I’m not actually sure who I’m writing this review for. Anyone whose seen the trailers for The Boy Next Door has undoubtedly made their made up about it. It’s a trashy stalker film with Jennifer Lopez seducing a teenager that looks like he’s in his late 20s. The kind of film you’d expect to see a cast of CW stars trying to break out into film in.
There was a chance that because of that it landed in the awesomely camp area of bad film. A kind of Swimfan or Cruel Intentions. These films aren’t good, but man are they just fun to watch because of how committed they are. Sadly, despite some very valiant efforts, The Boy Next Door doesn’t reach that true level of all out commitment to bad that it really needs.
The Boy Next Door
Director: Rob Cohen
Release Date: January 23, 2015
I’ll be the first to admit that The Boy Next Door can actually be a bit of fun. It’s a classic crazed stalker exploitation film that banks on people’s desire to see Jennifer Lopez in very explicit sex scenes and our strange love of obsessed lovers going insane. Claire Peterson (Jennifer Lopez) is a recently separated mother who is struggling to emotionally cope when the hunky Noah Sandborn (Ryan Guzman) moves in next door with his uncle. Through a series of events she ends up sleeping with him — a bad move in general made even worse by the fact that she’s his teacher. That kicks off the crazy as Noah begins to threaten her and her re-establishing family.
While the movie starts out as the thriller you expect it to be things start veering into the horror zone as Noah’s action become more psychotic, slasher killer and less obsessed teenager. This is honestly what saves the film from being bad bad and, in an firey conclusion that jumps all sorts of sharks, pushes it into ridiculous camp. There’s something enjoyable about just how hard they’re trying in this film. The opening flashbacks that establish everything are so awful that it’s hard to imagine they didn’t just add them in to really establish a tone of ridiculousness. The borderline pornographic sex feels like something out of a 90s thriller and as the plot unwinds there is just something fun about watching it get more ridiculous.
That being said, if you pay full price (or any price, really) for this film you are making a terrible mistake. This is a find on TV and enjoy kind of crap. It’s not so bad it’s good, it’s so bad it need to be seen. This isn’t the kind of camp that makes a film a cult hit, it’s the kind of camp that you can’t believe actually happened. How did this redundant and cliche screenplay full of some of the worst dialog I’ve seen in a cheap thriller get green lit? Was it actually all about having JLo in a thong? That’s quite possible, but man, does it make for bad movies.
Some credit does have to be given to Guzman who you may remember from being shirtless on Pretty Little Liars or shirtless in Step Up All In or possibly just standing around being shirtless. He over commits to this role like a true camp champ. Everything the perfect over-the-top psychopath performance needs is there from the way-too-crazy eyes to the Shatner levels of over acting. When the film starts he’s just another shirtless guy, but once the crazy kicks in Guzman is up there with the most ridiculous of crazy stalker performances. It’s not good, but it’s damn interesting to watch.
There’s not much point in talking about the film’s star, Jennifer Lopez, except to wonder if her American Idol paycheck is somehow not coming through. What other reason would she have to be in this movie? It’s not the kind of film the rekindles an acting career and she can’t be struggling for money. She’s perfect for the role of milf, but she’s almost too perfect as you wonder why no one else but this psychotic kid realizes just how attractive and well dressed this high school teacher is. Again, another aspect that makes the film just terrible, but also weirdly enjoyable.
The Boy Next Door is a very bad movie with a very bad screenplay and performances so absurd they could only be described as, you guessed it, bad. Yet thanks to a sudden genre switch at the end and a feeling that everyone involved kind of knows just how bad things are it can be enjoyable — not good, but enjoyable. Do not pay for this movie, do not rent this movie, but if, late one night, you find yourself flipping through channels and you see Jennifer Lopez in her underwear getting it on with a walking, talking six-pack stick around and have some fun.