Sharknado 6 will have time travel


Sharknado is an annual franchise that, in its heart of hearts, seeks to answer one nagging question: How do you jump the shark when the sharks can fly?

Given the synopsis for the Syfy’s upcoming Sharknado 6, I’d say they’re trying their damnedest to make that leap.

In this installment, Fin will be able to use the time-traveling power of sharknados (sure) to not only to save the world, but also to resurrect his dead family (sure). Along the way, he’s going to fight Nazis and dinosaurs (sure), and he’ll go as far as to take a ride on Noah’s ark (sure). 

Does the idea of a man time-traveling onto Noah’s ark to murder sharks with a chainsaw sound amazing to me? Well, yeah, of course. I’m just your regular Joe after all. The problem here is that the only way to make a “good-bad” movie is to have a genuine affection and sincere objective in what you’re making. If you say, “You know what would be dumb?” and then make a movie off of that dumb idea, all you’ve made is a dumb movie. This is where the Sharknado series will always miss the mark.

But somehow the most frustrating part of Sharknado 6’s synopsis comes at the end. “This time, it’s not how to stop the sharknados, it’s when.”

When? How about in the first fucking movie? What have they been doing this whole time? Call in the White House for assistance. Donald Trump reportedly hates sharks and wants all of them expunged from existence. This is the one natural disaster he would work to prevent.

Sharknado 6 will premiere July 25, 2018

‘Sharknado 6’ Will Be a Time Traveling Adventure; Art, Info and Date [Bloody Disgusting]

Kyle Yadlosky
Kyle Yadlosky only cares about trash. The trippy, bizarre, DIY, and low-budget are his home. He sleeps in dumpsters and eats tinfoil. He also writes horror fiction sometimes.