5-Second Films Kickstarting Dude Bro Party Massacre 3


I don’t know if you’ve ever spent an entire day watching 5-Second Films’ five-second films, but let me tell you that it’s not as pathetic as you think. The guys and girls over there do some damn good work, and if a particular one is bad…. well, it’s over in 8 seconds, so it’s hard to really complain. 

Long ago, the team put out a short called Dude Bro Party Massacre 3. It’s a fake trailer for a slasher film about a girl who shows up at a dude bro party and starts killing all the dude bros. It’s pretty funny. You should watch it. Then, some amount of time later, they put out Dude Bro Party Massacre III, which was the same thing but expanded to 89 seconds, which is 11 times as many seconds (plus one). That’s a lot of seconds, and it was proof that the concept could last beyond the super-short format the team is known for.

Now they’re back, and they want to make a feature film out of the thing. And because this is 2013, they want to Kickstart it. And why shouldn’t they? It’s a perfect place for internet pseudo-celebrities to get funding from the people like me who just sit down every so often and marathon their work and then can go about their merry way, because those marathons usually don’t last very long. 

There are some pretty cool perks, including having Brian Firenze as Officer Sminkle (the film’s bumbling cop character) show up at your nearest Sizzler and have dinner with you. Anyone who donates $15 or more gets a copy of the film, which isn’t bad at all, especially since you’re going to be getting one hell of a death:minute ratio, because the team wants to set the record for the most on-screen kills in a slasher film, which I am definitely into.

If you’re into it too, head over to their Kickstarter page (if you’re lazy, here’s the link again) and pledge. It’s the right thing to do.