Nick’s Flixmas: A Christmas Story


Did you know they made a sequel to A Christmas Story? That’s like opening your gifts on Christmas morning and finding out your parents are getting a divorce. It’s rough stuff. Hollywood makes unnecessary sequels all the time, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but I really don’t understand why A Christmas Story needed one. The film gets replayed more times every December then the rest of the films in Nick’s Flixmas. There’s a channel here in America that dedicates Christmas Eve to 24 hours of this damn movie. 

“You’ll shoot your eye out kid”? Stop iiiiiiiiiiiit. 

[Nick’s Flixmas is a 25 day celebration of films Nick watches every Christmas! Nick will do some analysis, review, and just generally walk down memory lane. Hopefully you’ll enjoy the ride. Merry Flixmas!]

Haha no I do like A Christmas Story, but it’s really hard to keep liking it when it’s so intrusive this month. A Christmas Story is really the only movie where a kid is really bratty and wants a toy. If I can remember correctly, it’s the only one featuring a weapon as the main centerpiece. It’s a product of the times, for sure, but I’m sure most folks identify with Ralphie in one way or another. You know, that one Christmas where all they wanted was one gift they wouldn’t shut up about. Here’s mine. 

Back in 2001, I was just starting to get into videogames. This was way before my love affair with movies, and I was really facinated by the new medium. About two years before, my mother had got me a Game Boy with Pokemon Red (from Funcoland! I miss Funcoland 🙁 ) It was my only Game Boy game, and boy I played the hell out of it. I abused the Game Boy so much, I eventually lost the back battery panel and little plastic window on the GB’s screen (you’d see the worn out glue that held it in place). I loved that game. But in 2001, Pokemon Gold became a thing. A year before my street neighbor, Martin, had gotten himself a Game Boy Color. You kids don’t realize how good you have it with your Vitas and 3DS, that thing was a marvel. You mean I can play Pokemon in color? Just putting Pokemon Red in and seeing that atrocious red tinge on all the pixels was enough for me. I knew I needed he next Pokemon game. 

The only problem was, like Ralphie, something was holding me back. It was f**king expensive. I asked for it like a crazy man. Every day I’d bug my mom knowing full well there’s no way she could afford it. But, like magic, everything worked out. That Christmas Eve we went to my Aunt’s place as we always would. My sister and I would sit there watching her kids opening their gifts and we’d be a little sad. Every year, my aunt went full out and got them the most expensive things, yet those kids would complain. It was a weird concept to us. My sister and I knew to be appreciative of the little we had because our family was in a constant struggle (that year we had moved three times to avoid eviction). I’d see them cry when something wasn’t the right color or size, and they’d throw it to the side. It was hard to watch, especially since that year proved to be one of the worst of all. But it was especially harder on my parents.

As per tradition we’d open our presents on Christmas morning, but after that spectacle, our parents decided to let us open one gift on Christmas Eve. My choice? I went for the smallest box knowing full well the smallest boxes yield the greatest results. And I was totally right. It was a Game Boy Color. I’ve only “jumped for joy” one time in my life, and it was then. I was crying, my parents were crying, and for that one brief moment (and years after of Gold before the cartridge eventually gave out), the worry faded away. You can say material goods don’t bring you happiness, but when something is filled with love, it’s hard to deny what it can do for you. 

And yes, I shot my eye out with it. Don’t ask questions. 

Tomorrow? Nick’s Flixmas is going full on The Nightmare Before Christmas on you suckas.