adaptation

BvS HAIR photo
BvS HAIR

New batch of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice images have hair


LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR
Jul 02
// Nick Valdez
While we've seen hi-gloss production images of the Batmobile and Baldy McBaldbald's and the like, we've never got a good look at the actual film beyond that first limp teaser. But with this new batch of character images of En...
DBZ Trailer  photo
DBZ Trailer

Goku has blue hair in newest Dragonball Z: Resurrection of F Trailer


Super Saiyan God Super Patti Mayonnaise
Jun 29
// Nick Valdez
With a new Dragonball TV series taking up after the events of this film, I'm pretty pumped for Dragonball Z: Resurrection of F. The sequel to last year's Battle of Gods where Goku achieves the "Super Saiyan God" form that com...
Spider-Man in Civil War photo
Spider-Man in Civil War

It's official! Tom Holland's Spider-Man to appear in Captain America 3: Civil War


No word on the red and gold spider-armor
Jun 24
// Sean Walsh
As I speculated in yesterday's post, rumor had it ol' Web-Head would be appearing in Captain America: Civil War before he got his own movie. Today, it's official. This makes loads of sense, as Spider-Man is a major part of th...

Tom Holland cast as Peter Parker for Marvel's Spider-Man reboot

Jun 23 // Sean Walsh
Sony Pictures and Marvel Studios are proud to announce that after a full worldwide casting search, Tom Holland will play Peter Parker/Spider-Man in the next Spider-Man film, in theaters in IMAX and 3D on July 28, 2017.  The film will be directed by Jon Watts, director of “Cop Car,” the upcoming thriller that made its debut earlier this year at the Sundance Film Festival. Marvel and Sony Pictures, and producers Kevin Feige and Amy Pascal conducted an extensive search for both the actor and the director.  The studios and producers were impressed by Holland’s performances in “The Impossible,” “Wolf Hall,” and the upcoming “In the Heart of the Sea,” and by a series of complex screen tests.  Following Marvel’s tradition of working with the brightest next wave of directors, Watts also went through multiple meetings with Feige, Pascal, and the studio, before winning the job. Commenting on the announcement, Tom Rothman, Sony Pictures Motion Pictures Group Chairman, said, “It’s a big day here at Sony. Kevin, Amy and their teams have done an incredible job.  The Marvel process is very thorough, and that’s why their results are so outstanding.  I’m confident Spider-Man will be no exception.  I’ve worked with a number of up-and-coming directors who have gone on to be superstars and believe that Jon is just such an outstanding talent.  For Spidey himself, we saw many terrific young actors, but Tom’s screen tests were special.   All in all, we are off to a roaring start.” Feige commented, “As with James Gunn, Joss Whedon, and the Russo brothers, we love finding new and exciting voices to bring these characters to life.  We spent a lot of time with Jon and find his take and work inspiring.” Pascal added, “Sony, Marvel, Kevin and I all knew that for Peter Parker, we had to find a vibrant, talented young actor capable of embodying one of the most well-known characters in the world.  With Tom, we’ve found the perfect actor to bring Spider-Man’s story into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.” Sony Pictures will finance and release worldwide the next installment of the $4 billion Spider-Man franchise on July 28, 2017, in a film co-produced by Kevin Feige and his expert team at Marvel and Amy Pascal, who oversaw the franchise launch for the studio 13 years ago. Together, they will collaborate on a new creative direction for the Web-Slinger. Spider-Man, embraced all over the world, is the most successful franchise in the history of Sony Pictures, with the five films having taken in more than $4 billion worldwide.
Tom Holland is Spider-Man photo
Miles Morales was a longshot, anyway...
I liked The Amazing Spider-Man and its sequel a lot. I was hyped for the Venom and Sinister Six films Sony was talking about. Then, I was SUPER-PUMPED when it was announced Marvel wheeled and dealed their way into sharing the...

How to Do It BETTER: Howard the Duck

Jun 22 // Sean Walsh
1. Send Howard to Earth When we last saw him, our stalwart protagonist (who would be voiced once again by Seth Green) was hanging out in Knowhere with Benecio del Toro's Collector and Cosmo the Space Dog. That's all well and good, but Guardians really has captured the market on Marvel's space-y real estate, and with Captain Marvel's Kree background, we'll assuredly get more space stuff there. Howard would be swallowed up surrounded by other extra-terrestrial characters and locales. So, naturally, we need Howard "trapped in a world he never made." That world, of course, is Earth. A surly, walking, talking duck on a planet of talking mammals is full of potential humor.  2. No Origins, Please Why spend two and a half hours dealing with where he came from when you can tell a wacky story (more on that below) out of the gate? Just do like The Incredible Hulk did and get that all out of the way in the opening credits. Even his trip to Earth can be told during the opening titles. Hell, Guardians 2 could deal with that. The film should start like a film noir, with Howard staring out the window of his crappy private eye's office drinking a glass of scotch, doing his best Jon Hamm from Mad Men. If you have to do an origin, have him narrate it to the audience during this opening scene. 3. Cast the Right Redhead If we're going to go the private duck (ha!) noir direction, you need a dame. In walks Beverly Switzler, played by gorgeous redhead Jane Levy (Suburgatory, the Evil Dead remake). Levy is funny, sharp as a tack, and certainly worthy of the "of all the run-down private eye offices in New York, she had to walk into mine" treatment. We'll remove the 'nude' from 'nude model' on her resume, but make her pretty enough for Howard to recognize and even lust after. You see, Beverly's photographer boyfriend Chuck has gone missing down in Florida and she needs help finding him. But why come to Howard the Duck all the way in New York? Well, you see, there are some weird circumstances to his disappearance. Something about a swamp, a monster...something a normal private eye wouldn't take seriously. Howard So you came to the one PI in New York City that's a talking duck? Beverly nods. Beverly Yeah, exactly.  Howard looks down at his feet. Howard (exasperated) Waugh... 4. Give Them Their Very Own Groot! So, Beverly pays Howard's fees and the two set a course for Florida, flying first class (jokes abound). They arrive in Florida, drive out to the small, backwoods town where Beverly's boyfriend was last seen and Howard does his detective thing. Naturally, it is an uphill battle as he is a talking duck in a small swamp town. But eventually, he gets a lead and they make their way to the swamp where Chuck vanished. Of course, not before an old man warns them both of the swamp monster that protects his territory. Crazy Old Man It's some sort of...thing...that walks like...like a man! Howard rolls his eyes. Howard Like, a Man-Thing? The old man eagerly nods, his eyes wide. Crazy Old Man Just like a Man-Thing! Disregarding the old coot, the two make their way to the swamp. It isn't long before they come upon the Man-Thing in all his mossy glory. Howard quacks in fear and pulls out his pistol, which causes the creature to reach out for him. Beverly, she of the steel nerves, puts herself between them. The creature isn't there to hurt them, she tells Howard. Its simply there to protect something. She explains to the Man-Thing that they are looking for her boyfriend, Chuck. The creature, it seems, understands her, and leads them further into the swamp. Think Groot, just without the whole "I am Groot" thing. Also, if you're wondering what the connection is betwixt our feathered friend and a giant plant golem is? Well, fun fact: Howard the Duck first appeared in issue #19 of Man-Thing's original comic, Adventure Into Fear, and the two have crossed paths on numerous occasions. It seems only right to bring them together for the first time on the big screen. 5. Expand the Universe(s) Now, I'm sure Dr. Strange is going to make the MCU a little bigger, but if there's one thing that Marvel has in spades (besides Spider-People, line-wide crossover events, and D-list villains), it's alternate realities. Deep in the heart of Man-Thing's swamp lies the Nexus of All Realities. We don't know what it's called yet, of course, but that's what it is. Before they discuss what it is, something comes out through the other side. Something weird. A vampire ninja, maybe. Or a cybernetically-animated superhero corpse (a la Deathlok, specifically from the Uncanny X-Force arc full of Deathlok heroes). Man-Thing quickly dispatches of the visitor with its massive strength and corrosive touch. Beverly Does that...happen a lot? The Man-Thing nods. It would seem, Beverly deduces, that Chuck fell into the Nexus. Howard informs her that he is not getting paid enough and that his own reality is weird enough. Beverly offers to triple her fee and our hero gracefully accepts. Howard, Beverly, and their new friend Man-Thing step through. Things get...weird from here. 6. Give Them a Familiar Bad Guy in a New Context The trio of unsuspecting heroes find themselves smack-dab in the middle of a war zone. A paltry resistance is crushed by giant war machines, all of which are marked with the HYDRA insignia. HYDRA troops surround our heroes. Howard H-hail HYDRA? A HYDRA trooper tazes him into unconsciousness. When Howard awakens, he and Beverly are in a high-tech prison cell. Man-Thing is gone, but who should be locked in the cell next to theirs but Chuck (played by someone hunky and relatively popular, like Robbie Amell or the Teen Wolf guy)! Reunited at last, but under fairly dismal circumstances. A guard comes to take them away. But not just any guard. It's Ward from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.! That son of a gun. He has come to take Howard to HYDRA's labs to be dissected. It is at this point, upon the cell being opened, that Howard is finally able to display one of his greatest talents: Quack-Fu. He quickly and easily dispatches Ward and frees Chuck. Beverly is clearly impressed by his martial arts prowess but Howard shrugs it off, the consummate cool cucumber. He wants to escape, but Beverly insists they can't leave Man-Thing behind. Howard goes to object, but she points out that it's their ticket home. Guessing that the monster is in the laboratory, the three make their way there. Along the way Chuck tells them about the reality they're in. Back in the 40's, the Red Skull successfully defeated Captain America, and using the power of the Tesseract, took over the world. There are no heroes (even the Asgardians had fallen to the might of the Tesseract) and aside from pockets of resistance like the one we saw upon their arrival in this reality, HYDRA is the world of the day. But Red Skull is not in charge anymore, no sir, his most trusted adviser, Arnim Zola (the ineffable Toby Jones), betrayed him, killed him, and took control of HYDRA and subsequently the world. Now, obviously this is to get around the Red Skull, Cap, and the rest. But that's not to say that Ward would be the only cameo, no sir. 7. Make It a Great Escape Their suspicions are correct: Man-Thing is on the cutting table. The two scientists operating on him? Why, Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons, also from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. In this reality, they, like Ward, have German accents as a result of HYDRA's global control. The trio watch them bicker briefly before taking them out and freeing the Man-Thing. Unfortunately, Simmons triggers an alarm before Beverly can knock her out. A whole squad of HYDRA goons storms the lab and it looks like our heroes are done for. But then the Calvary arrives, literally. The wall explodes and The Resistance has arrived, led by none other than Phil Coulson himself. With him are Melinda May (possibly having become Deathlok herself), Antoine Triplett, Alphonso "Mack" MacKenzie, Inhuman Daisy Johnson (Quake, if you're nasty), and her father Cal, along with a whole squad of rag-tag resistance members. Howard Who are you? Coulson We're S.H.I.E.L.D. Howard What's that stand for? Coulson Been a little busy trying to liberate the world from HYDRA, haven't had a lot of time to think up acronyms. With Daisy's abilities, Howard's Quack-Fu, Man-Thing's brute strength, and Coulson's leadership, they make short work of the HYDRA forces they come up against. But it isn't long before they come up against the big man himself, Zola, and his number two: an unscarred Crossbones (total badass Frank Grillo). Zola has taken on his familiar form in the comics, a face on a monitor on a robot body. Zola and Coulson exchange words and a big climatic fight ensues. In the fracas, Crossbones is scarred by Man-Thing but left alive (mirroring his fate in Cap 2), Howard very nearly sacrifices himself to save Chuck and Beverly from Zola, and finally, Zola is defeated. However, the war against HYDRA isn't over. This was just one of Zola's many bodies and as a digital consciousness ("cut off one head" and all that), he's already up and at them elsewhere. The only way to truly defeat him is to find his central consciousness and destroy it. On the bright side, S.H.I.E.L.D. has a Helicarrier now. Coulson offers Howard, Chuck, and Beverly spots in S.H.I.E.L.D. Howard and Beverly decline, but Chuck accepts. Beverly pleads with him to change his mind, but Chuck says he found his calling. They share one last kiss and everyone says their goodbyes. Man-Thing teleports Howard and Beverly to that reality's swamp and they go through the Nexus. Howard Wait...you could teleport this whole time? Man-Thing shrugs its shoulders. Howard (frustrated) WAUGH! 8. Give It A Happy Ending Howard, Bev, and Man-Thing are back home. Howard and Beverly bid farewell to their jolly green friend and make their way back to civilization. Beverly is obviously still very broken up about Chuck. Howard tries to find the words to comfort her, but gives up and takes a different route. Howard Hey, Bev? Beverly (sniffles) Yes, Howard? Howard You wanna grab a drink at that bar we stopped at earlier? Beverly The one you almost got murdered in? Howard shrugs. Howard After almost getting turned into roast duck by a Nazi robot with a TV for a face, a couple'a bikers don't seem so scary in retrospect. Beverly thinks about it. Beverly You know what, Howard? That sounds really nice. My treat. She reaches out a hand as they walk. Howard stares at it for a moment and then takes it in his. He looks at the screen and smiles. Howard (happily) Waugh. 9. Get the Tone Right We're talking about a sarcastic, angry duck-man here. If anything, Howard the Duck should be a dark comedy first, with action and adventure thrown in to give the audience what they want. People can accept a super-soldier, tech genius, and hunky Norse god. A talking duck detective is going to have it a little harder. There's all sorts of humor and pathos to be found in Howard's trials and tribulations, and sticking him in the middle of a warzone is sure to have plenty of comedic opportunities. 10. Get the Right Director Obviously, James Gunn would be my first choice but he'll probably have a pretty full dance card by the time Avengers: Infinity War Part II has come and gone. It would be important to have somebody fully capable of big, over-the-top actions scenes, humor, and noir. Honestly, there's only one name on my least: the unlawfully handsome Robert Rodriguez. He has pretty stellar range and experience with the aforementioned areas between films like Planet Terror, Machete, and Sin City. Sure, next to Edgar Wright he is my favorite director, but there are plenty of good reasons for that. 11. Make the Mid and Post-Credits Scenes Matter  Sure, this is a Howard the Duck movie, but it can still lend itself to good world-building. I think it's more or less universally agreed that Iron Man 2 is one of the weakest links in the Cinematic Universe's chain (I, myself, liked it just fine), but I'll be damned if people didn't lose their minds when they saw Mjölnir in the desert. For the mid-credits scene, show us the result of Howard and Bev returning the the bar. Have them both looking exhausted with their beers, then slowly pull away to reveal a bar-full of unconscious bikers. That's Quack-Fu, baby. Then, after the credits? Maybe return to the other reality. Arnim Zola blinks to life in a new body, as predicted. He reflects to himself that maybe his time on Earth has come to an end and activates a device. A wormhole opens. Zola smiles. Arnim Zola Next stop: Dimension-Z. He enters it and the wormhole closes behind him. Cut to black. Dimension-Z is a world dominated by Zola in Rick Remender's Captain America, where Steve Rogers ends up in for over a decade. Of course, Rogers won't be Cap anymore by the time Howard the Duck rolls around, but there's no reason we can't adapt the storyline to accommodate for Buck Barnes, the new Captain America (with an 11-movie contract, it's pretty obvious he won't be the Winter Soldier forever). It's a fun dystopian story full of action, adventure, and mad science. We certainly haven't seen anything like that yet from Marvel Studios! Just imagine: Captain America: Escape From Dimension Z! 12. Can't Forget the Stan Lee Cameo! Since Stan the Man is immortal, obviously he will make a cameo complete with requisite one-liner. Maybe as a drunk biker in the first bar scene or the guy in the cell on the other side of Howard and Beverly's! I can see it now: Howard looks over at the cell on the other side of his. An OLD MAN with a black eye sits on the prison cot. Howard What happened to you? A grin washes over the man's face. Old Man You should see the other guy! So, there you have it. That's how you make a Howard the Duck movie. Lots of laughs, lots of surly sarcasm, lots of action, a liberal dose of easter eggs (Howard: Yeah, we're on an adventure, alright...an Adventure Into Fear!), and Marvel makes another few hundred million. Aside from Howard's CG, there's not a whole lot in the way of budgetary drains, especially working largely with television actors. Despite his decades of relative obscurity, people are already aware of Howard courtesy of Guardians, which is a big step in the right direction. In the hands of a capable director like Rodriguez, with a cast consisting of Green, Levy, and the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (and Kyle Maclachlan, that beautiful son of a gun), Howard the Duck could be Marvel's next Guardians.  Did I just write the pitch for the first new movie of Phase Five? Am I way off base? Think your Howard the Duck idea is better than mine? Sound of in the comments.
HTDIB: Howard the Duck photo
WAUGH!
[How To Do It BETTER takes a look at films that already exist that could use the tender love and care only a reboot can bring. Some were good, some were...not. Either way, Flixist takes an in-depth look at how to make it bett...

Rob Zombie/Groucho Marx photo
Groucho Sex Head
While Rob Zombie won't be involved in the Halloween franchise "recalibration" Halloween Returns, he does have another project lined up: a movie about Groucho Marx. And I'm not against it. Zombie is a huge Marx Brothers fan; H...

Peanuts photo
Peanuts

New Peanuts Movie trailer actually kicks that football


Metaphorically, of course
Jun 16
// Matthew Razak
From our first look at The Peanuts Movie it was pretty clear that something that at least looked fantastic was coming our way. The first trailer didn't tell us that much more, but it still looked damn good. Now we have o...
Ant-Man posters photo
Ant-Man posters

These Ant-Man posters are the best Ant-Man thing yet


Like Avengers? Then you'll blegggggggggg
Jun 12
// Nick Valdez
While Marvel's next film Ant-Man won't have The Avengers, Marvel doesn't want you to forget they exist in the same universe in case you somehow blacked out during the last five years of mass advertising. Either way, Ant-Man's...
The Martian Trailer photo
There was supposed to be a kaboom.
Although Ridley Scott has had a few misses lately, his adaptation of Andy Weir's The Martian might shape up to be quite a film. It's got a great cast with Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kristen Wiig, Kate Mar...

Directing everything photo
Directing everything

James Wan directing Aquaman and Robotech


Leaving horror in the dust
Jun 04
// Matthew Razak
James Wan has thus far been known primarily as a horror director, but with the massive success of Furious 7 that is evidently over. The director has agreed to develop and direct WB's upcoming Aquaman and the adaptat...
The Hungriest Game photo
The Hungriest Game

New poster for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2


Slick and minimalistic anarchy!
Jun 02
// Per Morten Mjolkeraaen
The second poster for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 was released yesterday, featuring a destroyed statue of Mr. Douche - President Snow - himself, and a bright red Mockingjay-symbol (spray-)painted onto the background...
The Little Mermaid photo
The Little Mermaid

Sofia Coppola leaves The Little Mermaid


Abandon ship! or water...
Jun 02
// Per Morten Mjolkeraaen
It's been awhile since we last had any concrete news about Working Title and Universal's live-action adaptation of the H.C. Andersen fairy tale, The Little Mermaid. Now it has been confirmed that Sofia Coppola will no longer ...
DC Screening photo
DC Screening

See Entourage early and free


Washington DC screening
May 28
// Matthew Razak
You're going to have to insert your own clever references to the original show for this post because, believe it or not, I did not watch it. As someone who had no HBO I never committed the time to watching Entourage exce...
The End of the Tour photo
The End of the Tour

See Jason Segel's award-caliber performance in the trailer for The End of the Tour


Learn to love David Foster Wallace
May 28
// Hubert Vigilla
The End of the Tour was a major hit at Sundance, leading to rave reviews for stars Jesse Eisenberg and Jason Segel, who play real-life writers David Lipsky and David Foster Wallace, respectively. Based on Lipsky's 2010 non-fi...
It  photo
It

"It" no longer ha director


Just cancel it already
May 26
// Per Morten Mjolkeraaen
Well... It is supposed to start shooting in mid-June, but over the weekend, the adaptation of the Stephen King-classic It, has lost its director, Cary Fukunaga. It is a shame, isn't it? According to Deadline, the True Detecti...
Pan Trailer photo
Pan Trailer

Newest Pan trailer looks gorgeous


May 19
// Nick Valdez
I'm not sure what to think about yet another reboot/prequel/whatever the hell this is, but Pan looks amazing. It's directed by Joe Wright, it's got a great cast with Hugh Jackman, Rooney Mara, and Garrett Hedlund, and I don't...
Pixels Trailer photo
Pixels Trailer

Newest trailer for Pixels is gamey


Sort of like how deer meat tastes
May 19
// Nick Valdez
I have a hard time figuring out exactly who Pixels is made for. Is it for the man children that Adam Sandler has spent his entire career trying to sell to, or is it for folks who'd recognize videogames in general? In the same...
Scorch Trials  photo
Scorch Trials

First official trailer for Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials


Smokin'
May 19
// Nick Valdez
Although I don't remember liking The Maze Runner too much, I did appreciate what it did differently from all of the other Young Adult book films floating around. A testosterone riddled film full of run and gun dumb action. It...
Macbeth posters photo
Macbeth posters

First clip for Justin Kurzelís adaptation of Macbeth


All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king
May 14
// Matthew Razak
It's been a bit since we've landed some good ol' Shakespeare on the big screen and even longer since we've had a solid Macbeth so it's easy to see why folks are getting excited for the Michael Fassbender and Ma...

First outrageous trailer for Jem and the Holograms

May 13 // Nick Valdez
[embed]219441:42380:0[/embed]
Jem Movie Trailer photo
Bit less outrageous than I'd hoped
I've made it no secret that I've been looking forward to Jem and Holograms ever since it was announced (and put in production just a month later), and after the awesome set of images we got the other day. I was really hoping ...

Jem Movie photo
Jem Movie

These Jem and Holograms movie images are outrageous


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS QUEEN
May 11
// Nick Valdez
Ever since Jon M. Chu (G.I. Joe: Retaliation) announced he was working on a live action Jem and the Holograms movie, I've been glued to the computer screen waiting for more info. Luckily we got a new batch of images plus a re...
Civil War cast photo
Civil War cast

Captain America: Civil War reveals its huge cast


Hugh Jazz cast
May 07
// Nick Valdez
If you thought Avengers: Age of Ultron had a huge amount of characters, then Civil War is going to blow your mind. With the hugest cast of any Marvel movie so far, we've got newcomers, returning characters, newly revealed cha...
Days of Future Rogue photo
Days of Future Rogue

X-Men: Days of Future Past is getting a 'Rogue Cut'


Days of Future Rogue
May 06
// Nick Valdez
One of my biggest issues with X-Men: Days of Future Past was how many characters it tried to squeeze into its movie (which is why I'm always worrying about the sequel, Apocalypse, which is ramping up that number everyday). An...
10 MCU films we won't see photo
10 MCU films we won't see

10 Marvel Cinematic Universe Movies I'd Love to See That Will Probably Never Happen


Disclaimer: Forbush Man does not make this list
May 04
// Sean Walsh
If you told me that, after Iron Man came out, Rocket Racoon would steal the hearts of people all around the world in a Guardians of the Galaxy film, I would call you a gosh darn liar. If you told me that we would see Howard t...
Suicide Squad  photo
Suicide Squad

Here's a good look at Suicide Squad's full line up


Squad on fleek
May 04
// Nick Valdez
Now that Suicide Squad's filming is underway, and we've seen Jared Leto's "damaged" Joker (which led to all sorts of tattooed shenanigans). So now we get a full look at the entire cast in costume! Couldn't tell you who was wh...
TMNT TWO photo
TMNT TWO

Here's our first look at TMNT 2's Casey Jones


And the PIZZA VAN
May 01
// Nick Valdez
I don't think we got around to this news, but joining the first film's cast of lovable giant mutant monsters, Tyler Perry (of all people), and Laura F**king Linney in an undisclosed role is Arrow's Stephen Amell as Casey...

Snaxist: Kellogg's Avengers: Age of Ultron Cereal

Apr 30 // Nick Valdez
A little bit of background. I'm a cereal connoisseur, and I've spent the greater part of my life eating all sorts of sugary, life threatening cereals. From the ill-fated Oreo O's, King Vitamin, and Rice Krispy Treats, to the always welcome Waffle Crisp (RIP). Basically, I've worked for years on fine tuning my palette so I'd like to think I know a bad cereal when I eat one. But that doesn't mean I don't dig in on Malt-o-Meal every now and then. Oh, boy I better stop beating around the bush then and get right to it. This cereal isn't terrible, nor is it fantastic. It's aggressively average. That's the saddest cereal could ever be.  If the name didn't inspire any confidence, neither did the cereal's box itself. The front was clearly just bad photoshop, and the back had a neat little decryption puzzle, but nothing about this was screamed effort. The cereal itself is basically a generic Lucky Charms. But where Lucky Charms makes an effort to at least mold the little marshmallow pieces into distinct shapes, this cereal does the opposite. The marshmallows are all circular: one green, one blue and red, and one red. As you can see in the image below, the rest of the cereal is like if Alpha Bits only came in squares. Are Alpha Bits still a thing? I miss Alpha Bits. The amount in the box was enough for four bowls (but only three man sized ones), and I only paid three dollars so it was pretty much what it was worth.  As for the milk, I have some lactose issues sometimes so I always drink vanilla almond milk. It's fantastic stuff. I'd highly recommend almond milk over this cereal. I don't mean over as in on the cereal, but like instead. Do you get what I mean? I like milk. Anyway, where does the milk come out of? Is it just a name or is there a guy whose job it is to milk almonds? Or is it like a crushed almond juice or something? Would that be just a general paste then? That's why I only drink the flavored ones. The chocolate one is the worst, however.  Anyway, don't eat this damn cereal if you don't need to. But do drink milk. Heard it does a body good. 
Snaxist photo
Diabeetus assemble
This is the kind of promotion I've been waiting for. When I started Snaxist with Max Roahrig (RIP) some years ago with Denny's ill advised Hobbit Breakfast Menu, it was the fact that'd I'd be able to talk about cereal someday...

 photo

New images from Macbeth


Fassbender and Cotillard are The Macbeths
Apr 28
// Per Morten Mjolkeraaen
It's been a year since we last saw any images from Justin Kurzel's Macbeth, but with a Cannes-screening next month, we've received three new stills from Empire, showcasing Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard in costu...
Death Note  photo
Death Note

Death Note film gets kickass director


Apr 28
// Nick Valdez
If you're not aware the American adaptation of Death Note, a manga about a kid finding a book that magically kills people when you write their name in it, has been floating around for quite some time. The last we heard of thi...
Suicide Squad  photo
Suicide Squad

Well, here's how Jared Leto's Joker is going to look in Suicide Squad


Apr 27
// Nick Valdez
Do do you got a first aid kit handyDo do you know how to patch up a wound tell me,Are are are are you patient, understanding?Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I I've tried every remedy and nothi...

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