Trailer: Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Dragons and shapeshifters. Ships and sea serpents. Scrolls and glowing swords. And bland, orchestral music escalating in the background. This must be the new Narnia movie. So much quantity, so little quality. In its defense, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader has a few new names attached to it. Prince Caspian was the last one to be distributed by Walt Disney Pictures, with Walden Media taking over on this movie. Along with 20th Century Fox they plan to release the third film on December 10th with some theaters getting the option to show it in 3D.

We’ll also see Andrew Adamson get replaced with Michael Apted as director, but it’s not like he’ll be able to get new target audiences coming in to see his film even if he elevates it above the source material. C.S. Lewis’s Jesus symbolism remained powerful for about four years until it got buried under all the better books we read in high school. I never finished the series, but I’d be surprised if it didn’t continue to be a Christian Goosebumps version of Lord of the Rings.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why it took them so long just…

Dragons and shapeshifters. Ships and sea serpents. Scrolls and glowing swords. And bland, orchestral music escalating in the background. This must be the new Narnia movie. So much quantity, so little quality. In its defense, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader has a few new names attached to it. Prince Caspian was the last one to be distributed by Walt Disney Pictures, with Walden Media taking over on this movie. Along with 20th Century Fox they plan to release the third film on December 10th with some theaters getting the option to show it in 3D.

We’ll also see Andrew Adamson get replaced with Michael Apted as director, but it’s not like he’ll be able to get new target audiences coming in to see his film even if he elevates it above the source material. C.S. Lewis’s Jesus symbolism remained powerful for about four years until it got buried under all the better books we read in high school. I never finished the series, but I’d be surprised if it didn’t continue to be a Christian Goosebumps version of Lord of the Rings.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why it took them so long just to make three films, it’s because apparently their child actors are hotshots with busy schedules, and the crew and/or production was afraid of filming in Mexico. Probably because of aliens. I mean illegal aliens. Wait, what?