Rumors: Wiseau the vampire, the hostage-taker, the genius


How many Tommy Wiseau rumors can you handle at once? I’m about to test your limits. Let’s do this.

I’ll start with what I shall term the Vampire Rumor, designated such because of its inclusion of vampires. We’ve actually heard Tommy speak of his vampire movie before, but never with this level of depth. I can’t get this rumor across with any more clarity than just passing along the quote I was given from a source who asked to remain anonymous. 

“He wants to make a vampire movie and said this to filmmakers, ‘I am the vampire king and Greg [Sestero, from The Room] is my vampire prince. Now make me fly.'” At this moment, they apparently have that along with some close-up footage of Tommy thrusting his arms out towards a camera and screaming like he is flying.

Not enough for you? These rumors can’t fit on the front page, so click through to read the rest below.

Rumor two begins with a pitch. This isn’t a quote from Tommy, and again unconfirmed, but here’s the basic pitch he gave as it was described to me:

“So I am a guy and the bank comes and takes my stuff away. I go to the bank with a gun and hold them hostage. There are two guys filling out the deposit slips, one is a judge and one is the lawyer. So what is that happens is I am put on trial in the middle of the robbery and these guys are doing it.”

I don’t really know what any of that means. A lawyer and a judge are doing it? What role will the deposit slips play? This, however, apparently has funding, so we can expect it to be a real thing. All right, ready rumor three.

The sitcom Neighbors that has been rumored for a while? Well, it’s a real thing. Tommy has already done some shooting on it, and it’s about as good as you’d expect. From what I understand, he’s shooting using whatever actors he can find who are willing to act without getting paid and sign ridiculous contracts. 

As for the future of The Room, Tommy is pretty certain that a 3D version is imminent. Why? Because he had shot it originally with film and video right next to one another, and he is planning to combine them together, producing a 3D effect.  

As for Tommy’s upcoming videogame show, the Tommy Wi-show, we already know that the basic premise will involve travel to distant planets. Tommy is captured by aliens and forced to play videogames. Based on my chat with him, we can assume that he’s basically a talking head, given stuff to say about games. So your dreams of hearing, “Oh hi Marcus” during your next Gears session can pretty much fade away. He’s an actor and he reads a script.

I don’t know what to do with any of this information.