Yes dear friends, the Sonic trailer is worse than we expected


With all thing’s considered, I don’t think the first trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog could have ever been good. The character’s reputation has been driven through the mud in recent years, so even if the trailer turned out to be outstanding and promised a fantastic, whimsical adventure with our favorite hedgehog, there would still be people mocking it just because it’s a Sonic movie. But man oh man does this trailer suck on so many levels. 

While Detective Pikachu is nailing the whole CGI characters in a live-action world vibe, Sonic doesn’t fit in naturally in any of the scenes he’s in. And that’s not even acknowledging how awful the character looks. We may have made fun of still images of him, but actually seeing the character in motion is simply bad with his proportions not fitting the type of body that he has. His face in particular looks terrible, being both over stylized yet barely animated. He looks like one of those full body Sonic Halloween outfits for kids, only with CGI fur. Plus if the movie decides to showcase his speed with the motion blur they did at the beginning of the trailer, this may be the first time I get motion sickness in a theater.

And then you get to just how terrible the use of “Gangster’s Paradise” is. It’s a good song, but it has no place in a Sonic movie and is so tonally inconsistent with what’s happening on screen. This is meant to be a goofy movie about a hedgehog that runs fast and has an attitude. “Escaep From the City” would have been a perfect fit here to show off the specific kind of style that Sonic has. We don’t need a song as hard or serious as “Gangster’s Paradise” anywhere near it. So when the song’s famous chorus comes on as we gaze like a pervert at Sonic doing some calisthenics that’s our first impression of this version. It’s viscerally unsettling. I did not need to see hedgehog ass this early in the morning, let alone a choir of people singing as I stare into it.

The only saving grace in this trailer is that Jim Carrey looks and sounds like if Ace Ventura finally lost his mind trying to rescue animals and now wants to kill them all BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. I can dig it, especially if it means killing this affront to nature and we get classic manic Carrey back. Other than him, barely any of the jokes land, James Marsden seems woefully miscast, and did I mention that Sonic looks like the literal definition of nightmare fuel? Also, here’s a fun fact for you! Sonic has no dick. Where is it? Who knows! You find it.

Sonic the Hedgehog boosts into theaters November 8, 2019. 

Jesse Lab
The strange one. The one born and raised in New Jersey. The one who raves about anime. The one who will go to bat for DC Comics, animation, and every kind of dog. The one who is more than a tad bit odd. The Features Editor.