Tom Cruise will star in Rock of Ages


After months of speculation and rumor, it has finally been confirmed that Tom Cruise will be starring in Adam Shankman’s film adaptation of Rock of Ages, the 80s anthem-fueled Broadway show. Cruise will be playing aging rocker Stacee Jaxx, an overblown David Lee Roth-esque guy that steals everyone’s girlfriend. This also means that you’ll finally get to fulfill your lifelong dream of hearing Cruise belt out Bon Jovi’s “Dead or Alive.”

I saw half of Rock of Ages with my wife on our honeymoon. It was like needles to the penis. Even for her. So I can’t say I’m psyched at the prospect of that terrible show on the silver screen. Why can’t someone adapt Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson or Assassins? Those are amazing shows that could translate amazingly to film.

[Via Coming Soon]