So imagine Agent Cody Banks. Now imagine the same movie, only you want to watch it instead of curse the day Frankie Muniz’s mother got drunk, took some jockey home from the race track, and got knocked up with the future Malcolm Oh-Man Middle and you’ve got Kingsman: The Secret Service. It was a serviceable action film of the spy movie variety that didn’t really stand out for any particular reason (including Samuel L. Jackson–his presence just guarantees a film will ripple with mysterious heat waves and sort of simmer into the background). It wasn’t completely original in concept or execution. Nor was it particularly brilliant in any sense. Only, it wasn’t bad either, and that not only pretty much guaranteed it a sequel, it also meant it was mindless fun that audiences, your truly included, could lap up. Nummy. It may be a step up from the teaser trailer.
So it’s a clusterfuck of impossible technologies and a credit list that goes on AND on AND on AND on AND on. Seriously? Did they forget there was another AND Channing Tatum and decide they were too lazy to delete the first? I mean, aren’t both Jeff Bridges and Channing Tatum big enough names to warrant a better credit line than the obligatory AND afterthought? Regardless, this thing has lazer lassos and dudes being lassoed in half! And Channing Tatum dropping F-bombs while wearing a cowboy hat?
It’s like Magic Mike 3! Oh please let this be a crossover. I’ll bring the popcorn if you bring the banana hammocks and body grease.