5 Other Arnold Schwarzenegger Characters Who Should Be In WWE 2K16

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As reported on Destructoid yesterday, if you pre-order WWE 2K16, you get to play as the T-800 from The Terminator. The promo video showed Arnold Schwarzenegger recreating the bar scene from Terminator 2: Judgment Day alongside various WWE superstars. (The video is included at the bottom of this post.)

While this might seem random, Schwarzenegger is part of the WWE Hall of Fame, and WrestleMania 31 earlier in the year had a goofy commercial tie-in with Terminator Genisys.

This got me thinking about other Arnie-related pre-order bonuses for WWE 2K16. Here are five other Schwarzenegger characters who ought to get the main event at WrestleMania for the championship belt.

Suggest some of your own Arnie characters and their moves in the comments.

 

Conan the Barbarian

Between the time when Vince McMahon subsumed the old territories and the rise of John Cena, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the WWE Heavyweight Championship around a troubled waist (or over his troubled shoulder). It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his path to WrestleMania. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

Signature Spot: Hyborian Rage (flurry of punches, with flourishes similar to an unarmed version of the Atlantean Sword Kata)

Finishing Move: Riddle of Steel (basically an Alabama Slam)

 

Howard Langston/Turbo Man (Jingle All the Way)

In order to get a Turbo Man doll for his son, Howard Langston must dress up like Turbo Man and win the WWE Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania. (It makes about as much sense as The Terminator being there, really, Also, Sinbad is his manager.)

Signature Spots: Deck the Balls (low blow when referee isn’t looking)

Finishing Move: It’s Turbo Time! (basically a Spear)

 

John Matrix (Commando)

I went back and forth between John Matrix from Commando and Dutch from Predator here. While I went with John Matrix, let’s just pretend there’s a mud-covered skin for the character that you can use to play Dutch.

Signature Spot: I’ll Kill You Last (flurry of chops in the corner of the ring) [Note: As Dutch, this move is called “The Choppa”]

Finishing Move: I Lied (shoots opponent with rocket launcher) [Note: As Dutch, this move is called “Do It Now!”]

 

Mr. Freeze (Batman and Robin)

In order to find a cure for his wife’s strange condition, Mr. Freeze must win the WWE Heavyweight Championship. The road to WrestleMania is paved in cold!

Signature Spot: Chillax (jumping double axe handle from the second rope)

Finishing Move: The Iceman Cometh (basically the Stone Cold Stunner)

 

Quaid (Total Recall)

Quaid’s fantasy is to become a pro-wrestler, so he goes into Rekall to live it out. Of course, things go wrong, and somehow he winds up hallucinating that he is a wrestler and winds up in the squared circle. He main events WrestleMania on Mars, but it’s all just part of the simulation… or was it?

Signature Spot: The Nose Job (submission maneuver that involves shoving his thumb up the opponent’s nose)

Finishing Move: Two Week Notice (throws an exploding head at opponent, all matches end in disqualification… or do they?)

 

Bonus Tag Team – The Benedict Twins (Julius and Vincent from Twins)

Yes they’d wrestle in matching suits.

Best. Tag team. Ever.

Signature Spot: Twin Science (switching places without a tag, sort of like The Bella Twins)

Finishing Move: Brotherly Love (Julius throws Vincent from top rope, sort of like when Colossus and Wolverine do a Fastball Special in X-Men comics)

 

Hubert Vigilla
Brooklyn-based fiction writer, film critic, and long-time editor and contributor for Flixist. A booster of all things passionate and idiosyncratic.