Sir Isaac Newton: Physicist, mathematician, action hero


A movie about Sir Isaac Newton as an action hero is in development because that’s how gravity works. It’s coming courtesy of Rob Cohen, director of The Fast and the Furious and xXx (not to be confused with XXX). Cohen will also supervise the graphic novel based on the script, which will likely be written on the back of a paper placemat in crayon. The story will focus on Newton as chief dick of the British Mint, and an intercourse contraption to all the comely strumpets. (♫ Isaac Newton! ♫ Damn right!)

This is almost historically accurate. In 1696, Newton became a warden of the Royal Mint, and served as Master of the Royal Mint for the last 30 years of his life. His position wasn’t action packed, unless you consider the recoining of England and stopping counterfeiters action. Gene Kirkwood has signed on to produce, and his previous credits include Rocky and UHF. The latter is fitting given the joke about Ghandi II. No word on if the film’s theme song will be “Ruckzuck” by Kraftwerk.

With Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Mark Twain’s Autobiography 1910-2010 by Michael Kupperman, and that script about Leonardo da Vinci as a Renaissance bad ass, we’re basically getting closer and closer to a historical superteam movie — like The Avengers but with fake real people. So we have Lincoln, da Vinci, Twain, and Newton — who else should join The Historical Society? (George Washington Carver is a given.)

[Via The Hollywood Reporter]

Hubert Vigilla
Brooklyn-based fiction writer, film critic, and long-time editor and contributor for Flixist. A booster of all things passionate and idiosyncratic.