The Stretch Armstrong movie is still a thing somehow


For some reason, people with jobs still think it’s a good idea to make a Stretch Armstrong movie. Universal recently sold the rights to the flick over to the suckers at Relativity, and have hired on Breck Eisner (he did that remake of The Crazies a few years back) as director. That’s it. No word on actors or a release date. This industry sometimes.

Okay Hollywood, I’ll bite. You want to make a Stretch Armstrong movie? Then do I have a proposal for you. Imagine all the CGI explosions, awful characters, and lame excuses for action scenes these days, but with a guy who can stretch. So, the whole movie goes on (something about nukes and brown people, typical action story), and right at the climax, Stretch is trapped. The villain has him in an ever expanding Stretcherizer 3000! Stretch keeps on stretching and stretching and stretching until he’s about to break. When suddenly, we cut to a child playing with a Stretch Armstrong toy. The kid has him so stretched out that he breaks, and the goop gets all over everything. The end.

[via The Hollywood Reporter]