Continuing the rich and obnoxious tradition of adapting famous Disneyland rides into films, Disney has just hired Toy Story co-stars Tom Hanks and Tim Allen for a live-action film version of the infamous Jungle Cruise to be written by Roger S.H. Schulman. There are no further details regarding the film’s plot, though it may involve the legendary Backside of Water and firing wildly into a hippo pool.
The Jungle Cruise is one of my favorite rides at Disneyland because it’s about as cornball as anything in the universe, yet there’s still a spirit of good, clean fun about it, and the skippers I’ve had often play the hell out of the “hey, let’s tell these godawful jokes for the fiftieth time today!,” thing. Also, Tom Hanks and Tim Allen work wonderfully together. So here’s hoping it’ll be decent. Yes, it probably won’t be. Not everything can be Haunted Mansion with Guillermo del Toro.