Trailers

Seven Stages to Achieve Eternal Bliss trailer murders itself in your bathtub

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Here’s a good rule of thumb: If you live in a city, and you can somehow afford your rent without breaking into a cold sweat every time you spend twenty dollars on a whim, then you’re probably in a horror movie. Either it’s haunted, or your landlord is a serial killer, or there’s some form of catastrophic infestation–or maybe cultists keep breaking in to kill themselves in your bathtub.

That’s the case in this trailer for the wonderfully absurd looking Seven Stages to Achieve Eternal Bliss. In it, a couple find that their impossibly affordable apartment was once the home of a cult leader who killed himself in the bathtub. Now, cultists keep breaking in and sacrificing themselves in that same tub. It’s a predicament the couple decides to embrace as they learn about the cult and attempt to find more peaceful ways for the cultists to commit self-murder in the safety of their bathroom. The moral of the story being, I assume, that if the rent is low enough you can learn to love anything.

This looks like a bonkers blast, and we don’t have to wait too long at all to achieve our own eternal bliss, as Seven Stages to Achieve Eternal Bliss will hit theaters on March 6, 2020. Or, if you want to watch it in your own bathtub, the comedy will hit VOD on March 17.

Kyle Yadlosky
Kyle Yadlosky only cares about trash. The trippy, bizarre, DIY, and low-budget are his home. He sleeps in dumpsters and eats tinfoil. He also writes horror fiction sometimes.