Did you know you can make reservations to take your love to a White Castle on Valentine’s Day? Is that a cool thing to do? Absolutely. The only problem is that then you need the perfect movie to pair with your sliders of passion–and that’s where Cupid steps in, making sure that your roses are red… with blood!
Our festive slasher follows the usual horror formula. Bullied teen, Faye uses her witch powers to summon an evil Cupid to kill the mean girls who have wronged her. Sure enough, he does rise on Valentine’s Day to attack her high school, and the besieged students then have to figure out how to nix the curse and stop this monster before they all die and stuff.
One bit of mystery Cupid does have going for it is that in classic low-budget horror fashion I can’t tell whether Cupid is supposed to look like a dude in a mask or not. Are the effects bad or will it turn out our murderous love angel is actually some lovelorn guy after Faye’s own heart? There’s no way to know for sure.
We sure can find out, though, when Cupid shoots to DVD and VOD on February 11, 2019. You could always boot it up on your tablet, share earbuds with your significant other, and enjoy the horror while you celebrate your eternal passion within the moated walls of your local White Castle. That sounds damn close to the perfect evening to me. I’m sure whoever you’re with will agree.