.e., producers are like TV showrunners calling the shots), it seems like only certain filmmakers are able to handle these kinds of productions given the scope and quick decision-making involved. And yet, as the THR piece notes, Rian Johnson seems to have gotten through production on The Last Jedi without any major issues that we know of. I'm still not interested in a young Han Solo movie, but I would love to see a documentary about the making of this young Han Solo movie. The Men Who Shot Greedo First. Lost Solo. Hans of Darkness. The Falcon of Dreams. What do you think of all this? Let us know in the comments. [via THR]
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Would that it were so simple

The drama over the Han Solo stand-alone film continues. Last week, directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller were fired and soon replaced by reliable journeyman Ron Howard. Unfortunately this was six months into production. The directing duo had major creative differences with Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy and screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan over the tone of the movie, which led to this unexpected firing.

The Han Solo debacle between Lord & Miller and Lucasfilm seems like it was a bad match from the get-go, but for some reason no one did anything about it. It turns out the Han Solo movie may have also had some acting problems. With its Han Solo, no less.

According to a new piece by Kim Masters for Heat Vision/The Hollywood Reporter, Lucasfilm hired an acting coach for star Alden Ehrenreich, whose performance reportedly concerned Kennedy and others at Lucasfilm. THR notes that hiring an acting coach isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's not really a good thing so late in production. Rumors from Star Wars News Net said Ehrenreich voiced concerns about Lord and Miller's directing style and how his performance was being molded by the duo. A source likened Ehrenreich's comedic performance to Jim Carrey's from the Ace Ventura films. All righty, then.

In addition to all that, editor Chris Dickens (Macbeth) was nixed and replaced by Pietro Scalia (The Martian, Alien: Covenant).

Franchise filmmaking. Would that it were so simple.

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Box Office Numbers: China's probably going to save the Transformers franchise...again

Jun 26 // Nick Valdez
1. Transformers: The Last Knight - $69,095,485 2. Wonder Woman - $25,175,000 3. Cars 3 - $25,175,000 4. 47 Meters Down - $7,435,000 5. All Eyez on Me - $5,850,000 6. The Mummy - $5,836,950 7. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales - $5,239,000 8. Rough Night - $4,700,000 9. Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie - $4,280,000 10. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - $3,000,000  
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Wow, china that big

Tranformers: The Last Knight is, well, a mess. Poor writing, poor pacing, poor Marky Mark, and is basically par for the course for the Transformers series. Yet, these things still make a ton of money. You might be wondering why folks are still drawn to these films despite being put through the ringer four times before, but there's hope yet...at least domestically.

It turns out Transformers: The Last Knight "only" tracked $69.1 million (nice) over its five day spread. It still took the top spot at the box office, and it's not like that much money is anything to scoff at, yet it still had the lowest debut in the series. Then there's China. 

According to Variety, China -- who loved Transformers: Age of Extinction so much it became their highest grossing film ever -- doubled the domestic gross with an impressive $123 million opening weekend...bringing the overall total to $265.3 million after a single week. So even if the fever is dying out in the West, China could basically guarantee we'll see plenty more Transformers films and even that stupid Bumblebee origin story.

Find out how other North American releases did at the box office last weekend below. 

[via Rentrak]

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Pitch Perfect 3 premieres 1st trailer; likely features women singing--Do-Re-Mi!

Jun 26 // Rick Lash
[embed]221644:43621:0[/embed]   Pitch Perfect Vital Stats: Weight: Pitch Perfect 1 $115M, Pitch Pefect 2 $285M Height: Trifecta Known affiliates: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Hailey Steinfeld, Brittany Snow Aliases: Group American Idol   [via Variety]    
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And there's your daily does of human being with its arm up to the shoulder in cow butt.

You're welcome! As noted when Pitch Perfect 3 dropped poster art a few days ago, I'm a fan of the series. That's a precursor to everything I'm going to say now.

Wow: there are flying sharks, fist fights, sausage nunchucks, and explosions. It looks like they're finally putting back some of the unexpected box office money into this franchise. Kudos. Go out on top Bellas. But what does any of this have to do with our sad Bellas? As usual, they start in a low place, with nothing going their way, but through togetherness, pull off the win (we think?).

The plot outside the usual, that they're competing against a band with instruments and original music seems thin. How's that a competition? Yes, it seems impossible because it's improbable. But I'll roll with it anyway as I expect to laugh like two year olds watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse; that is to say a lot

The whole gangs back, with plenty of emphasis on Fat Amy--probably a good thing. What are your expectations? Leave us a comment after checking out the trailer below.

 

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Review: War for the Planet of the Apes

Jun 26 // Nick Valdez
[embed]221622:43616:0[/embed] War for the Planet of the ApesDirector: Matt ReevesRelease Date: July 14th, 2017Rated: PG-13 Years after the events of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Caesar (Andy Serkis) is still struggling with his role in the death of his former friend and rival Koba. With the apes retreating to the forest, the last remnants of humanity have taken a more aggressive approach (sparked by Koba's attack on them years prior) led by the militant extremist, Colonel (Woody Harrelson). When Colonel crosses the line and threatens his family, Caesar decides to travel across the states to hunt down the Colonel and get his revenge.  First things first, War is absolutely gorgeous. Somehow improving on the visuals found in the second film, War gives us flair like snowy fur, wet fur, and several visually distinct settings. This film can often be dark (both figuratively and literally), yet the lighting is kept at such a balance each motion captured ape is still distinct when sitting in caves or walking around during night scenes. And although we've seen it in action two films prior, the motion capture animation is still sublime. Serkis' Caesar is, with just cause, a standout above the rest as Caesar now more closely resembles the intelligent apes found in the 70s films. I personally miss the broken English he spoke in the previous film, but a Caesar without stilted dialogue allows Serkis to evolve the character with a more nuanced performance outside of physical acting.  Each film in this modern Apes trilogy has had its own distinct flavor. Rise has an undercurrent of dread, constantly inching its way toward the expected uprising, Dawn is a clash of violence and ideologies as the new status quo is established, and War is the methodical denouement in which the stage is set for the Planet of the Apes story everyone is familiar with. Because of this, unfortunately, this film has more of a pacing issue than the others. Essentially becoming a revenge thriller as Caesar morphs into an one-ape army, War sort of meanders through the second act until the thread for the final act reveals itself. This slower pace seems entirely intentional as Caesar's revenge arc lacks any satisfactory developments. But regardless of how this deliberately slower act reflects Caesar's core growth toward the end of the trilogy, and conveying Caesar's loss of hope and direction, I can't help but think a brisker pace would make the tone of the eventual ape escape less jarring. If all this talk of a slower, character intensive piece scares you away, no need to worry. I'm not going to go into depth about it here, but there's a extended prison break scene and it's probably the best thing in this entire trilogy. While War loses the grey morality of the previous two films as one side is a clear cut villain -- thus losing a bit of the nuance of the rest of the trilogy -- having a side to truly root for improves the trilogy overall. It's sort of freeing, actually. The tone of the film gets a more lighthearted spin once Bad Ape (Steve Zahn, pictured below) is introduced and the pacing problems of the second act melt away completely. The final third of the film is fun, has quite a bit of metaphorically intriguing imagery, and brings the trilogy to a close in a splendid way.  When all was said and done, I couldn't believe how this trilogy pulled it off. It's rare you'll get one well made reboot film, let alone an entire trilogy. The Apes trilogy has always been a sleeper hit these past few Summers, and because of the smaller attention, Matt Reeves was able to keep a steady vision for the final two films without much interference. War for the Planet of the Apes is a "blockbuster" in name only, and because of this was able to make the many brave choices it does. I mean, it's a film trilogy about monkey business which also includes death, hardship, disease, mediation between warring states, post-traumatic stress disorder, class struggles, and even some poop flinging for good measure.  I'm hard pressed to think of a better modern trilogy, or one that isn't one of the big five (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Godfather, The Lord of the Rings, and Back to the Future), that could measure up to this. War of the Planet of the Apes is the finest end to a trilogy I've seen in a long time. 
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Ape Escape

Combing through nostalgic culture has become the norm, and unfortunately, so have the middling resulting projects. Audiences have, sadly, come to expect reboots to suffer as studios struggle to re-capture what made something popular in the first place. Yet somehow, a successful Planet of the Apes prequel trilogy came out of all of this mess. I certainly didn't expect to be sitting here, sixteen years after watching Mark Wahlberg punch monkeys in the face, gushing about how great this trilogy has been overall. 

War for the Planet of the Apes is not as strong of a film as its predecessor, 2014's stunning Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, but it is the culmination of years of excellent work from everyone involved.

War impresses from chimpan-a to chimpanzee. 

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Also, that's no the title

The sequel to Spider-Man: Homecoming was green lit the second Marvel and Sony decided to team up and bring Spidey into the MCU. I mean there's just no way it isn't going to make money and then the sequel will make money too, so why not get a head start on it. What is up in the air is how it will be received, and it sounds like no matter what the reception, director Jon Watts will be coming back.

Collider spoke with the film's producers who said that they are most likely going to be bringing back the previously untested director for the sequel. The early buzz is good (though it always is) so it makes sense that producer Amy Pascal would say, "He knocked it out of the park. We would be crazy [not to bring him back]. He did a wonderful job and the whole atmosphere of the movie, all the things that people like about it are the things he brought to it. He’s really special."

This is even more of a no-brainer considering the recent spate of directors who have not been able to handle big blockbusters. Phil Lord and Chris Miller are the most recent example, but most famous Josh Trank basically lost control of Fantastic Four. It's not a given that a talented indie director can take the helm of a blockbuster, so finding one who reportedly can keep his style while also wrangling a massive budget is key to hold onto. 

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Trailer: Watch Jackie Chan vs Pierce Brosnan in The Foreigner

Jun 26 // Hubert Vigilla
The last Jackie Chan movie I loved through and through was 2004's New Police Story, a grim-ish reboot/sequel of the Police Story series. The film acknowledged that Chan wasn't getting any younger, and that if he wanted to beat his opponents, he had to out-think them on top of kicking them in the face. The Foreigner is under the capable direction of Martin Campbell (Casino Royale), and it's the sort of movie I hoped Chan would attempt from 2004 onward. Not that everything he did had to be gritty, but rather the films Chan picked could reflect the wisdom and effects of age on a martial artist. In essence, I was hoping the underlying philosophy/thesis of late-period Jackie Chan would be "Yeah, you're younger and faster than me, but I'm wiser and I'm much more creative." That said, I hope Chan and Brosnan duke it out GoldenEye style at the end. Here's an official synopsis for The Foreigner: The Foreigner, starring Jackie Chan and Pierce Brosnan, is a timely action thriller from the director of Casino Royale. The film tells the story of humble London businessman Quan (Chan), whose long-buried past erupts in a revenge-fueled vendetta when the only person left for him to love -- his teenage daughter -- is taken from him in a senseless act of politically-motivated terrorism. In his relentless search for the identity of the terrorists, Quan is forced into a cat-and-mouse conflict with a British government official (Brosnan), whose own past may hold clues to the identities of the elusive killers. The Foreigner comes out October 13. Check out the official poster and some movie stills in the gallery.
Trailer: The Foreigner photo
So... Jackie Chan as Liam Neeson? Sold!

Jackie Chan fights Pierce Brosnan. Yeah, you read that right. The Foreigner has Jackie Chan vs. an evil 90s James Bond (so basically Sean Bean?), and it looks like a solid revenge thriller. Rather than Chan playing his usual happy-go-lucky self, the 63-year-old action icon plays against type. This looks more like a Liam Neeson role, with a little bit of Rambo in there.

In case you were wondering, Liam Neeson is 65 years old. Pierce Brosnan is 64 years old. (My age is none of your business,)

Give the trailer for The Foreigner a look below:

[embed]221641:43620:0[/embed]

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Pitch Perfect has been an unexpectedly enjoyable franchise. It's irreverent, yet stays on point, and by and large does a wonderful job of staying in the realm of comedy while still having a story (as non-earth shattering as it may be). It's easy to remain excited about the third installment--whether it be to get your next dose of the Bellas, or to look for all those little asides, those gems, that become so highly reference-friendly post-viewing.

The first promotional poster for the film stays on point: we've got the cast, which makes sense, as it's definitely an ensemble story; it's clean--i.e., not a clusterfuck; it's stylish--way to make those Bellas look badass; and it's funny. That's easy to understand and easy to be onboard with. Way to keep us excited for this a cappella threepeat, Universal!

As you know, we love alternate taglines--feel free to drop them in the comments, below.

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This isn't the Abrams-verse?

All this week we've been getting scattered new images from Star Trek: Discovery as we get closer and closer to the show's September 24 premier date (the first episode will be aired on CBS with the rest on CBS's streaming service). We haven't jumped on too many as they've been single images that are kind of boring. However, this first look at a teleportation room deserves some comment. 

This is the teleportation room for the U.S.S. Shenzhou (not the Discovery), but assuming all Federation ships have similar transport bays then it gives us an idea of what we will see. Even if they don't, it gives us an idea of the general design of the series, and... it just looks weird. We're supposedly in the TV show's timeline, not the new movie's one, but everything we've seen so far in terms of design just screams the movies. Say what you will about Enterprise, but they did a hell of a job making it feel like the designs of that show could eventually flow into the designs of the original series. Discovery is supposed to take place between those two or so, but it doesn't look like it fits at all. 

Look, I realize they're updating this and they want to pull in audiences from the movies. To do that they'll probably need to lean a bit towards making things more like the movies. However, in a series where canon is so important and so incredibly large, be so blatantly out of sync in terms of design is worrisome for the show overall. Hopefully the few things we've seen actually feel like they fit into the Star Trek universe once the we actually see the show.  

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Review: The Bad Batch

Jun 23 // Hubert Vigilla
[embed]221600:43618:0[/embed] The Bad BatchDirector: Ana Lily AmirpourRating: RRelease Date: June 23, 2017 (limited) Don't get me wrong. There are things about The Bad Batch that I love, but they're undermined by boring self-satisfied self-indulgence. In the film's post-apocalyptic world, prisoners are released at the Texas border and left to fend for themselves. Arlen starts the movie wandering the wasteland but is soon kidnapped by cannibals. She loses an arm and a leg before she escapes to a makeshift town called Comfort. (On the way she meets a mute and nearly unrecognizable Jim Carrey.) Comfort is run by a charismatic cult leader surrounded by an army of bodyguards/brides. He's played by Keanu Reeves, who seems to be doing his best impression of Edgar Allan Poe doing a bad Keanu Reeves impression. At night, Comfort becomes a small scale post-apocalyptic Burning Man, complete with a DJ bumping tunes in a giant, light-up boombox. In all that I've written, what's not to love? The answer is Arlen. After about 30 minutes in a two-hour movie, my patience and goodwill dissipated because of her and the film's unwillingness to do anything interesting with her. Maybe it's odd of me to expect character from a moody would-be cult movie, but Arlen's lack of character causes The Bad Batch to implode around her. She doesn't want anything, doesn't need anything, has no sense of motivation or an internal life. She just kind of wanders around. For a movie with such a strange world, it's too content with being listless. Arlen is a non-character surrounded by more interesting supporting characters. There's no compelling story to tell in The Bad Batch; it's just a bunch of sets, locations, a primary cast, and a little stunt casting. In one of the early moments of The Bad Batch, Arlen meets a scavenger and her daughter. They both come from the cannibal colony that Arlen fled, but she's never interacted with either of these characters before. She murders the mother in cold blood even as she begs for mercy, but spares the daughter, Miel (Jayda Fink). The little girl mutely follows her mother's killer. It's done out of revenge, I get it, and yet Arlen doesn't seek further revenge on those who actually amputated her limbs. She just hangs out in Comfort and that's it. Miel would have made a more interesting main character. Miel's father, Miami Man, could have carried the film as well. He's a hulking bodybuilder cannibal played by Jason Momoa doing an impression of a good Keanu Reeves doing a bad Cuban accent. Like really, really bad. Momoa's at least a driven presence on screen since I knew what he wanted (i.e., to find his daughter... and maybe eat someone). Arlen and Miami Man meet and strike up a bond that verges on attraction but, like so much else about the movie, goes nowhere. They hide beneath a sheet during a sandstorm, intimately close, Miami Man unaware that his companion is his enemy. In a different film this moment could be filled with a edgy or even erotic charge. In The Bad Batch, it's just two attractive people under a flapping white sheet. In my head, I keep thinking of The Bad Batch in terms of El Topo since they're such opposites. Everything in El Topo feels meaningful because Jodorwosky builds his movie around a character's spiritual quest and obsessions. All objects are symbols, actions have cosmic consequence, the finale is apotheosis. The Bad Batch reduces its symbols to objects, strips actions of their greater meaning, turns dialogue into babble. A rambling Reeves monologue late in the film is tedious nonsense about seeds and plumbing. Jodorowsky's The Holy Mountain summed up the gist in just nine words: "You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold." Though beautiful, The Bad Batch is a tautological movie rather than spiritual or philosophical: a meaningless wasteland about a meaningless wasteland. It's not gold, that's for sure.
Review: The Bad Batch photo
What if El Topo was about nothing?

Ana Lily Amirpour's A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night was a sparse yet stunning debut that overflowed with languid cool. So much of Girl Walks gets by on its moody/artsy posturing, which had shades of Jim Jarmusch's early work mixed with an arthouse pastiche of German expressionism and spaghetti western tropes. While it rarely said anything overtly, viewers could tease meaning and motive from its characters. Such is the power of a perfect shot. Amirpour picked her long takes and curated her music choices, which made for some simple yet genuinely transcendent moments.

It's too bad about Amirpour's new film, The Bad Batch. It does so many of the things that A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night does, but to lesser effect. Rather than Jarmusch and F.W. Murnau, Amirpour takes plenty of cues from the Mad Max series, A Boy and His Dog, and Alejandro Jodorowsky's cult classic El Topo. Yet these references feel like indie cred garnish on an empty plate.

Like its protagonist Arlen (Suki Waterhouse), The Bad Batch just sort of hangs out in the desert doing nothing much that matters.

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Details emerge on why Lord and Miller were fired from Han Solo

Jun 23 // Hubert Vigilla
[embed]221635:43617:0[/embed] The EW report notes that Lord and Miller encouraged improv from the cast, and these improvised moments may have affected the overall story of the film. Kennedy and the filmmaking duo began clashing over reshoots and tone, which led to the pair's ouster. Hiring Howard, an experienced journeyman director, means that the movie is going to get back on script. If these reports are true, I'm surprised that it took so long for Lord and Miller to get the axe. Why didn't Lucasfilm intervene much sooner after seeing the dailies? Lord and Miller might have interpreted the lack of intervention as a sign of approval for what they were doing. This might hint at the difficulty of working with a major IP like Star Wars. The goal is to make the movie feel like playing Star Wars as a kid, but there are rules to consider imposed by the studio. To put it another way, Lord and Miller wanted to play Star Wars with LEGOs, while Lucasfilm wanted them to play tennis but Star Wars. I know, the metaphor maybe doesn't quite work, but back off, man. I haven't had coffee yet. Give the full EW report a read of your own and let us know what you think about the situation in the comments. [via Entertainment Weekly]
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They basically made another movie

The news of the week has been the chaos surrounding the stand-alone Han Solo movie. Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller were fired Monday after six months of production due to major creative differences. Yesterday Lucasfilm announced that Ron Howard will take over the film, though it's unclear how much of the movie he will reshoot and rework.

We're beginning to get more details about why Lord and Miller were nixed. Citing unnamed sources close to the production, Entertainment Weekly reported that Lord and Miller were making their kind of movie (i.e., Kessel Run Jump Street) rather than sticking to the Lawrence Kasdan/Jon Kasdan screenplay and guidelines from Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy (i.e., a western caper). EW puts it succinctly:

The split was a subtle one that became magnified over time: Lucasfilm and producer Kennedy believed Lord and Miller were hired to add a comedic touch; Lord and Miller believed they were hired to make a comedy.

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Jurassic World 2 is Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jun 23 // Rick Lash
    [via Twitter]
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When do the dinos get machine guns?

Jurassic World's Twitter account--yes--it has a Twitter account--took to the internet to proclaim to the world, in 140 characters or less: "Hear ye! Hear ye! Our second act, not being the first, shall be titled and known, from this day forth, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom." You know, if movies weren't rising or falling, something would be seriously wrong with the formula.

The accompanying poster fits the franchise theme well and is true to form, if not, again, formulaic. Which got our writers thinking, could there be altnerate titles for this genetically enhanced beast of a sequel? Verily. Minstrels, playeth that music funketh.

Matt: Jurassic Harder

Anthony: I'd say it could be Jurassic World 2: Electric Boogaloo, but we all know the electricity will fail at some point in the movie.

Hubert: Jurassic World 2: The Search for Curly's Gold

Drew: Jurassic World 2: I Still Know who you ate Last Summer

Rick: Jurassic World 2: 2 Legit 2 Quit

Matt: The Lost Park: Jurassic World

Hubert: Jurassic Park 5: Joy 2 the World

Hubert: Jurassic World 2: Sequelsaurus Rex

Rick: Jurassic World vs. Dinosharktopus!

Rick: Jurassic World of Seduction: Jurassic Orgy

Rick: Jurassic World 2: Jurass is Fantastic, Girl

What would you call it? Drop Universal a suggestion in our comments: we'll collect and fax them 1,000 copies of the top 5!

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Ron Howard Han Solo photo
The journeyman director's director

Earlier this week, Lucasfilm fired directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller from the young Han Solo movie. They were six months into production, but major creative differences led to an unexpected and unprecedented split. Today Lucasfilm officially announced that Ron Howard will step in as the new director. Production will resume on July 10th, and the still-untitled film is set for a May 28, 2018 release.

Obviously everything's okay now. Situation normal. They just had a slight director malfunction, but everything's perfectly all right now. They're fine. They're all fine there, now, thank you. How are you?

Even though I'm not interested in a Han Solo movie, it's unfortunate that this project took such a major stumble. I'm left wondering how much of Lord and Miller's material will make it to the final cut, and how Lord and Miller will be credited for their work. Ron Howard is maybe the most vanilla choice to finish the film. Best known for movies like Apollo 13 and Willow (a Lucasfilm production), he's always been a bit of a journeyman director. Yet that's not necessarily a bad thing. Howard is a reliable, experienced journeyman filmmaker, and the original Star Wars trilogy was essentially the work of journeyman directors. (Though could you imagine if David Lynch did Return of the Jedi instead of Richard Marquand.)

It's also important to keep in mind that while this sort of shake up could be bad, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story underwent major reshoots and restructuring, but it turned out good for what it was. (Gareth Edwards was the credited director of Rogue One, but veteran screenwriter/filmmaker Tony Gilroy helped rework and mold the film into its final form.)

Do you have a bad feeling about this? Do you want to see Ron Howard pop the space-clutch and tell the galaxy to eat his space-dust? Let us know in the comments.

[via Deadline]

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Time is a flat circle

After the dismal response on the gritty Fantastic Four reboot from a few years back, the planned sequel that was supposed to come out this summer season was scrapped. Rather than let a single comic series go untapped, 20th Century Fox is planning to reboot the Fantastic Four series again but this time going for a more family friendly tone.

Not much is known about what the story will entail but rumors floating about on the internet liken the movie to The Incredibles with Sue and Reed's children getting into an adventure with the rest of the team "just along for the ride." LEGO Batman screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith has written the latest draft that is again rumored to be based on an Ultimate Fantastic Four story arc.

This could be exactly what the struggling series could need. With the core Marvel movies entering into a dark part of the story there will be an opening for a more lighthearted and family friendly story and Fantastic Four could fill that void. Also kids will go see anything if it's marketed right so this could be the best turn of events for the team. Just please bring back the Fantasticar alright?

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That is quite the list of cast members

When Netflix first announced it was turning Wet Hot American Summer into a prequel TV series I popped some gum and made out like a bandit I was so excited. And then the show was just as weird and funny as the movie so I popped more gum. And now with this new trailer for the next season (is that what we're calling these?) I've got a full pack of gum shoved in my mouth and I'm ready to make out with it. 

Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later is exactly what it sounds like, and that is wonderful. Of course, part of the charm of The First Day of Camp was that is was a prequel with a cast that was clearly older. Now everyone is actually around the right age for who they're playing. Still, it looks like things are staying pretty normal, and now we get to make fun of the 90s instead of the 80s. 

The show ill premier on August 4th and has this wonderfully obvious plot description: 

Welcome to the Camp Firewood 10 Year Reunion! From David Wain and Michael Showalter, the filmmakers that brought the original 2001 cult classic and the 2015 acclaimed prequel series by the same name, Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later is the hilarious new eight-part limited series starring the original cast, plus an all-star lineup of new cast members. 10 Years Older. 10 Years Hotter. 10 Years Wetter.

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Please be good, please be good

As reported by Yahoo news, David Fincher will be helming the yet unnamed sequel to Brad Pitt's 2013 blockbuster World War Z. 

If you're a fan of Fincher's work, then you know that this isn't the first time these two have worked together. Some of Fincher's most influential and gritty films were brought to life with Brad Pitt as the star of both 1995's Seven and 1999's Fight Club. Their most recent collaboration was in 2008 with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, proving that Fincher could not only craft expertly made thrillers, but deliver a romantic-fantasy-drama as well (are there a lot of those?)

Fincher had been in talks with Paramount for the past couple of months to direct, but there had been no word on what came of them up since April. Sure, it could've been ironing out the details, but it also could've meant stagnation, and neither side getting the terms they wanted. And, considering Paramount completely removed the sequel from its schedule in February, the circumstances surrounding the production didn't seem good.Thankfully, those fears have been put to rest. Fincher will direct, and Pitt will star.

This is the first sequel Fincher has directed since 1992's Alien 3, Fincher's directorial debut. Since that dumpster-fire of a film, Fincher has voiced his regret over ever making it due to the lack of artistic control he had. So, signing on to direct a sequel to WWZ, a movie which had numerous problems with studio interference, is kinda-sorta-maybe questionable. Still, Fincher is not the young director he once was, and hopefully he has more control over this production. I mean, the guy hasn't made a bad movie since his debut, so I'm staying optimistic.

What will be the key is Fincher's relationship with Pitt. He is Fincher's most used actor, with three films under his belt, and given that Fincher rarely uses an actor more than once, that's an impressive feat. Maybe their previous work together will benefit the film, but it's not like Fincher's films haven't worked without that element before.

Hopefully Paramount can restrain themselves enough to let these two create an astounding sequel that can eclipse the mediocrity of the first film. Until then, we'll keep looking for new developments on the subject.

 

 

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Charlie Brown: An 8th Saw-Oh good grief!

Because Hollywood is the land of opportunity [read: a complete and utter lack of originality] and audiences are so nuanced of taste and subtly responsive to the creative processes of their filmmakers [read: sheeple who will watch utter garbage to the tune of tens of millions of dollars] we're getting an eighth and probably not final Saw movie. Saw 7 was actually called Saw: The Final Chapter. And if it wasn't the final, because we're getting another, who can say what will happen next? Saw 9: The Directors Cut of Saw 1? I'd pay to see three extra minutes of Cary Elwes crawling down an abandoned corridors--post-amputation--only to bleed out. Right? Even the filmmakers seemed to have carefully deliberated whether or not to continue the franchise--after all, it will have been seven years since the last one!--they literally used to churn these out every year. Unfortunately, they went for it anyway.

The confirmed title for Saw 8 has been revealed to be Jigsaw, named after the villain of the franchise, who supposedly died back in Saw 3, but since final chapters aren't final chapters, maybe dead villains are live villains? We shall see. No word yet as to why the title graphic is a big puzzle. I'm flabbergasted. The thought processes of these people are beyond me--maybe it's sponsored by Milton Bradley?

What do you think: are puzzles still culturally relevant? When was the last time you completed one? Is a movie about a puzzle a good idea? Leave your comments below!

 

 

[via PunchDrunkCritics]

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New trailer for HBO's Game of Thrones Season 7 satisfies

Jun 21 // Drew Stuart
[embed]221628:43614:0[/embed] One thing HBO has the ability to do is pump as much cash as needed into their projects, and if the trailer is anything like the finished product, they've done that once again for GoT. The camera work is excellent, several shots from the trailer stick out in my memory even now, and those CGI dragons keep becoming more and more realistic. It's good to know that one of the best shows on TV is being spared no expense. We'll have to wait a few more weeks to see whether or not it pays off, but if it's anything like Season 6, we're in for a real treat. Game of Thrones Season 7 will premiere July 16, 2017 on HBO.  
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Winter is here on July 16

It's been roughly a month since the last trailer for HBO's Game of Thrones dropped, but when you're hotly anticipating one of the best shows on TV, that wait can become an agonizing struggle. On top of that, GoT is premiering in summer rather than spring this year because of being delayed. Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss cited needing to film in winter as the main cause (makes sense), but that wasn't going to make the wait any better. Thankfully, HBO released their second trailer for GoT Season 7 today, making the wait that much more bearable. It's the perfect kind of trailer, the kind that glimpses never before seen footage of the unsullied storming a major city, and of dragon-fire raining down on ships. There are even some story hints here, not enough to give away the plot, but enough to show us that yes, all the incredible characters and story-lines we've fallen in love with are about to smash into each other with nothing held back.

 

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See Okja early and free

Jun 21 // Matthew Razak
Washington, DC Thursday, June 22 - 7:00 PMLandmark E Street555 11th St NW, Washington, DC 20004 http://www.gofobo.com/OcUrg38632
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Washington DC screenings

Bong Joon Ho's Okja is coming to Netflix soon, but if you'd prefer to see the movie in theaters we've got the chance. It's one of those movies that does look great on the big screen, and seeing it with an audience should be a good time. Plus, you get to see it before it hits Netflix on the 28th. Seeing things early is always awesome.

As such you should go below and click the link to grab tickets to a screening tomorrow. Arrive early as this doesn't reserve you a seat. Come back and tell us how it is. 

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Should have seen this coming

News broke yesterday that the writer-directors of the forthcoming Star Wars Han Solo spinoff prequel were leaving the project. But things aren't always as they seem. The day began as any other for Phil Lord and Chris Miller. They'd successfully collected the bounty for both 21 Jump Street and The Lego Movie. The world was their oyster. And they thought they had a chance to collect another fat bounty--the bounty on Han Solo. All they had to do was get his rep, longtime LucasFilm producer Kathleen Kennedy, in a favorable position. They invited her to breakfast for croissants and espresso at the Mos Eisley cantina.

INT. MOS EISELY, CANTINA - DAY [a band of assorted creatures plays some upbeat music in background]

"Where's the money, Kathleen?" LORD-MILLER pantomimed as one.

"You'll get your money," KATHLEEN replied tersely. Tensions had been running high on set for weeks. These weirdos just didn't understand teamwork or how things were done at LucasFilm! Jar Jar was a great character, and if she wanted him to reappear as a Sith Lord in the new Han movie, then damnit, he would!

"Why don't you give it to us now?" Lord-Miller demanded, producing a blaster above the table, heaps of chocolate croissants and piping espresso.

"Well I don't have it now," Kathleen replied, rolling her eyes and shrugging in that way Han might. Suddenly, she knew what she had to do.

"We've been looking forward to this for a long time," Lord-Miller said, eyeing a large croissant hungrily. Spittle dribbled from the corner of their mouths.

"Me too," Kathleen replied in ice cold proclamation.

She pulled the trigger. Lord-Miller slumped over their plates, dead, as smoke from her blaster drifted from under the table.

Kathleen stood defiantly and shouted into the descended silence, "HAN SHOT FIRST, BITCH!" Before she darted past a pair of jawas and rushed out the door. 

The band started up again.

 

 

[via Variety]

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Review: Transformers: The Last Knight

Jun 21 // Matthew Razak
[embed]221624:43613:0[/embed] Transformers: The Last KnightDirector: Michael BayRated: PG-13Release Date: June 21, 2017 Transformers: The Last Knight doesn't so much have a plot as it has a bunch of action sequences attached together by people saying words that make no sense. If you recall from the end of the last film, Optimus Prime launched himself into space to find the Autobots' creator. In his absence more Transformers have come crashing to earth and humanity has started to be dicks to them and rounding them up. Cade Yaeger (Mark Wahlberg) is hanging out with the Autobots from the last film, including Bumble Bee, as an outlaw who is trying to protect as many of his robot friends as his can. Then... I don't know... some things happen in no logical order. Anthony Hopkins shows up along with Laura Haddock, and everyone stands around spewing incoherent exposition until the next action sequence is cued up. My ongoing complaint with these movies has always been that these Transformer films aren't about the Transformers, and The Last Knight is the culmination of this. The first three quarters of this movie is almost entirely "human" interaction. I put human in quotes because no actual humans interact like the characters in this movie, unless I've missed some universal memo where we're all supposed to speak as if we're delivering important one-liners every other sentence. There is so much illogical plot in this film and none of it involves the Transformers we're coming to see. I'm not sure who thought that Cade Yaeger (god, could that name be any douchier) was an interesting character, but he's not and none of the other characters are either, and I CAME TO A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE TO SEE TRANSFORMERS! The saving grace of the previous films was always Optimus Prime, voiced as wonderfully as ever by Peter Cullen. Cullen somehow made stilted dialog into into epic speeches, and Prime's constant Saturday morning cartoon proselytizing somehow made the idiocy of the films more palatable. So what does The Last Knight do? Removes him from the plot until the third act! Any hope that the end of the last film signaled that we'd get a Transformers-focused film for once are instantly dashed in the opening scene as Prime is basically tied up and not mentioned again for the next hour and half. When he does return the movie instantly moves from "stab me in the eyes for the love of god kill me now" to "OK, just put me in a coma," but that's not much of an improvement, obviously. I will say that the action is actually better than the last film in terms of execution. Age of Extinction was a directorial mess in this department for a variety of reasons, but Bay seems to have put his brains back in his head this time around, and edited together some crisp sequences. The last battle actually pulls you to the edge of your seat, and you can follow what's going on instead of being lost in a blur of cuts. However, being better than the last film in terms of action wasn't a high bar to jump, and this one barely clears it. Action sequence aren't put together to be complete scenes, but instead more of a series of ideas that Bay clearly thought would be cool. At one point there's a time freezing gun, and at another gravity just randomly disappears. Sure it makes for some cool shots, but the action itself becomes illogically incoherent -- a series of camera swoops mushed together into explosion porn. Another not-actually-impressive feat is that the film somehow goes on (and on and on and on) for two-and-half hours. I know these films make a lot of money, but could someone please reign Bay in just a little bit? Even a tiny modicum of restraint in terms of action sequences, slow motion pans over a woman's body, or hapless exposition could have saved trillions of theater goer's brain cells. As it stands Bay and the screenwriters are basically allowed to do whatever the hell pops into their head. Entire characters are introduced and then ignored for most of the running time of the film, and most of them aren't even needed in the first place. At one point a WWI tank Transformer just sort of rolls up, makes a random explosion and then is never seen again. It's like Star Magic Jackson Jr. walked into a room of 4-year-olds and green lit whatever the hell they wanted.  It's also hard to honestly express just how many plot holes are in this film. Plot hole is too light a term. Plot black hole? Plot hell hole? Using the word plot anywhere near The Last Knight just seems wrong. There are literally moments in the movie where they just make a joke about not caring about a coherent plot. I suppose they hoped poking fun at their inability to develop logical reasons for the characters to progress from one point to another would distract us from that very fact, but none of the humor is that funny either. Everything comes straight out of action movie screenplay 101, and it couldn't feel more contrived. Romance. Check. Family. Check. Old guy saying a bad word. Check. It's all so pandering that I can't believe that audiences can't see what they're doing. We can't be this stupid to eat this up and laugh at tired jokes. There is always a defense of films like this that we're just supposed to shut our brain down and enjoy the ride. But this isn't a ride, it's a death trap. Yes, there are films that are great for just enjoying. Michael Bay himself has directed many of them, but Transformers: The Last Knight should not be enjoyed. Giving this movie money is re-enforcing everything wrong with the industry, and possibly everything wrong with the world. It is a mountain of turgid garbage. It is elephant vomit expelled into a pile of rotting corpses. If it was a person it would be going to a very special circle of hell. It is, for lack of a better word, bad.  You got us, Kaufman. You got us good. 
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I'm running out of synonyms for bad

Transformers: The Last Knight is proof that Andy Kaufman is alive.

When the first film arrived it was a classic Michael Bay film. Yes, it was dumb, and full of stupid, but it had awesome action, and Optimus Prime, and it worked. Since then the films have spiraled out of control, but before The Last Knight I could believe that they were just making bad movies because they made a lot of money. The only way that this latest installment could have been made is if the entire franchise was just one long Kaufman joke.

A series of films getting progressively worse while destroying the childhood nostalgia of an entire generation. A comic punchline so terrible, and awful that it could only come from Andy Kaufman himself. A comic pastiche of everything wrong with blockbuster Hollywood slowly played out over decades. It has to be a massive joke, right? I cannot explain it any other way.

Andy Kaufman is alive and he has played the greatest joke in the history of mankind. 

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Welcome to the possibilities

In what could only be described as an answer to my prayers, a prequel of sorts to the 2014 breakout hit John Wick is being planned for TV. The kicker? It's all centered around The Continental hotels where no assassin business of any sort can be performed. Series creator Chad Stahelksi says of the show "It’s very tied to the film [in that] it’s about the Continentals all over the world, how certain people come into that world, and what happens in relation to those people, which is cool. I think the world is very vast, and everything I’ve heard from it is very positive."

As someone who loved the hell out of the first John Wick film but then only liked the world-expanding parts of Chapter 2 this is heaven sent for me. I also think there could be a lot of good stories told if done right, imagine an entire episode dedicated to the new bartender trying to get Winston's martini just the way he likes it? Perfection. Also this hopefully means we might see more Lance Reddick and maybe just maybe another TV show with Ian McShane and that's enough to sell me on the show week 1. As of now though there are no networks or stars attached to the project but there is already a rumor floating around that Keanu Reeves will pop in for a cameo.

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Daniel Day-Lewis has retired from acting

Jun 20 // Hubert Vigilla
[embed]221623:43612:0[/embed] Day-Lewis' career has been full of memorable performances dating back into the 1980s. His breakthrough was 1989's My Left Foot, for which he won his first Academy Award. Day-Lewis would also win Oscars for his performances in There Will Be Blood and Lincoln; he received Best Actor nominations for In the Name of the Father and Gangs of New York. Day-Lewis will purportedly promote The Phantom Thread as the film gets closer to release. Perhaps more details will emerge then regarding this very sudden decision. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to rewatch The Unbearable Lightness of Being, The Last of the Mohicans, and The Boxer. I'm going to need a lot of milkshakes. [via Variety]
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No more milkshakes

In totally unexpected news, Daniel Day-Lewis has decided to retire from acting. One of the finest actors of his generation, Day-Lewis' last onscreen role will be in Paul Thomas Anderson's The Phantom Thread, which comes out December 25th.

According to Variety, the 60-year-old actor gave no specific reasons for his decision to leave acting behind. Day-Lewis' spokeswoman, Leslee Dart, provided the following statement:

Daniel Day-Lewis will no longer be working as an actor. He is immensely grateful to all of his collaborators and audiences over the many years. This is a private decision and neither he nor his representatives will make any further comment on this subject.

Obviously he has quit acting in order to pursue not-acting. In all seriousness, I hope this is not health-related.

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Avengers: Royal Rumble?

Scarlett Johansson, aka Scar-Jo, aka The Crimson Swedishman visited The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to promote her Rough Night (as rough as it proclaims; read all about it!). And somewhere along the way, fanboy Colbert got her off topic to drop tasty tidbits regarding Marvel, the Avengers, and Infinity War.

Once properly goaded, she stood up, and ripped off her shirt to reveal a full-back tattoo detailing all 32 characters who will appear in one massive melee in Avengers: Infinity War. Drop. That. Mic! That's dedication.

Or maybe she just let slide that the movie will have 60 or more characters, including the aforementioned movie poster-clusterfuck waiting to happen. This is the culmination of nearly a decade of work creating the Marvel Cinematic Universe; now nerds can sit back in theaters pleasuring themselves through holes in their own popcorn bins as sixty or more rock hard men and women in spandex wrestle with each other onscreen. God bless America. 

Head to 8:20 for the tattoo reveal.

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[via Slashfilm]

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Home where my parents love lies dying

I'll admit I'm a sucker for a good New York City story. Having grown up in the state that the Big Apple uses for a garbage deposit I've spent many days wandering around the city just breathing in the feeling of the city and thinking up stories for the people I pass. Having since moved away I now have to get the nostalgic feeling of being there through movies that use the city as a character and more than just a setting. It may only be a trailer but I get the feeling that The Only Living Boy in New York isn't going to scratch my desire to recreate the feeling of a cold winters day in NYC.

The movie looks to tell the story of a young college graduate who yearns for his best friends heart and enlists the help of his new neighbor. During the course of the courting he stumbles onto his fathers infidelity and suddenly his intentions shift from winning the heart of his friend to trying to get with his fathers lover? What?

With a reported 90 minute run time I have a sneaking suspicion that this will either be the fastest drama ever or it will suffer from trying to shove too much into such a short amount of time. I will however give it a chance because the director Marc Webb has forever earned my respect for the expectations/reality scene from (500) Days of Summer.

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The Only Living Boy in New York will open in theaters on August 11th this year and stars Callum Turner, Kate Beckinsale, Pierce Brosnan, Cynthia Nixon, Kiersey Clemons, and Jeff Bridges.

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Review: Cars 3

Jun 19 // Drew Stuart
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Here in my Car(s 3)

Pixar has made a name for itself these past few decades by delivering quality kids films that everyone can enjoy, regardless of age. Yet among those films, the Cars series is rarely included, and for good reason. The storytelling and jokes that Pixar is usually known for were lacking from the outset of the first Cars, and by Cars 2, they were downright terrible. It seemed that the series had become tiresome after just two outings (oh that's right, we've got puns over here), and content with selling toys for as long as people would race to buy them (oh no). While other Pixar movies were the wheel-deal (please stop) when it came to quality, the Cars films were spinning auto-control (Ka-chow!) 

Yet here we are in 2017, six years after the last terrible installment in the series, with Cars 3. If you saw the trailers, then you know that this movie is trying to shed the series' mediocre reputation with an unexpected change in the premise. Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) has crashed, and almost everyone thinks he's done with racing for good. Now, it's up to him to prove to the world that he can still compete with the best of the best. This new premise gives the movie a slightly more serious tone, and a redemption story to boot.

So how is it? Surprisingly...good.

[embed]221618:43609:0[/embed]

Cars 3
Director: Brian Fee
Release Date: June 16, 2016
Rated: G

Cars 3 takes a lot of chances, and for the most part, they pay off. Sure, the set-up is different than the past two films, but if you take a look under the hood (heh) more has changed than you could possibly know going in. The old cast of characters, save for Lightning McQueen, are kept at an arms length for the entire movie. Not even Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy), who got nearly as much attention as McQueen in Cars 2, received more than five minutes of screen time. No, for this installment, the focus in on McQueen, and Cruz Ramirez (Cristela Alonzo), McQueen's trainer. I won't spoil anything, but the story takes some unexpected twists and turns that keep it fresh, and dare I say it, exciting. This is by far the best entry into the series yet, and it's thanks in large part to the strong storytelling throughout the film.

This superior story is felt immediately as the opening moments set the stage perfectly for the story being told. For the first time in this series, McQueen is a relatable character to the audience. He doesn't have the cockiness of the first movie, and isn't thrown into the weird spy hi-jinks of the second. He's just racing, and doing it with a few fellow contemporary racers who share his passion for the sport. However, when the antagonist, Jackson Storm (voiced by Armie Hammer) handily beats McQueen out of nowhere -- surprise surprise -- we start empathizing with McQueen's struggle to stay relevant among the rookies, and make a comeback after his massive crash. It isn't revolutionary storytelling, but it's executed better than it has any right to be, which is something the series lacked up until this point. If you're a parent seeing this movie with your kids, you're in for a movie that can entertain both you and your kids without resorting to slapstick or cheap humor.

Aside from the greatly improved storytelling, Cars 3 boasts several other notable improvements over it's predecessors, especially in the animation department. Everything from the lighting, environments and effects has a semi-realistic sheen to it. These are the realest fake-cars you've ever seen, and while that seems like an odd bit of praise for a movie where those same cars have big cartoon eyes (it is), it gives the action on screen a convincing feel to it. This is as pretty as a Cars movie can get, and, sans cartoon eyes, everything on display here looks gorgeous and realistic. There's also the addition of McQueen's new sponsor, Sterling (voiced by Nathan Fillion), and if you like Fillion, then strap in. Sterling is a charming businessman who, at the end of the day, only really cares about his business...and Fillion sells this character like no one else could. Seriously, if you like Nathan Fillion enough, this one addition will make this movie for you. Besides that, this movie also makes several meta jokes about the series as a whole. It's refreshing to see such a tired franchise like Cars briefly poke fun at itself, and move on to deliver a more satisfying movie.

There are still a handful of things that hold Cars 3 back. While I personally enjoyed the more thoughtful moments present in the film, the humor is very dull overall. What's worse is that nearly all the jokes aimed at kids are terrible. At best the kid-friendly humor is forgettable, and at worst it warrants a cringe. I appreciate what director Brian Fee did to make this movie watchable and even enjoyable to adults, after all Cars 3 has good theming, a few great scenes and some enjoyable adult humor. But I feel sorry for any kids who came to this movie expecting there to be funny jokes that weren't about Lightning McQueen being old.

Old man jokes comprise more than half the humor here, and it gets, uh, old after a sort-of funny sequence at a training facility. There also isn't a lot of work put into making Jackson Storm an interesting antagonist. Here's literally everything you need to know about Storm, he's fast, and he's a dick. That's it, really. I know tons of movies out there today suffer from bad villains, but it would've really benefited Cars 3 to have an interesting antagonist of its own. Most redemption stories have a cool or captivating rival for our hero to focus their energy on, but that focus just isn't present here. For most of the movie, you aren't even thinking about the Florida 500 McQueen is going to race in, you're enjoying the characters, and McQueens journey. The story is good, and the new characters are fun, but the one-dimensional Storm simply doesn't bring the thunder (oh, you thought the puns were gone?)

Still, walking out of the theater, I was pleasantly surprised. The story that our characters embark on isn't incredible, but it's told exceptionally well. Cars 3 is a movie about not only knowing your strength, but finding it, and defining who you are with it. It's a solid redemption movie, and leagues ahead of either of the previous movies in the series. If you're looking for a movie to take your kids to, this is the one. Even if the humor might not be up to par with other kids films, you'll find yourself having a good time, and leave feeling that it was well-spent. 

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Little Trouble in Big Hell

Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Fight Club before it, Big Trouble in Little China is getting the sequel comic treatment and it's being co-written by the master of the cult himself, John Carpenter. Titled Old Man Jack, the comic is set in a literally hellish 2020 and will tell the story of how Jack will venture forth out of his home in Florida to confront Ching Dai who has broken the barriers between earth and hell. It is unclear whether this comic will follow the same continuity of the last comic series that involved Jack Burton, but from what the author is saying this will be "the final ride in the Pork-Chop Express"

The comic will be co-written by Anthony Burch who also worked on the Borderlands video game series and will be penciled and colored by Jorge Corona who has worked on Teen Titans Go, and We Are Robin. The limited series will run for 4 issues and be published by BOOM! Studios starting in September.

[Disclaimer: Anthony Burch is a former writer for Flixist's video game affiliate website Destructoid]

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Daddy's Home 2 gets trailer, Mel Gibson, and hopefully not a single hot tub

Jun 16 // Rick Lash
[embed]221615:43608:0[/embed] Mel Gibson making dead hooker jokes? What could possibly go wrong?
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A Flixist team member who shall remain anonymous perhaps said it best: "How did [Daddy's Home] get a sequel?" It's a question we imagine many of you have said on more than one occasion. Don't deny it. It's OK. We've all been there. And then, one day, you're bored. Maybe  you've tossed one or two back. You're overworked. Stressed. You start thinking crazy things. Maybe, just maybe, you'll go and see that sequel: sure, it looks like shit, but you deserve a break--and hey, the first one wasn't that bad. So you like to your spouse, or girl/boy-friend. Say you're headed out the library to do a little research on the ol' novel. But you hightail it to the dirt mall for that discounted ticket. Sure, the picture's not as strong, the popcorn flavor's a little off--is that oregano?--and the Coca Cola leaves you with a splitting headache the next day, but it's worth it. You're looking out for your family by saving two bucks. You're justified. And you settle down in your seat. Real low so that no one sees you. Not that it matters; plenty of people go to the movies alone. Look--look at that weird guy (is he reaching in his waistband for a gun--his dick--no, no. This isn't Colorado. You're totally safe)--he's just a person. Not a weird person. A person like you just wanting to get away from it all for a goddamn minute and --

And multiply that by several million other assholes who can't stick to our high and mighty convictions about what's good, bad, and deserves a sequel and yes, yes this has a sequel. Check out the trailer and let us know if all hope is lost ... or not.  [Take the scale as big or small as you like.]

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