Terry Gilliam Don Quixote photo
Terry Gilliam Don Quixote

Terry Gilliam's Don Quixote delayed again while John Hurt undergoes cancer treatment

Delayed with good reason for once
Sep 23
// Hubert Vigilla
You may remember our report that Amazon is funding and releasing Terry Gilliam's The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, which was great news for fans looking forward to the long-delayed film. It seemed like the film, whose fizzled p...

Minority Report Pilot Review: It's Basically Already Canceled

Sep 22 // Nick Valdez
Taking place ten years after the events of Steven Spielberg's Minority Report (which the pilot has to remind folks existed) and the end of the PreCrime Unit (where the police arrested folks based on murders that hadn't yet happened), one of the "Precognitives" Dash (Stark Sands) has grown tired of hiding as his murder visions grew worse and worse. He eventually teams up with Detective Lara Vega (Meagan Good of Cousin Skeeter fame)  and their adventures in policing begin or something like that.  Pilots are under an extreme amount of pressure. They've got to hook their respective viewers within the first fifteen minutes or so while showing why the world they inhabit is worth investing in. Report actually accomplishes this pretty well. The opener follows Dash as he frantically dashes toward the scene of a crime while showing off the pilot's impressive budget (which I don't expect to hold weight through the rest of the series, much like Almost Human). It's a subtle and intelligent sequence as Dash struggles knowing the entire time he'll fail. But there's never any hand holding during this, and we're left to infer it from his actions. And when he does indeed fail to stop the murder, it's as simple as watching him turn away from the scene since he's witnessed so much of it already. Unfortunately, that same light touch doesn't extend past that point. After the first ten or some minutes, Report basically becomes every cop show ever. I don't really understand why, but for some reason Report constantly exposits story details. Lines like "They remind you of having no parents, that's why you came to me." or along those lines. It loses that subtlety in favor in overtly stating how other characters relate to other ones, and it's not like those relationships are particularly inventive either. You'd figure with a world 50 years in the future, the future police would have better conversations than "I'm a future police." That's not really what they say, but I hope you get my point. I guess I'm still sour about Almost Human. That show had a much better handled premise. It's not all bad as there are a few nuggets that might prove interesting later, but this pilot had a ton of rough edges. Normally I'd say to forgive a pilot's bad writing if the cast or premise were gripping enough, but I don't feel that way here. I'd love for Meagan Good to have a great starring vehicle, but since she yet again plays second fiddle to some white guy, I'm over it.  Either way you fall on this, Fox will cancel this after the first season...if it even gets to that point.  Final Thoughts:  Meagan Good is great, but I wish the pilot exploited her body less. It really undermines how good of a detective she is when we're all ogling a picture of her in a bikini.  We're all lucky I didn't use "Meagan Bad"  Wilmer Valderama is here. That's all I have to say about that.  "When I was your age, we used this thing called Tinder. It's how I met your father." I don't care what year it is, no one ever will refer to Iggy Azalea's "Trouble" as an "oldie."  I totally believe The Simpsons will still be on the air 50 years from now. 
Minority Report photo
I miss Almost Human
As television grows more and more influential thanks to its ready availability through streaming services, networks have been putting more and more money and effort into their offerings. One of the weird consequences of this ...

Tran5mers photo

Michael Bay and Mark Wahlberg probably returning for Transformers 5

Sep 18
// Nick Valdez
Along with news of an animated Transformers spin-off, some other news sprouted out of Paramount's weird writer's workshop which Paramount paid somewhere along seven figures to construct. The writers included (Zak Penn (T...
Warcraft a problem movie? photo
Warcraft a problem movie?

Director Duncan Jones tweets about Warcraft being a "problem movie"

It's all in the timing
Sep 17
// Hubert Vigilla
Yesterday we reported that Universal feels Warcraft is a "problem movie." While The Hollywood Reporter didn't elaborate on what "problem movie" might mean, we speculated that it may be related to the long post-production...

Warcraft a problem movie? photo
Warcraft a problem movie?

Speculation: Universal feels Warcraft is a "problem movie"

Not bad but a problem, which may be bad
Sep 16
// Hubert Vigilla
Earlier we reported that Pacific Rim 2 has been delayed indefinitely and may not get made. This is the result of the testy relationship between Legendary Pictures and Universal, which The Hollywood Reporter has covered in a r...
Mary Poppins reboot photo
Mary Poppins reboot

Disney rebooting Mary Poppins, going to need lots of sugar

Sep 15
// Hubert Vigilla
Have you been clamoring for a Mary Poppins sequel? No? Well, too bad. Disney is rebooting Mary Poppins with Into the Woods director Rob Marshall at the helm, The film will take place 20 years after the original movie, and wil...
Flash Season 2 Teaser photo
Flash Season 2 Teaser

The Flash season 2 teaser reveals multiple worlds and Flashes

Sep 09
// Nick Valdez
I may not enjoy The CW's Arrow, but I'm a pretty big fan of The Flash. It's fun, light, it's got Tom Cavanagh (who really hasn't got the due time he deserves) and it somehow gets away with so much comic book nonsense. By the ...
Goonies Sleep No More? photo
Goonies Sleep No More?

The Goonies will become an immersive theater experience kind of like Sleep No More

Truffle, shuffle, toil, and trouble
Sep 04
// Hubert Vigilla
Have you ever wanted to The Goonies to be a totally immersive theater experience? No? Gosh. Well, doesn't matter, because you may get it anyway. In an interview with Yahoo Movies, Goonies director Richard Donner dropped the f...
Beasts of No Nation photo
Beasts of No Nation

Trailer for Netflix's Beasts of No Nation, starring Idris Elba and directed by Cary Fukunaga

Beautiful, terrible, and intense
Sep 04
// Hubert Vigilla
Beasts of No Nation premiered this week at the Venice International Film Festival, and the early reviews have been extremely positive, earning high praise for stars Idris Elba and newcomer Abraham Attah as well as director Ca...

WB scoops up Dante's Inferno film

Worthy of a very special circle of hell
Aug 20
// Matthew Razak
At some point in the past decade people decided that Dante's Inferno, the first part to Dante Alighieri's 14th century epic poem “Divine Comedy,” would make for a really kickass movie franchise. I mean c...

Deep Analysis: The End of the Tour - Is it capital-T Truth or capital-B Bulls**t?

Aug 14 // Hubert Vigilla
Although of Course You End Up Being Different Things to Different People"Simple thing: everyone sees him differently." -- David Lipsky, Although of Course...   David Foster Wallace is a person and an idea. That split is impossible to avoid, and more complicated than the Platonic notion that I've seemed to present. There's the person who existed, and then there's this other level, a kind of public version or public perception of the person who existed, or an idea of Wallace through his writing and interviews--a text. While the real Wallace was available to his friends and family, for everyone else there's just a public version or a text. There's something about the intimacy of writing, and I think this is discussed in Lipsky's book, that makes readers think they know an author. That seems to hold true for lots of creatives since so much ineffable stuff about your inner life is communicated through creative acts. Any connection that's made through art might seem more profound because of this ability to articulate a common yet personal feeling of joy, sadness, or affection between people who've never met. Art can make you feel less alone, and it can help you understand someone else. But often only so far or just a facet. There's another layer to this person/persona split, of course. I'm not judging the propriety of it (at least for now), but people can do whatever they want with that public idea of a person. They can find meaning in the persona, impose their own meanings on the persona, reconsider the persona without considering the actual multi-faceted person behind that public idea. It's one reason why David Foster Wallace winds up meaning different things to different people, or being a different person to different people--a literary wunderkind, a rockstar of the book world, the next _______, the voice of _______, a friend, a confidant, a relative, etc. Recently, a piece by Molly Fischer ran in New York Magazine's The Cut considered David Foster Wallace a hypermasculine hub for chauvinistic literary bros. (Sometimes a big, hard novel is just a cigar. A really big, hard cigar.) Kenny in his piece for The Guardian touches on this when he writes, "Something I've noticed since Wallace's suicide in 2008 is that a lot of self-professed David Foster Wallace fans don't have much use for people who actually knew the guy. For instance, whenever Jonathan Franzen utters or publishes some pained but unsparing observations about his late friend, Wallace's fanbase recoils, posting comments on the internet about how self-serving he is, or how he really didn't 'get' Wallace." Kenny and Wallace were friends who met and corresponded regularly or at least semi-regularly. Lipsky, by contrast, was an outsider sent to observe Wallace for a few days and then left. Kenny takes issue with the way Lipsky presented Wallace in the book, writing: In the opening of Yourself, Lipsky describes Wallace speaking in "the universal sportsman's accent: the disappearing G's, 'wudn't,' 'dudn't' and 'idn’t' and 'sumpin.'" Segel takes Lipsky's cue. But in my recollection, Dave spoke precisely, almost formally, the "Gs" at the ends of gerunds landing softly, not dropped. I can't help but feel both of these perceptions and ideas of Wallace were accurate simply given the nature of these respective relationships. People act differently around friends and colleagues than they do around strangers, particularly journalists. There's a constant self-consciousness that Wallace has when talking to Lipsky, mentioning how Lipsky can craft an image of Wallace that may not be the real Wallace. To that I wonder how much of the sportsman's accent was Wallace's own way of maintaining control of his persona, presenting a certain type of David Foster Wallace for this interview. Ditto the various asides to high culture (e.g., John Barth) and low culture (e.g., "movies where stuff blows up"). Wallace suggest he and Lipsky play chess against each other in the book during an early interview. Make of that what you will. (Sometimes a game of chess is just a metaphor for a sword fight with cigars.) These differences in proximity to Wallace, intimacy with Wallace, and personal perception of Wallace don't delegitimize Kenny or Lipsky. It's just pointing out that they each saw facets of a man and each came away with their own assessment. Wallace was Kenny's friend, and Kenny saw more facets of the man over a longer period of time. For Lipsky, he got a glimpse of Wallace at age 34 at the end of a book tour during "one of those moments when the world opens up to you." Although of Course You End Up Becoming a Fictional Version of Yourself"So we've ended up doing Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory in My Dinner with Andre." -- David Lipsky, Although of Course...   So there's a persona, and then there's a movie, and that's where these issues of proximity, intimacy, perception, and propriety become even more difficult. The End of the Tour, even though I enjoyed it, is a recreation and fictionaliziation of real events and real people, all of which is depicted at various divides from the real thing. Since so much of the basis for The End of the Tour is Lipsky's book, the film presents a version of David Foster Wallace as filtered through Lipsky's perceptions. Though Lipsky tried to be unobtrusive in the transcript, there are numerous observations in book, ones that wonder what Wallace is thinking in the moment, that assume certain answers are calculated deflections, that editorialize the nature of Wallace's smile in just the choice of adjectives. On top of that, The End of the Tour is the book as restructured by screenwriter Donald Margulies, tweaked further by director James Ponsoldt, with an additional layer of interpretation by the two lead actors who are reciting the real-life dialogue. While the lines may be straight from Lipsky's book, there is a gulf between the real people and the page and the screen. Lipsky, even in just the book, points out an artifice of a subject and journalist in forced-interaction that occasionally feels like something genuine. He likens an exchange they have to something out of Louis Malle's My Dinner with Andre. (When not engaged in a kind of big brother/little brother semi-envious duel, Lipsky in the film generally plays Wallace Shawn to Wallace's sage-like Andre Gregory.) This series of divides from the real events to the film are less like photo copies of photo copies that become blurrier and blurrier with each subsequent version, but more like interpretations of interpretations that are distorted but perhaps share an amorphous-something in common from iteration to iteration. (This simile might be just be my charity for the film since I liked it.) Short version: real life and the film are a long way apart, and one is left to wonder if there's mostly capital-T Truth between the two or mostly capital-B Bullshit. There may be another layer to all of this that gets a bit more difficult. Anytime a writer writes about writers or writing, there's inevitably a little bit of the writer's own ideas about writing that wind up in there. So while the film is a recreation of conversations between two real writers, the way it's framed seems to allow Donald Margulies to write about his own ideas about writers to some degree. Lipsky gets to represent a type of male writer, Wallace another kind of male writer, and a dynamic of masculine opposition, jealousy, and respect emerges as these personas interact. Margulies introduces a fabricated moment of sexual competition between Wallace and Lipsky, and also a mute hostility or resentment leading into the last act. Both of these fictions play into a larger theme of control and writerly chess that was real in the text at a subtextual level, but mostly they're also just inventions to facilitate a dramatic arc. The moments of The End of the Tour I liked least were the parts that seemed too bent or overshaped, particularly in the framing narrative, which was dominated by certain kinds of writerly cliches (e.g, watching a writer type in a fit of inspiration). It may have been Ponsoldt and Margulies' ways of incorporating an idea from Lipsky's book regarding Wallace's death to lend this wandering conversation a path: "Suicide is such a powerful end, it reaches back and scrambles the beginning. It has an event gravity: Eventually, every memory and impression gets tugged in its direction." To that, while reading Although of Course..., I couldn't help but pause anytime Wallace brought up killing himself in passing, as if it were just some self-deprecating remark. I'm not sure The End of the Tour necessarily needed any explicit or neat emotional arc since these things rarely exist in real life. As a movie, The End of the Tour could have just done the My Dinner with Andre thing (or the Richard Linklater thing, if you prefer) and existed as this peripatetic meeting of minds on the road. And yet I liked some of the invented moments since they reminded me of other exchanges I've had with friends, or experiences with people I know, or trips I've been on, or that secret insecurity when talking with writers I admire who are way further in their careers than I am. Sometimes bullshit feels true even if it's not factual. (This might be a messy but succinct definition of Werner Herzog's "ecstatic truth.") Then again, like Kenny brought up earlier, this justification of invention might ultimately be self-serving. Although of Course You End Up Becoming Impossible to Encapsulate"They already feel as if they know you--which of course they don't." -- David Foster Wallace in Although of Course... by David Lipsky   Eisenberg's portrayal of David Lipsky hasn't gotten much flak, but that's because Lipsky's alive and not a major/mythologized persona in the literary world. (You don't read any essays that reduce his work to dick-wagging.) Lipsky's role, in the book and the film, is predominantly a vessel into the thoughts of David Foster Wallace. Segel's been widely praised for his performance as DFW, though I think Kenny's criticisms of his performance are worth noting since they highlight differences in perception, person, and persona between people: Physically, Segel's got Wallace all wrong too: bulky, lurching, elbowy, perpetually in clothes a half size too small. This, too, contradicts my own memory of Dave as a physically imposing but also very nearly lithe and graceful person. But as Segel's exuberantly horrible dancing at the end of the film practically blares in neon, this awkwardness represents Segel's conception of a Genius Who Was Just Too Pure And Holy For This World. Kenny also wrote that the David Foster Wallace of The End of the Tour is "for those people who cherish This Is Water as the new Wear Sunscreen: A Primer For Life." It's like Kenny's Lloyd Bentsen burn: "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy." This comes back to the idea of facets of people and the way The End of the Tour winds up being these layers of interpretation by different parties about a real person. As much as I like Segel in the film and think his performance is strong, it's not David Foster Wallace in the way that all portrayals of real people are not the real thing. Christopher Walken impersonations are generally caricatures of his start-stop vocal rhythm; all Michael Caine impressions are just people just saying, "My name's my cocaine." Segel can't possibly recreate all of the small facial expressions, body sways, or winces of David Foster Wallace, or even the same physiology, but he offers an impersonation suited to the film. (Good vs. good enough. Another writerly concern?) If Lipsky's a vessel into Wallace's thoughts, Segel's Wallace is an interpretation of a persona. People and their personas, while linked, aren't the same. So what to make of the propriety of The End of the Tour? Wallace died less than 10 years ago, and here's a movie that the estate was not involved with in which Wallace's death is a framing device. It's painful, and it may always be too soon for anyone who knew Wallace personally. The End of the Tour aims to be a tribute to a writer, as if that makes the pain more bearable, and yet the movie veers dangerously close to hagiography. David Foster Wallace, the film persona, embodies an idea of a good writer with a troubled soul, maybe too troubled to live in a fallen world. That might not be overstating it either given the way the movie concludes. My friend Leah Schnelbach of also liked the movie, but she rightly used the term "St. Dave" to describe some of the uncomfortable fawning over DFW when it's not offset by his depression and underlying sadness. Maybe tributes unintentionally and inartfully stumble into hagiography or near-hagiography as they try to make a final sincere statement about the subject. There's no neat wrap-up to these rambling thoughts on The End of the Tour, because even though I'd meant to write this a while ago, these ideas remain unresolved and half-formed. I still think it's generally a very good film about writers despite some of those weaker bits, but that might be because it's so rooted in the actual conversation of two writers. Even when they're not talking about writing, it sounds like writers talking. As for David Foster Wallace, the persona on film as portrayed by Jason Segel, he's just an interpretation of one part of the real David Foster Wallace during a particular point in his life.While many times removed from the real thing, this persona makes the actual man's absence more apparent.
The End of the Tour photo
The blend of truth, fiction, and reality
I really enjoyed James Ponsoldt's The End of the Tour, which primarily covers the last days of David Foster Wallace's 1996 book tour for Infinite Jest. Wallace committed suicide in 2008 after his antidepressants proved no lon...

Jem Movie photo
Jem Movie

Listen to the Jem movie's first original song "Youngblood"

Aug 14
// Nick Valdez
I'm rooting for Jem and the Holograms. Firstly because there's a good chance this film will inspire other films like it, and we need more girl power band films, and secondly, I don't feel like we've got a good look at the fi...

Review: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Aug 14 // Matthew Razak
[embed]219771:42550:0[/embed] The Man From U.N.C.L.E.Director: Guy RitchieRated: PG-13Release Date: August 14, 2015  The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is an old school, James Bond, spy thriller. Quite literally, really. Instead of updating the premise of the show -- an American and Russian spy team up to fight world threats -- to meet modern times they simply went back to the cold war setting of the show. Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill) is an American spy and master thief and Illya Kuryakin (Armie Hammer) is basically his Russian counterpart, but he's better at beating people up. They're teamed up to rescue a nuclear scientist from the hands of an evil Italian fascist named Victoria (Elizabeth Debicki). The plot involves his daughter Gaby (Alicia Vikander) and more fashion, travel and quick one-liners than three Bond films put together. Of course the basis for a film like this has to be the chemistry between its leads. Hammer and Cavill can both easily handle sharp dialog and dressing well, but can they do it together? The answer turns out to be: if they work on it. The chemistry is a little rocky at first, especially since everyone in the film has clearly been told to overplay their adopted accents. The two seem wary of each other for the first half of the film until they fall into a solid patter. Maybe that was intentional, but it makes for a first half that feels a bit awkward, especially with Vikander thrown into the mix as Hammer's love interest. What helps it along is Guy Ritchie's direction (some words I never thought I'd be saying). The film is free over his usual over indulgences or maybe they just fit into the glamorous setting better. The movie feels smooth and stylish throughout and almost has a rhythmic flow to it that ramps up the feeling of a classic 60s spy film. He paces his action surprisingly well and often completely ignores it in favor of a solid gag or split screen montage. It's quite an adept piece of work that feels unique in a summer of action blockbuster that stood out for great stunts, but not so creative direction.  The screenplay isn't quite as suave, though Ritchie tries to imbue it with a little more tension than it deserves. It features twists and turns aplenty, but they don't always pay off as they should. The movie attempts to do what I'm going to call micro-twists. Instead of one big twist (there is one of those too) a scene will be a twist in itself. Multiple times we're shown only half of a sequence only to be filled in minutes later on the rest of what happened. It's an interesting execution and definitely works sometimes. Other times it feels forced, as if Ritchie were trying to add drama to a scene that wasn't working. As a film reviewer it was just interesting to watch it being executed, as a basic audience member I could see it getting annoying. What isn't annoying is that when the movie is clicking it's just plain fun. Once you realize that Cavill's pin-point perfect American accent and Hammer's resoundingly stereotypical Russian are indications that this film is as much a send up of 60s spy thrillers as it is an homage things start working really well. There's a certain je ne sais quoi to the Connery Bonds and their likes from the time period that The Man From U.N.C.L.E. actually grasps at every so often. Considering that most films can't even come close every so often is pretty damn good.  The Man From U.N.C.L.E. concludes in such a way that it's pretty obvious that they want another franchise (where this leaves Ritchie for directing another Sherlock Holmes movie is anyone's guess), but I think it's just a little too quirky to get the audience to come. That might be a good thing in the end. The movie feels like something from out of the past, especially with its lackluster plotting. It's smooth and crammed with tight dialog. It forgoes big action for clever direction. It focuses on the spies and not the toys, even if it isn't so good at the spy thing. It isn't always successful, but when it works  The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is a film out of its time.
U.N.C.L.E. photo
Smooth operator
Does anyone below the age of 60 have super fond memories of the original TV show The Man From U.N.C.L.E.? I'm sure they're out there, but the new movie remake can't really be hitting on the nostalgia gas that hard when half t...

Supergirl Trailer photo
Supergirl Trailer

Newest Supergirl trailer is a super tease

Aug 11
// Nick Valdez
Now that we're branching out to TV, I can finally talk about Supergirl on CBS. From part of the team that brought you Arrow and The Flash on The CW (which we'll definitely talk about soon), Supergirl will follow the life of K...

Snaxist: Denny's Slamtastic Four Menu

Aug 05 // Nick Valdez
The Invisible Woman Slam Usually I take on these foods alone, so I had grown accustomed to getting one dish at a time. As I finished one I'd slowly make my way to the next in an effort to become one amorphous blob of constant digestion. But on this trip I hadn't calculated how bringing others would alter the rhythm and that was the first of my many, many mistakes. They had brought us all of the food at once (sans desserts because I'm not made of money, you jerks) and it was certainly a sight to behold. In fact, I had become intimidated by the beast in front me. Staring the lion in the eyes, frozen until one of us made our move. If I had been alone, this would've been the end of my journey. Thankfully, one of my compadres began eating and I snapped out of my fear coma.  The Invisible Woman Slam's main feature are its blueberry pancakes topped with other fruit as everything else is what you'd expect from a standard grand slam. Covered with a sickly sweet glaze from the fruit, it was quite tasty really. Pancakes weren't too doughy, and it was definitely better before you added syrup. Lots of soaked in flavors (without feeling like I ate a stick of butter), but very heavy. But this would be far from the heaviest thing on the menu.  The Fantastic Four-Cheese Omelette As this was the first dish I took on alone, I felt ill prepared. I had recently moved to New York and grown accustomed to a lighter diet lacking in all of the heavy meats and cheeses I used to eat back in my hometown of Viking Land. It's like I wanted to climb Mt. Everest after retiring thirty years prior. But like with any massive undertaking, I couldn't climb the mountain until I took the first step. But I was still so nervous. What would this beast do to me? How would I change? Could I just go back to the modern world once I've become one of the savages? So I took the first bite and, nevertheless, slowly became the monster I used to know.  The Fantastic Four Cheese Omelette (neglecting a representation for Mr. Fantastic since that dude's such a nerd, and nerds don't eat food) was touted as stuffed with cheddar, swiss, parmesan, and mozzarella cheeses and it certainly delivered on that front. As a startup meal (or if it's you're only dish seeing as how the rest of you are smart thinking adults) it's perfectly fine, but it's basically the same as any other omelette du fromage. I never did get my two pieces of toast though. I know I had I food mountain in front of me, but I feel like I really did miss out on that toast.  The Thing Burger  Before I knew it, the omelet was gone. I faded in and out slowly. The plates in front of me were just some random blurring motions. Yet, I still felt the hunger. It compelled me forward as my conscious mind begged for it to stop. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" "Please, stop." and "Is this truly what you want out of life?" were all questions my body seemed to ignore as I moved toward the next dish. I felt my jaw unhinge in order to completely destroy the meal in front me. In my savage mind, it was the only way. But my body was slowly changing. Palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy, and there was vomit on my sweater already, mom's spaghetti... The Thing Burger was the item I most looked forward to. It's the only truly different item on the menu as the other dishes are variations of ones available on the other movie menus. A burger patty topped with hash browns, bacon, an egg, and something called "The Thing Sauce" (seriously) all between two cheesy buns. It's the perfect breakfast burger, and I'll go as far to say it's the best thing on the new menu (pun intended). Each bite was great, and I'd imagine this would taste wonderfully after a night of getting drunk off your ass. Couldn't figure out what the sauce was as the taste of the burger kind of blended into one indistinct flavor (though the bottom bun was soaked from the grease), but at least the taste was interesting overall. Fries were good, too.  The Human Torch Skillet The burger was eliminated, so I was ready to move on to the final dish. But thanks to my inner turmoil, my monstrous form was weakened. Staring into the face of the dish's black abyss I thought of my family back home. What would they say if they saw me now? How would they judge what their son has become? Are you proud of me now, Ma? Are you proud of your son? Look what they've done to me! Look at what I've done to them! I've reached into the abyss and pulled out the heart of god!  The Human Torch Skillet is a spicy variation of the skillet available on Denny's other movie menus.  With jalapenos, pepper jack cheese (which I didn't notice until I packed the dish into a to go plate because it blended in with the egg) and pico de gallo, there was no way I could finish this. It's smothered in cholula (which is a smoky hot sauce) and that completely killed the rest of the dish's flavor. Even as I tried mixing it with the cheese or sausage, all I tasted was cholula. That's also why the dish was so dark. It's a shame since this could've been good. It's the furthest thing from spicy, and it's the furthest thing from tasty.  Overall, this was a fun trip and Denny's is the only restaurant that experiments with its food like this. Sure my stomach is pretty much demolished at this point, but I always love the madness of it all. But, sadly, I'll never be the same again. 
Snaxist photo
It's sloberrin' time
Every so often, there'll be a product with a spark of genius. Something that comes along and makes you think, "Why wasn't this a thing already?" like donuts based on Ghostbusters, Avengers cereal, and even that time Denny's c...

Deadpool Trailer photo
Motherf**ckers and avocados
We've been anticipating this first bit of footage for some time. After all of the talk, all of the images, all of those years stuck in development, and all of the advertising, Deadpool is actually film that exists. The traile...

Don't bother with MTV's Scream TV Series

Aug 04 // Nick Valdez
We're at the halfway point in the series (episode six is premiering later this evening), and I feel like I'm hate watching just to see how much worse things could get. This completely goes against the showrunners' initial philosophy of getting the viewers at home to care about the characters as much as possible before offing them one by one. It's also a terrible way to watch slasher films. When you start rooting for the killer themselves, the film isn't taken very seriously. Take mid-franchise Nightmare on Elm Street, for example. When those films started making themselves all about Freddy's antics (and only served to develop his personality rather than any of his victims), the goofy tone made it a horror franchise in name only. While there's definitely an audience for that kind of property, it's definitely not what MTV's Scream wants.  But I don't know where it all went wrong. Things started off sort of promising in the pilot episode (written by film series writer Kevin Williamson), but that episode was full of so many problems. Pointed dialogue, archetypes, and its intro, while well done, only mirrored the series' openings thus far. It seemed adapting the films was a fool's errand as Scream 4 completely destroyed its own existence already. The fourth film already did what you'd expect a modern Scream to do: used new technologies in an interesting way, break down existing archetypes, and establish a new status quo (which was, hilariously, the old one). So when the TV series seemed to be taking a step back, it already lost. It would've been fine had any of its new choices felt compelling.  What are those new choices? Existing in a universe completely separated from the films (its yet to be confirmed if the "Stab" movies exist, so I'll assume this is just a new timeline or something), it's set in a town named Lakewood where a killer named Brandon James once terrorized kids in a high school. The new Ghostface's mask is based on that guy's face, too. So the main mystery of the series is figuring out how much this new set of deaths has to do with the old one. But, five episodes in, I don't care about any of it. Everyone in this show is terrible. Terrible characters make for good TV all the time, but that's when there's adequate drama to be mined from their poor decisions. Here it just seems like there's some deficiency in each character's core that causes a disconnect with the audience. It doesn't help that there's a noticeable drop in quality in each episode where someone doesn't die.  For as many missteps Scream has had, there's definitely some hope. With only a few episodes to go before season end, there's plenty of potential for the show to hit that "so bad, it's good" sweet spot. Episode three "Wanna Play a Game?" was great in that regard. It was so bad, all of the terrible decisions actually coalesced into a great sequence. Spoiler, I guess if you still want to watch this show despite me asking you not to, one girl dies while facetiming and her last words are "I can see the stars." It's magical, and the series has yet to bring that same kind of ingenuity to the table again. I'm hoping that it'll happen once more, but that's a thin hope. It's like hoping the garbage doesn't smell so bad after you've been forced to take in it so many times.  [embed]219713:42526:0[/embed] It might be gauche to judge a TV series based on a few episodes (judge the first one posted above for yourself), but I really tried to stick it out. After MTV announced it's getting a second season, I really don't see this working out. Unless it means we'll be getting a brand new cast and story each season, with some returning characters a la the Scream sequels, I can't see this show continuing. There's a semblance of an endgame in sight, but it's going to be quite a struggle to get there.  So why even struggle? Don't bother with this at all. 
MTV's Scream photo
Do you like scary TV shows? I'm sorry.
Back when MTV first announced they were developing a pilot based on the Scream films, I thought it was a great idea. I have a huge fondness for the films themselves, and barring Scream 3, no other series did more for the slas...

Review: Dragonball Z: Resurrection 'F'

Aug 04 // Nick Valdez
[embed]219696:42515:0[/embed] Dragonball Z: Resurrection 'F'Director: Tadayoshi YamamuroRated: NRRelease Date: August 4-12, 2015 Sometime after the events of the last film Dragonball Z: Battle of Gods, and a few years after the end of Dragonball Z, the remaining commanders in Frieza's army use the titular dragonballs (seven mystical items that grant anyone who collects them two wishes) to bring the long dead villain, Frieza (Chris Ayres), back to life. Seeking revenge against Goku (Sean Schemmel) for his loss, Frieza trains for a few months for their ultimate showdown. Now that Goku, Vegeta (Christopher Sabat), and Frieza have reached a new level of power, it's time for them to settle years of regret and anger. That's quite a bit of story for an hour of punches, right? That's exactly why the film deserves your attention.  I should state this right off the bat: There isn't a lot to attach to if you're not a regular fan of the series. It's made with a certain demographic in mind, and because of that, there's quite a hurdle to overcome. Not narratively, as what little story therein is easy to follow for both newcomers and old fans of the series drawn for a nostalgic romp, but grasping what exactly Dragonball Z is and why the film's conflict is so special. In terms of introductions, however, there isn't a better encapsulation of the series' tone and characters. So to make this review easier, the rest of this will be written with the intended audience and fans in mind.  There have been numerous Dragonball films over the years, but they've all been non-sequitur works which never tied into the series proper. Resurrection benefits from both past and future influences, and it gives the punches thrown in the film (which you can always argue as superfluous) added weight. The film's enemy, Frieza, isn't some random alien or purple cat god, it's a villain with an entire "saga" worth of backstory and thankfully the character work done here can pull from it. In fact, the villain's even a bit sympathetic as you realize he's just a privileged kid who lost for the first time. The film wonderfully highlights this as Frieza becomes more and more visibly frustrated as the film rolls on (which is why he's one of the better villains of the series). Goku and Vegeta also get some great character work in as Resurrection takes their arcs to the next logical step. Now that they've grown to such a power level they're essentially gods, Goku is now an awesomely condescending fighter brimming with confidence. And although the finale takes away a huge moment for Vegeta (that could've settled a series long character arc, but runs from it) Vegeta and Goku have some great bits with one another. There're also some nice scenes for the rest of the "Z Fighter" gang who're usually pushed to the sidelines. After some explanation (which actually makes sense story wise), every one is on an equal playing field. And without dragging in some of the weaker cast, each fighter gets a chance to shine. It's going to be a major pleasure for fans to see these guys back in action, for sure.  On the technical end, the film is absolutely gorgeous. Fully representative of the series, the fights take characters through various landscapes instead of the standard cliffs you'd usually see, movement is slick, and as one of the last proponents for traditional hand drawn animation it's great to see it succeed fully. Other than some odd looking CG that really take you out of the moment, the main fight between Goku and Frieza is a Dragonball fan's dream. I wish the fight between the two would've looked this way all those years ago.  While it's definitely not for everyone, Dragonball Z: Resurrection 'F' hits all the high points with the folks it's meant for. Capturing both the spirit of the original series and hope for the future, this is a full blown revival. Dragonball used to dominate action cartoons, and it's come back to take the crown once more.  Neither gods, hundred strong armies, or golden alien super monsters can stop this juggernaut. 
Dragonball Z Review photo
A legend reborn
Dragonball Z holds a special place in my heart. It was my first experience with more adult oriented action shows, and it changed my childhood for the better. All these years later, here's a brand new movie featuring one of th...

Naruto photo

Believe it, a live action Naruto adaptation is in the works

Aug 03
// Nick Valdez
In an effort to make everything you've ever possibly loved into a movie, the searched has moved over to Japan and its ever growing collection of manga comics and anime. One of the more famous over there, Naruto, a comic serie...
Pez photo

Pez is getting a movie for some reason

Aug 03
// Nick Valdez
SERIOUSLY WHO IS DOING THIS TO US? F**king Smarties would've made a better movie than this. Or Fruit Stripe. Or Runts. Or basically every other terrible candy.  “PEZ Candy is beloved by children and adults alike, with Cameron Fay we’ve created a world unique to Pez and a story that will touch the hearts of many.” UGH WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY [via Collider]
The Revenant: Living Hell photo
The Revenant: Living Hell

Art is Hard: Alejandro Inarritu's The Revenant $40 million over budget, production "a living hell"

Is there glory in difficult shoots?
Jul 23
// Hubert Vigilla
Earlier this week the trailer for The Revenant was released, the highly anticipated new film from Birdman director Alejandro González Iñárritu starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy. Set for a Christmas...
Swinton to get Strang photo
Swinton to get Strang

By the blessed three Vishanti, Tilda Swinton stands revealed as Dr. Strange's Ancient One

Not sure how hoary her hosts are, though
Jul 16
// Sean Walsh
It's like they say: "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." With last December's news that Benedict Cumberbatch would officially be donning the Eye of Agamotto as the Sorcerer Supreme in Marvel's 2016 Doctor Stra...
X-Men Apocalypse pics photo
The Age of Apocalypse is upon us
Gun to my head, if I had to choose between Spider-Man 3 and X-Men: The Last Stand as a worse third installment of a super hero franchise, it would have to be X-Men. They only messed up Gwen Stacy, Venom, Harry Osborn's t...

Suicide Squad trailer photo
I only have two major complaints about this trailer. 1.) It doesn't sound like Harley has that Long Island accent that is such a staple of her character 2.) We have Killer Croc instead of King Shark Aside from that, everythin...

Dark Tower gets director photo
Dark Tower gets director

A Royal Affair director Nikolaj Arcel signs on to direct Stephen King's Dark Tower

Ever closer to a Gunslinger Born
Jul 13
// Sean Walsh
The man in Black fled across the Desert, and the Gunslinger followed. After what feels like an eternity of heartbreaking ups and downs, The Dark Tower inches ever closer to actually existing. The little franchise that co...
BvS Trailer photo
...and Wonder Woman!
I've been cautiously optimistic for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. There's lots to like (cool outfits, there's a great cast, the plot sounds like it fixes Man of Steel's biggest problem) and lots not to like (it looks li...

Mockingjay Part 2 photo
Mockingjay Part 2

Comic-Con teaser for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 is red all over

We are a part of the rhythm nation
Jul 10
// Nick Valdez
I've been all for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay's advertising since the beginning. Part 1 had a anti-propaganda take, and Part 2 follows the same route. Although we'll eventually get regular trailers and teasers soon, they'll ...
Batffleck photo

Ben Affleck and Geoff Johns are working together on the next solo Batman film

Affleck to direct and write Affleck
Jul 10
// Nick Valdez
I'm guessing that before Ben Affleck agreed to appear as Batman in the upcoming Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice one of the stipulations was that he'd get to direct one of WB/DC's next films. Either that or Warner Bros just...
Marisa Tomei photo
Marisa Tomei

Marisa Tomei in talks to play Aunt May for Sony/Marvel's Spider-Man reboot

Jul 09
// Nick Valdez
Although I'm having trouble deciding whether or not a new set of Spider-Man films (thanks to Spider-Man joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe) is a good or bad idea, I'm definitely looking forward to them now. When they annou...
Goosebumps Trailer photo
Viewer beware... (doo be doo doo doo)
I've been interested in the Goosebumps movie for some time. When it was first announced, it sounded like a neat but very weird idea. In the film adaptation of R.L. Stine's popular line of children's horror novels, Stine (Jack...

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