Netflix Now: Pirates Eat Chicken Buttholes Edition

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I know it’s Talk Like a Pirate day, but guys and gals, let’s just face it: ninjas are way better than pirates. Pirates eat chicken buttholes. The only thing better than ninjas are space cadets with ray guns and jetpacks, but only barely. Only barely. But let us all shiver our tsubas and enjoy what’s on Netflix Instant this week.

(Running a day behind with Netflix Now since I’ve been checking out some early New York Film Festival screenings. Look for first impression reviews coming up, and the first full-length review on Monday morning.)

So what’s up on Netflix Instant? Here’s a ninja-speedy rundown of what caught my eye: Steven Soderbergh’s Side Effects, a few of Michael Apted’s Up documentaries, the UK thriller Shadow Dancer, the doc Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey, Olivier Assayas’ Something In the Air, and the Giorgio Moroder version of Metropolis.

After the cut, all the stuff on Netflix Instant, and proof of the greatness of ninjas courtesy of Richard Harrison.

  • 21 Up
  • 23:59
  • 28 Up
  • 35 Up
  • 42 Up
  • 49 Up
  • 65_RedRoses
  • 7 Plus Seven
  • Along Came Polly
  • Armadillo
  • The Autobiography of Nicolae Ceausescu
  • Beyblade: BeyWheelz
  • Beyblade: Metal Fury
  • Beyblade: Metal Masters
  • Blue Collar Hooligan
  • Bob Saget: That’s What I’m Talkin’ About
  • Boy
  • Call the Midwife: Series 2
  • Chicago Overcoat
  • Children of a Lesser God
  • Christopher and His Kind
  • The Count of Monte Cristo
  • Crime After Crime
  • Critical Care
  • Derek: Season 1
  • Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey
  • Durham County: Season 1
  • Durham County: Season 2
  • Durham County: Season 3
  • The Expelled
  • Final Solution
  • Fringe: Season 5
  • The Gangster
  • Ghanchakkar
  • Gimme the Loot
  • Giorgio Moroder Presents Metropolis
  • Hank: Five Years from the Brink
  • Hating Breitbart
  • Haven: Season 1
  • Haven: Season 2
  • Haven: Season 3
  • I Don’t Know How She Does It
  • I Killed My Mother
  • If I Were You
  • Inspector Morse: Series 1
  • Inspector Morse: Series 2
  • Inspector Morse: Series 3
  • Inspector Morse: Series 4
  • Kathleen Madigan: Madigan Again
  • Katt Williams: Kattpacalypse
  • Kidnap
  • The Kids Are All Right
  • La Sirga
  • Love Actually
  • Love/Hate: Series 1
  • Love/Hate: Series 2
  • Love/Hate: Series 3
  • Masquerade
  • The Mole Man of Belmont Avenue
  • Nanny 911: Season 1
  • Nanny 911: Season 2
  • Nanny 911: Season 3
  • The Nature of Existence Companion Series
  • New Girl: Season 2
  • Nine
  • Paranormal Asylum
  • Poetry
  • Race for Glory
  • Rapt
  • The Red Machine
  • Redline
  • Reel Injun
  • The Robber
  • Rules of Engagement: Season 7
  • Seven Up
  • Shadow Dancer
  • Sherri Shepherd: It’s My Time to Talk
  • Side Effects
  • Simon Killer
  • Skins: Vol. 7
  • Somebody Up There Likes Me
  • Something in the Air
  • Spiral: Season 4
  • Sushi: The Global Catch
  • The Treasure Hunter
  • Welcome to the NHK: Season 1
  • Whisker Wars: Season 2
  • The Wise Kids
  • Yossi

New additions to Netflix Watch Instantly apply only to readers in the United States. For those in other parts of the world, your choices may vary.

Weekly Netflix Now Awards

Most Likely to Be Watched First

Side Effects

Most Likely to Be Rewatched First

Michael Apted’s Up documentaries

Honorable mention: Love Actually

Movie I’ve Been Meaning to See That I’ll Finally See

Giorgio Moroder’s version of Metropolis

I’d Want to Sleep With Me

If I Were You

The Elektra Complex in Action?

I Killed My Mother

You Wish

Somebody Up There Likes Me

Kegel Exercises

I Don’t Know How She Does It

At Least I Dug the Soundtrack a Lot

Simon Killer

Best Line About the Perils of Love

Love Actually – “Let’s do it. Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”

Best Title

The Mole Man of Belmont Avenue

BONUS: MASTER NINJA THEME SONG

Hubert Vigilla
Brooklyn-based fiction writer, film critic, and long-time editor and contributor for Flixist. A booster of all things passionate and idiosyncratic.