The Jurassic Dead has trailer, zero originality


If you’ve ever wondered what you’d get if Jurassic World met The Walking Dead and they had a love child born of some sort of maniacal orgy with Duke Nukem, Resident EvilThe Toxic Avenger, and the special effects of Sharktopus, boy are you in luck. Meet The Jurassic Dead, a film (for lack of a better word) so derivative it skipped the direct to video stage and just opted for syndication via piracy.

So a crack team of expendable-type dudes enters an abandoned military complex for some terribly complex and completely unjustified reason wearing skull bandanas (because that’s what cool guys do–aside from not look at explosions, ya know), and they’re confronted by an enemy that’s beyond their abilities to handle (and will certainly kill a bunch of them very easily, until they discover that nature shouldn’t be meddled with by science and something that should be dead isn’t and now they can’t kill it (because it’s already dead), but their utterly fearless leader (Duke Nukem, probably) won’t let them back down because they’re the best of the best and they never lose, but oh shit, monster of unusual size!

Let’s stop there. The trailer speaks for itself. But if you’re worried that you’re soon to be out of zombie dinosaur movies, never fear, there’s already a sequel in pre-production.

Somebody else continues in Jon Hammond’s footsteps on February 24, 2018.