Yesterday we had a list of five other Arnold Schwarzenegger characters who should be in WWE 2K16. (I apologize for leaving out Kindergarten Cop‘s Detective John Kimble.) With all that Arnie in one place, the game would basically become a Schwarzenegger-heavy version of Super Smash Bros. (Super Smasheneggers?)
To balance out the Arnolds, we’ve decided to add more robots to the mix that can keep The Terminator company. (We love robots, as evidenced by this list of the top 10 movie robots.) Here are five other cinematic robots that should also be in WWE 2K16, including their signature spots and finishing moves. Suggest some of your own robots you’d like to see in the squared circle in the comments.
(The T-1000 is a given, that’s why he’s not on the list.)
RoboCop vs. The Terminator. That’s the WrestleMania main event that everyone’s been waiting to see. Plus, RoboCop has some experience with wrestling. In the video clip above, watch as RoboCop makes World Championship Wrestling history and kills kayfabe more than any of Kevin Sullivan’s hokey booking ideas.
Signature Spot: I’ll Buy That for a Dollar (Lariat Clothesline)
Finishing Move: Murphy’s Law (Top Rope Frog Splash that causes the ring to collapse)
Johnny Five (Short Circuit)
After speed-reading Mick Foley’s Have a Nice Day, Daniel Bryan’s Yes!, and Bret Hart’s Hitman, Johnny Five is convinced he has what it takes to win the WWE Heavyweight Championship. On his road to WrestleMania, he’s managed by Fred Ritter from Short Circuit 2, who’s trying to make a quick buck with merchandise--you know the name, now own the texting gloves.
Signature Spot: Input/Output (Running Splash into the corner followed by a Running Bulldog)
Finishing Move: Disassemble = Dead (shoots opponent with laser)
IG-88 (The Empire Strikes Back)
IG-88 was really hoping to collect the bounty on Han Solo to pay off his student loan. (“Stupid Boba Fett!” “Friggin’ Columbia MFA!”). Instead, he’s decided his best route to a debt-free life is main eventing WrestleMania and winning the WWE Heavyweight Championship.
Signature Spot: The Droid Revolution (Pele Kick)
Finishing Move: IG 3:16 + Resistance Is Futile (Alabama Slam chained into a Sharpshooter)
Paulie’s Robot Girlfriend (Rocky IV)
After years in storage, Paule’s Robot Girlfriend is back and better than ever, and she’s looking to become the new WWE Divas Champion. Her entire life has been a training montage, and she’s ready for the main event. Also, Paulie is her manager.
Signature Spot: Fisto (basically a Superman Punch)
Finishing Move: Happy Birthday, Paulie (Top Rope Moonsault while holding a birthday cake)
After Mechagodzilla destroyed all monsters, he has one more beast in his sights: Brock Lesnar. He’s been miniaturized for the squared circle and intends to turn Suplex City into a smoldering mound of rubble.
Signature Spot: Hyper Kiryu (Roundhouse Tail Strike followed by Enziguri when opponent is on the ring apron); German Suplex
Finishing Move: The Shining Lizard (basically a Shining Wizard)
Bonus Tag Teams – Evil Bill & Ted and The Good Robot Us’s (Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey)
As Wyld Stallyns brings world peace through some most excellent music, their robot doubles decide to make their mark on history through most excellent in-ring action.
Signature Spot: The Wyld Ryde (Double Powerbomb to the outside through a time-traveling phone booth and the circuits of time)
Finishing Move: The Bogus Journey (Flapjack into Cutter tandem combination, basically the Dudley Boyz’s 3D)