Best Worst Movies vol. 1

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In a departure from my usual spiel, I would like to highlight some of the best worst movies that I know about. These disgraces to the medium are always endlessly fun to watch, and I’m hoping that you guys can give me some suggestions of things I’m missing from my list. It would warm my heart. My frozen, queen of ice heart.

Here we are, ten of the Best Worst Movies out

(In no particular order.)

Troll 2

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I have a feeling most people have already heard of and/or seen Troll 2; it’s infamy precedes it. That being said, this classic deserves a place on every “Worst of” list. There are so many awful/hilarious things about Troll 2, I’m not even sure where to begin. Let’s just say, the people who made Troll 2 did not make the first
In a departure from my usual spiel, I would like to highlight some of the best worst movies that I know about.  These disgraces to the medium are always endlessly fun to watch, and I'm hoping that you guys can give me some suggestions of things I'm missing from my list.  It would warm my heart.  My frozen, queen of ice heart.

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Here we are, ten of the Best Worst Movies out there:

(In no particular order.)

Troll 2

 

I have a feeling most people have already heard of and/or seen Troll 2; it's infamy precedes it.  That being said, this classic deserves a place on every "Worst of" list.  There are so many awful/hilarious things about Troll 2, I'm not even sure where to begin.  Let's just say, the people who made Troll 2 did not make the first Troll, throughout the entire movie, the creatures are never referred to as "trolls" but instead as "goblins", (to make matters worse, it's integral to the plot that the creatures are called goblins too.) oh, and there's this scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_w4

If you haven't seen Troll 2 yet, you need to.  Right now.  Seriously, I'll know if you don't.

 

Riki-Oh: the Story of Ricky

I originally found out about this one from a list that the Angry Video Game Nerd made years ago of his favorite movies.  And I've never looked back since.  Riki-Oh: the Story of Ricky is an absolute gem of a terrible movie.  Everything about it, from the horrible English dubbing to the completely over-the-top and highly unrealistic fight scenes, is legendary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8Seb_Xxf7Y

If that doesn't make you happy, then nothing in this world will.

 

Dolemite

"Dolemite is my name, and FUCKIN' UP MUTHAFUCKAS IS MY GAME"

Dolemite was made in the 1970's under the "Blaxploitation" gambit.  Blaxploitation was a genre of film that was particularly aimed at attracting a black audience to the theater by portraying the black man as independent, empowered and revolutionary.

And then there's "Dolemite, muthafucka."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkjExJqf34o

"Whack, jack, snap, crack, boot-flap, flap-jack, face-splat, and flap-jack, and STILL coming back!"

 

Surf Nazis Must Die

Sometime in the near future, an earthquake will lay waste to the entire California coastline.  Then the beaches will be taken over by ruthless surfer gangs.  The leaders of which are Adolf and his Surf Nazis!  They're violent, they're perverted, and only one person is tough enough to stop them . . . LEROY'S MAMA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8LV1S2q2GA

Surf Nazis Must Die is nuts.  I mean, all of these are, but this one is really nuts.

 

Double Dragon

Most of you probably remember Podtoid's amazing commentary on Double Dragon. 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey0jzo7S1Js

I don't feel like I need to add anything else.

 

Plan 9 From Outer Space

The plot of Plan 9 from Outer Space is focused on extraterrestrial beings who are seeking to stop humans from creating a doomsday weapon that would destroy the universe. In the course of doing so, the aliens implement "Plan 9", a scheme to resurrect Earth's dead as zombies to get the planet's attention, causing chaos.

The Orson Welles of awesomely-bad filmmaking is indisputably Ed Wood, and Plan 9 from Outer Space is his Citizen Kane.  No decent "Best worst" list would be complete without some Ed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHRq80QNnJM

OH, also, Bela Lugosi is NOT in this movie.  He died before they could film it.  But his name is on the marquee and there is a clip of him in the trailer.

 

The Room

I think a lot of people know about this one too, and for good reason.  It's bananas.  Hardcore bananas.  Written by, directed by and starring Tommy Wiseau, The Room is a never-ending shitstorm of awful greatness.  The level to which this film degrades needs to be seen to be understood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjxYLchvnRA

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA!  :3c

 

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is the 1987 sequel to the 1984 slasher movie Silent Night, Deadly Night.  It takes place several years after the first one, and the younger brother of the killer in the first part picks up where his brother left off.  And is severely disturbed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4_XKwdSj6A

Silent Night, Deadly Night is also sorta a Christmas movie, so I think it should be on our to-watch list come December.  Which brings me to my next movie:

 

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

When Martians become worried that their martian children are growing distracted by Earthly television, they decide to capture Santa Claus from Earth and bring him to Mars for the benefit of the children.  What could go wrong here?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtXnLtOHiTk

This is such a cult-holiday-classic.  I can't wait to drink a stiff eggnog and watch this guy.

 

Battle Royale

Somewhere between Lord of the Flies and High School of the Dead lies the infamous Battle Royale.  This movie takes "survival of the fittest" to a whole new level. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-T7yPJVvXw

The fact that the trailer ends with the question, "Have you ever killed your best friend?" pretty much sums this one up.  It's also popular among various internet circles because Japanese schoolgirls with guns wearing skirts.

 

So that's all I got for now!  Please enjoy and give me suggestions on more ridiculous things!