Jabba the Hutt is getting a Star Wars spin-off movie for some reason

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Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi have their own forthcoming standalone/spin-off movies, so why not other characters from the Star Wars universe? Makes sense, right? This may explain Disney & Lucasfilm’s nonsensical decision to develop a Jabba the Hutt movie.

There is no director or writer attached at the moment since the project is just in development stages. I can only assume they will attempt some sort of Godfather-esque space mafia movie. Bib Fortuna is a consigliere like Tom Hagen, and Salacious Crumb thinks he’s Sonny but is really just Fredo.

Who am I kidding? This will probably be some schlocky piece of garbage like Brian De Palma’s Scarface. Which is a perfect opportunity to post this training montage from The Turkish Star Wars synced to “Scarface (Push It to the Limit)”.

Turkish Star Wars Training Montage

There are so many other Star Wars spin-off movies I’d rather see. A movie about Wedge Antilles and Rebel Alliance fighter pilots would be keen, for instance. Or a movie about Chirrut (Donnie Yen) and Baze (Jiang Wen) from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story would be pretty fun.

Sure, Jabba the Hutt is a familiar name, but who wants to watch a movie about him? He’s just this amphibious space-slug. An obese, sleazy, slimy, trashy, power-hungry, misogynistic despot with an inflated sense of entitlement.

On second thought, the movie seems pretty timely given certain political figures in the news.

As a fast food tie-in, the Jabba the Hutt movie may take a cue from Spaceballs and reach out to Pizza (the) Hut. Who knows--maybe Jabba can release a bad Pizza Hut-exclusive album like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles did with Coming Out of Their Shells.

Do you look forward to a Jabba the Hutt movie? Are there any spin-offs you’d rather see instead? Have you pushed it to the limit or said hello to someone’s little friend? Let us know in the comments.

[via The AV Club]

Hubert Vigilla
Brooklyn-based fiction writer, film critic, and long-time editor and contributor for Flixist. A booster of all things passionate and idiosyncratic.