Star Wars gets drenched in 3D in February 2012

0

Much to the excitement of…hm, not sure who’s going to be excited about this, actually. “Much to the disappointment of moviegoers everywhere” would be more appropriate. Eh, whatever, the news I’m trying and failing to lead into is this: George Lucas’s Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace will be returning to theaters on February 10, 2012, now enhanced in 3D.

Oh. Joy.

The film that dares to not have a protagonist while mixing tensionless action scenes with boring politics, poop jokes, and merchandise bait is back. We’ve known for a little while that Lucas planned to do 3D revamps of all six Star Wars films, eventually adding yet another layer of technological slop on top of his original trilogy. Until then, they’ve chosen to kick it off with a whimper by releasing the films in chronological order, which means that even Star Wars fans who are more forgiving of the constant revisions of the original trilogy will have to wait for the rehashes of the dreadful prequel trilogies.

And it’s going to work, too. No matter how much fans can deride the quality of the prequels, they will go see them again, out of some sort of obligation. I did a quick, highly unscientific head count with two people who I knew were obsessed with Star Wars yet admitted the prequels were horrible films. They groaned at the prospect of watching Episode I again…then confessed that they would probably go see it.

Granted, the prequel trilogy is practically all eye candy anyway – at least, when they’re not putting in unbearable Senate scenes or caricatures of romance – so putting it in 3D might make it a bit more fun to watch. For some you, I mean. Me, the only way I’m ever rewatching anything to do with that trilogy is through the critical eye of RedLetterMedia.

[Deadline via The Playlist]