Seagalogy 101: Lightning Bolt Energy Drink

0

[This week we’ll be looking at a few bits from Seagology: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal by Vern (Titan Books). Recently updated and expanded, the book tracks Steven Seagal’s career from the big screen to the small screen. It also includes some of Seagal’s side ventures. Seagology comes out today. Look for our spotlight on the book this Friday.]

Our next class in Seagalogy involves a discontinued energy drink that bore the name, face, and approval of Steven Seagal. First released in 2005, Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink was available in two flavors: Cherry Charge and Asian Experience. As Vern points out in his book Seagalogy, a third flavor (Root Beer Rush) had been mentioned on the Lightning Bolt website, but there is no evidence that it was ever released. A new flavor or revamp of Lightning Bolt called Zen Fuel was trademarked in 2010, but nothing has come of that either.

On each 16-ounce can was Seagal’s face and signature along with the words “A natural energy drink packed with vitamins and exotic botanicals.” The Seagal-approved blend included goji berries, green tea, ginseng, guarana, yerba mate, ginkgo biloba, and cordyceps. You’ve probably heard of all of these ingredients except cordyceps. Vern explains:

[Cordyceps] are a rare and expensive Chinese medicine that will only grow in certain regions of Asia above 3,000 meters… They are a parasitic fungi that grows on caterpillar larvae and moths while they hibernate. That’s why the literal translation of their Chinese name is “winter worm summer grass.” If you ever saw the BBC nature documentary series Planet Earth, cordyceps are the weird fungus that grew out of the ant’s head.

I spotted some unopened cans of Lightning Bolt on eBay today: opening bid for Cherry Charge is $19.95, opening bid for Asian Experience is $36. Lightning Bolt is still easier to find than the discontinued-bordering-on-mythical Steven Seagal aftershave, Scent of Action.

After the cut, an ad for Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink.

 

Previous Class in Seagalogy:

Seagalogy 101: Songs from the Crystal Cave

Another class in Seagalogy 101 tomorrow…

Hubert Vigilla
Brooklyn-based fiction writer, film critic, and long-time editor and contributor for Flixist. A booster of all things passionate and idiosyncratic.