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Review: Final Destination 5

I mean, you know what you’re signing up for, don’t you?

You’re either excited that there’s another Final Destination film out or your not, and if you’re in the former group then you’re going to see Final Destination 5 and if you’re in the latter group you’re probably not going to see Final Destination 5. Kind of makes my review a bit irrelevant.

I suppose I can say that if you were worried about the franchise attempting to change anything at all about itself you shouldn’t be. This is the Final Destination we’ve all come to know and love (or hate) and it delivers on exactly what it promises to deliver on: death, guts, the most creative kills around and a plot you could literally not have around. You probably think there isn’t more to say, but there is.

The real beauty of the Final Destination series is that they’re the same movie every single time just with different people to kill, but in this one series’ case that’s a really good thing. The entire point of this slasher series is to kill people in the most dramatic, absurd and gorey way possible (and this time in 3D!). If you tune into these for a plotline you’re going to be seriously disappointed. The simple fact that the creators of the series’ main villain isn’t even a character, but just a vague notion of “death” perfectly shows what the focus of these films are.

One of the best parts of the series is that all the characters get to die twice. The first time we get to see how they would all die if death wasn’t avoided and then we get to see them all die again throughout the film. This has led to some the goriest and of the wall opening sequences in any genre of film ever. If you’ve seen the entire series you’ll be happy to know that FD5‘s opening sequence almost rivals the second film’s amazing car crash. This time around it’s a group of 20 somethings headed to a company retreat when the bridge their on suddenly begins to collapse. Luckily for six of the people Sam Lawton (Nicholas D’Agosto) has a vision of their deaths and gets them off the bridge in the nick of time.

Of course death isn’t happy about this and starts to come after them in convoluted and not so convoluted ways. The best part of the series is attempting to figure out how each person is going to die in a gory mess. the finest kills throughout this film are great not because of their (3D) gore, but because of the anticipation of their (3D) gore. Final Destination 5 might handle this better than any of its predecessors at times, especially with a kill involving a rusty screw and a gymnast’s feet. That’s not to say that the film isn’t full on gore. Almost every elaborate kill coated the screen in blood and guts and even when they didn’t really need to show it they do anyway. I’m not sure if this film featured the cleverest kills of the series, but it definitely has some of the bloodiest. It’s very clear that for this film the filmmakers completely gave up on story and focused all the attention on killing people. 

Or so it seems for most of the film, especially when the Candyman himself, Tony Todd, returns to the series once again just to be a creepy coroner and give exposition (brilliant casting, by the way). By the end of the film, however, you’ll realize that the movie has been much smarter than you’ve given it credit for. There’s a twist here that you most likely won’t see coming, but that they’ve brilliantly hinted at throughout the film. It’ll give any Final Destination fan a real kick, as will the opening credit sequence, which basically gives you a rundown of every murder implement ever used in all the previous films. This is definitely one of the more fan friendly iterations of the series.

Usually I would only mention 3D in a passing glance, but for me the slasher genre is one of the only reasons 3D film should exist. The cheesiness of 3D works so incredibly well with the over-the-top stylings of slasher films. They don’t have to pretend like their taking it seriously, and instead can fling blood, pointy objects and anything else that protrudes dramatically right out of the screen like they just don’t give a damn. Final Destination 5 does this to great effect. The first kill of the film is especially fantastic in 3D and almost had the audience on its feet applauding while groaning with disgust. I rarely say this, but 3D is well worth the price of admission for this film.

If you can’t tell, I’m a major fan of the Final Destination movies, but I understand that some people may not be. For them this movie offers absolutely nothing. If you thought the first four films didn’t work then this one isn’t going to work for you either and the film’s twist will probably fall incredibly flat. These movies are about enjoying death and kills so outlandish that you can only applaud and laugh in shock. It’s not about being scary and its not about shocking you with torture porn, Final Destination is simply about stupid fun. If you had stupid fun at the first four movies, you’ll have it at this one (in 3D!), if you didn’t, well, I liked The Help as well.

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