Zac Snyder to direct the gritty, shirtless #$%^ out of The Fountainhead


Have you ever wondered what Ayn Rand’s literary masterpiece The Fountainhead would look like in cinematic form, complete with shirtless Howard Roark and Peter Keating resolute with 10-pack abdominal regions, button-down shirts tied round their necks like glorious capes and ties wrapped round their heads like battle insignia of samurai: you’re in fucking luck because Zach Snyder just announced it’s his next project.

Imagine it, overly righteous architect Roark, fighting the fuck out of those incompetent conformists at the firm next door, Espstein & Epstein. Roark, flying through the air, legs bent back, architect’s protractor clasped in two hands swung back over his head, ready to cast a mighty blow upon mediocrity and ineptitude! I’m hotter than when I sneaked a glance at my first romance novel at age 12. Coincidentally, I’m plagiarizing borrowing language straight from its pages.

Saying that I love The Fountainhead is an understatement. Saying that I approve of Snyder’s visual and storytelling skills on prominent display in films like Watchmen, Sucker Punch and 300 is downplaying my appreciation for his stylized filmmaking techniques. But in no way whatsoever does directorial pairing with this source material make any fucking sense. Roark would roll his eyes. And die, having had an immediate seizure from the news. Let’s not forget that handling Rand’s literary triumphs requires a skill and the time to properly tell the tale. The three-part Atlas Shrugged (2011 – 2014) was a disaster, having little to do with its source material and being well received by absolutely no one. It was a failure of every kind.

Granted, this news did break from a social media site you’ve never heard of, Vero, and why Snyder even uses the platform is anyone’s guess, possibly even an improbability. Most likely, his account was hacked, faked, or he’s just trolling obnoxious internet users for kicks. Any are infinitely more likely than this being real news.

Zack Snyder Says ‘The Fountainhead’ Is His Next Project [Deadline]