[Some Like It Hot shines a light on the men and women of film who have captured our hearts, and oftentimes, our libidos. It celebrates the cinematic sirens and strongmen of the silver screen that give us the vapors, tug on our heartstrings, and leave us hungry for more. Also, they’re really effing hot.]
If you’re like me, you love movies. Sometimes, you might even love them so much it impacts you economically, seeing them week in and week out. If that’s the case, you may well have looked into gainful employment at the local megaplex in your town/city/hamlet/underground utopia, and if you have, you’re all too familiar with the madness of young adult book adaptations (re: Twilight) and their midnight launches.
If you are, in fact, like me, you’re going to be one of the lucky ones slinging popcorn to the tweens with their faces painted in the garish colors of the Capital from The Hunger Games tonight until 2:00 AM. And, if you’re like me, it doesn’t matter because you know that once the theaters thin out, you’ll get to spend 142 minutes watching the smoking hot Jennifer Lawrence shooting other people with a bow and arrow. If you’re even remotely like me, Jennifer Lawrence makes you hot and/or bothered.
Have I secured your attention? Good. Read on for more sexy Jennifer Lawrence talk and even sexier Jennifer Lawrence pictures (and video!).
Name: Jennifer Shrader Lawrence
Birthday: August 15th, 1990 (21)
Partial filmography: Winter’s Bone, The Beaver, X-Men: First Class, The Hunger Games (view her IMDb page here)
Background: Born in Louisville, Kentucky to the head of a childrens’ camp and a former head of a concrete construction firm, Jennifer Lawrence acted in plays growing up. But at the ripe, young age of fourteen, she decided that she was ready for the big time. Finishing high school a walloping two years early, Lawrence persuaded her parents to bring her to, as they say in Kentucky, the big city (New York City, that is) to find an agent and take the world by storm.
She got her start in bit parts on shows like Cold Case, Monk, and Medium before landing a regular role on The Bill Engvall show, all the while appearing in small films like Garden Party and The Burning Plain. Then, after the show ended, she got her big breakthrough role in the moody, gritty Winter’s Bone and the world took notice. Appearing in three widely-released films in 2011 alone (The Beaver, Like Crazy, and X-Men: First Class), the stage has been set for Lawrence to cement her place in the annals of teen superstardom next to Kristen Stewart and Jonothan Taylor Thomas when she fills the shoes (or whatever footwear they have in the vaguely-defined future of The Hunger Games) as Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire.
Best feature: Her eyes.
Yeah, I bet you thought I was going to say something else, didn’t you? Well, I like to keep my readers on their toes. But seriously, J-Law (is that a thing? I dont know today with you kids and your Snoopy the Dog hip-hopscotch) has those piercing eyes that are constantly abuzz with emotion. You can have a super rockin’ bod, but if there’s nothing going on in your peepers, you may as well be made of plastic.
Hottest role: Mystique (X-Men: First Class)
Our girl spends a good chunk of the movie all naked and blue. Granted, there’s the whole blue, scaly thing she has going on, but not only is she Jennifer Lawrence, naked, and blue, she can also shape-shift, notable into Rebecca Romijn. On the make-up process, Lawrence was quoted as such:
“I used to walk around and be like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m naked!’ But now I could walk in the street and people could start touching me and I would just wait for them to finish and I’d keep walking. I have, like, no modesty left.”
If I were prone to using reaction images in my articles, I’d probably go with something like this.
Where I’d take her on a date: In Winter’s Bone and The Hunger Games, Lawrence spent a lot of time in the woods, and in X-Men: First Class, she spent hours (mostly naked) in a make-up chair as they applied her sexy, blue, scaly get-up, so I’d want to steer away from outdoor locations and anywhere where we’d be sitting around doing nothing for too long. The obvious answer: LASER TAG!!!!!!!!1
Think about how awesome she would be at laser tag after spending the past year as Katniss Everdeen. Just make sure you’re on the same side, because nothing’s more emasculating than swallowing your own teeth in a friendly game of LASER TAG!!!!!!!1 courtesy of taking her by surprise.
After LASER TAG!!!!!!!1, corn dogs on the boardwalk. Hell yeah.
In conclusion: Jennifer Lawrence is a supernova on the hotness scale (woah, Hotness Everdeen, I just thought of that). She has gorgeous eyes, a slammin’ body, you can grope her in public and she won’t even give a care, she’s smart as hell (or, at the very least, driven), would probably be awesome at laser tag, and she can act circles around many in young Hollywood today.
Sure, I’ll spend the next two months pulling bags of popcorn out of piles of congealed nacho cheese on the floor of our biggest theaters because of her, but when somebody’s that hot, they get a pass. That’s the way of the world, ladies and gents.