MoviePass is getting a bit desperate. It seems like every day someone finds a new way to mention how they’re hemorrhaging money and falling apart–and today that person is me!
Just like anyone in a crisis that’s clear to everybody but them, MoviePass has entered its bad fashion phase. And, much like MoviePass’s own model, its execution leaves us all wondering why they thought this would make them money.
Everyone’s selling trendy clothing these days complete with puns and licenses. MoviePass only has one license right now, and that’s for some Black Panther-based shirts and hoodies, so they better be leaning hard on those puns.
And boy are they! With titles like Hat Damon, The Shirt Locker, Hood Will Hunting, and a mug titled The Dark Roast Rises you might think some movie nerds would drop a bit of change on these items, all of which are priced higher than a month of MoviePass. You’d think, but you’d be wrong.
No, somehow MoviePass decided that, instead of making merch out of these puns, they’d just use the puns to describe terrible shirts, hoodies, and mugs that simply say MoviePass on them. I’ve included Shirty Dancing in the gallery, so that you can glare at it in discontent. They could have put Shirty Dancing on the front and threw the MoviePass logo on the back like a normal company, but no. The shirt would make you look like an underpaid employee of the MoviePass store. I mean, Shirty Dancing was right there. All they had to do was put it on the actual shirt, and they didn’t.
No wonder their parent company’s stock is worth less than a dollar. They have a great idea looking them in the eye, and they just let it rot.
Oh, well. You can check out more of the merch, if you so choose.