By [This feature originally ran with the release of Pacific Rim two years ago, but with the new robot movie Chappie now hitting theaters, I figured it’d be a fun revisit!]
In honor of Pacific Rim releasing July 12, I, Nick Valdez (Flixist’s expert in Besteverology), have, through exhaustive labor and sleepless nights, compiled this list of the top ten movie robots. The rules of the list are simple: one robot per movie franchise, that robot has to be featured in a movie at some point (you’ll see what I mean later), and the list is set in stone (which means no going back and changing my mind).
If you disagree with me in any fashion, feel free to discuss your wrongness in the comments below.
10. Wall-E (from Wall-E)
I didn’t like Wall-E, but even I’ll admit how important of a robot Wall-E is. Although its nostalgic design and lack of speech was a shameless pull at cuteness, Wall-E is still a robot that lives in a future that reminds of of Mike Judge’s Idiocracy. And anything that reminds me of Idiocracy automatically deserves a place on any list.
9. T-1000 (from Terminator 2: Judgment Day)
Although the T-1000 spent most of its time resembling the dance sequence from TLC’s “Waterfalls” music video, it is the best machine in the Terminator franchise. Even more so than Schwarzenegger’s T-800 and especially greater than whatever the hell the T-X (I assume the X stood for boobs) was. The only reason the T-1000 lost because it was the villain and was cheated. I imagine if there was a rematch now between the T-1000 and the current Schwarzenegger, things would end a lot differently.
8. Astro Boy (from Astro Boy)
Astro Boy is one of Osamu Tezuka’s best works, and should be heralded as one of the best robot fictions overall, but since I can only count movies (and not the awesome manga or anime) it’s only at number eight. The 2009 film adaptation of the series looked good, but just lacked the spark of the originals. Also, the kid has friggin’ rocket boots man. Every kid wants rocket boots.
7. Robot (from Robot & Frank)
Robot & Frank is a deliciously charming film. It’s about a retired burglar named Frank who’s slowly receding into dementia as his son buys him a robot companion, named Robot, who helps him steal an antique copy of Don Quixote (in one of the hilariously inspired moments of the film). As the film goes on, Robot somehow develops a personality (as one is projected onto him) and becomes just as endearing as Frank. And when the ending hits, I challenge you to keep your eyes dry.
6. 80s Robot (from The Muppets)
80s Robot seemed like a throwaway gag, but quickly became one of the funnier (and self-referential) inclusions in 2011’s The Muppets. Its simple R.O.B. like design, its Dial-Up modem, and its offerings of Tab and New Coke make a perfect additions to this list. Sure Robocop may be cool at stomping down crime, but has he offered anyone a cool beverage? NO.
5. MechaGodzilla (from Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla)
Since Pacific Rim is essentially a reboot of Godzilla Vs MechaGodzilla, it only feels right to add MechaGodzilla to the list. How is it not the fifth best robot ever? It’s everything Godzilla wishes it could be but with robot parts, it was built by a planet of apes who lived in a black hole or something, and Godzilla can only defeat it by ripping its head off! I mean, come on!
4. SICO (from Rocky IV)
3. SAINT Number 5/Johnny 5 (from Short Circuit)
When a robot develops feelings, normally that’s when you dismantle the thing. Yet Short Circuit’s Johnny 5 gets away with it for being so damn adorable. What other robot immediately makes you think of Lou Bega? What other robot could smooth talk a woman and win her over with “More Than a Woman”? Does Robocop care whether or not a woman is more than a woman? Do the evil cowboy robots from Westworld have enough of a heart and will to get into a woman’s underclothes? Does A.I.’s Gigolo Joe- wait, yeah he’d probably care. Whatever, Johnny 5 is super cool and is the reason Wall-E was so well received.
2. Good/Bad Robot Bill and Ted (from Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey)
Bad Robot Bill and Ted were rude, crude, and totally removed. They killed Bill and Ted, were rude to the Princesses, and even try to take over Battle of the Bands. Then Station (an alien recommended by God who can split himself into two) builds the Good Robot Bill and Ted and the then they all fight and holy maloney this was all this the same movie. It was one of the greatest climaxes in movie history. Can’t wait to see what Bill and Ted 3 brings, so I hope Good/Bad Robot Bill and Ted could make a comeback.
1. Iron Giant (from The Iron Giant)
Vin Diesel stars as a giant robot that teaches an entire town the true meaning of #FAMILY and not-Communism. Which means The Iron Giant is secretly Fast and Furious Part 10 (Fasten Your Seatbelts), a sequel in which Dominic Toretto has passed on and now lives as an alien artificial intelligence. As he grows closer to a child (which brings flashbacks of his time as a Pacifier), he remembers that life is really all about fast cars and then throws himself at meteor as redemption for forgetting that life lesson.
Did I forget your favorite movie robot? Did I just forget Robocop on purpose? What are robots anyway? Feel free to talk it out below!