Trailers

Kate Beckinsale, Underworld vampire, can’t die, new Blood Wars trailer

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“Impossible,” to quote the trailer’s final spoken word.

Yes. I too thought they were referring to the reality of this trailer or the implication that there was indeed another Underworld movie coming soon to theaters, or coming at all. Even more incredulous still, Underworld: Blood Wars stars the vampirifically non-aging Kate Beckinsale.

Let us be very real here: the first 50 seconds of this 1:56 running trailer are comprised of shots that I thought were eerily similar to shots from the existing Underworld films (2003’s Underworld, 2006’s Underworld: Evolution, 2009’s Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, and 2012’s Underworld: Awakening). Eerily similar for they are actually shots from the old films; thirty seconds in to the trailer and I thought Flixist had been taken in by a convincing fan trailer, for I definitely knew that iconic shot of Kate Beckinsale walking off a cathedral rooftop.

Sadly Thankfully, it’s a real trailer. Those 50 seconds are just there to remind us of everything that’s happened over the past thirteen years! Then the trailer takes us somewhere we’ve definitely been before never been before: vampires fighting werewolves lycans (lycanthropes, for those of you not fluent in nerd), covens, throwing stars, Kate Beckinsale still looking phenomenal in black latex, old new old villainous types, new lycan leaders, machine guns, and almost too dark to see set pieces.

Take a look and tell us what you think of the new Underworld: Blood Wars, coming to theaters November 30, 2016:

UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS - Official Trailer

It’s fine and dandy that there is limited vampire material for Hollywood to drain dry, but some franchises don’t need to live immortal vampire lives. When you can’t even tell that you’ve rebooted a franchise, only because you’re using the same actors, it’s time to move on. This plot has already been done, by you, several times. Maybe Anne Rice’s work needs another look right about never now. Sequels are not always a good thing. And, really, if a trailer needs to tell you it’s a “new trailer,” it’s not a good sign.

The best thing to come out of this post, and I’ve saved it for those of you who actually read to the end:

KATE BECKINSALE IS SINGLE AGAIN! She has divorced her husband, Len Wiseman, director of the original Underworld. You’re welcome.