Here at Flixist, we appreciate the fine art of releasing one sheet teaser posters featuring an aging star hinting at everything (read: being incredibly vague) to come. Usually, this specific genre involves said aging actor gripping a gun and thus you know everything that needs to be known: lot of people are going to get asses (namely their own) handed to them, and probably a lot of them are going to be killed.
We’ve known for some time that John Wick was owed and getting a sequel. And now, we’re getting our one-sheet featuring the man with a face that looks like a skull, John Wick.
Here, John Wick is either having his dick measured (probable: that thing needs to be documented and recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records*) or he’s having a dapper, new, all-black suit made to mourn the death of another cute puppy (very probable: when will bad guys learn not to $%*& with John Wick’s pets?).
What is very clear is that John Wick has just taken the art of the mysterious man with a gun poster to new heights. And not just because Keanu Reeves towers over Tom Cruise. This poster is all sorts of man sexy, and deadly. And whomever made that suit should get a credit on the poster: I’ll go buy one right now and wear it to the midnight premiere, drunk, because good credit and getting to work on time are for suckers.
*Flixist educational fact of the day: “Molding the minds of America and beyond, one at a time”: The Guinness Book of World Records was created by the Guinness brewing company, both of whom owe their founding to a man names Sir Hugh Beaver. You’re welcome.