We all remember Loki, right? Oh, who am I kidding, at this point I’m pretty sure it’s less common to be unfamiliar with the MCU. I mean, I still haven’t seen the shown because I’m just burnt out on any and all things Marvel and couldn’t bother to care, but there is one I do care about related to Marvel and Loki. Marvel and General Mills released a limited-time, low-print run of Lucky Charms called Loki Charms. Naturally, I had to eat it.
As the sole proprietor of Snaxist, because I am the only one stupid enough to ingest many of these substances, it was my job, nay my duty, to try and acquire a box of this very special cereal. The idea was fun, the name was ingenious, the subtitle was equally wonderful. It was something that I just needed to experience for myself just to say I ate a bowl of Loki Charms.
Yet the process of acquiring one of these boxes was arduous. It was an unnecessarily cumbersome, frustrating, and downright maddening exercise in futility, swallowing my pride, and perfectly exemplified just how broken the release model, and even the idea, of limited release products even is. All for a box of cereal. I had an easier time getting myself a PS5 back at launch than a box of freaking Lucky Charms. I mean, Loki Charms.
Back when Loki debuted, Marvel announced that they were releasing Loki Charms as a tie in product, which isn’t unusual. Snaxist is pretty much dedicated to covering these kinds of products, but there was a catch with this. There would only be 3,500 boxes of Loki Charms produced and when they were gone, they were gone. To make matters even worse, they would only be released online and unless you were a part of a super duper secret club, then you would have to fight with everyone else just to have the hope of getting a box. So what went wrong? Everything.
To Marvel’s credit, there was full transparency when the boxes of Loki Charms would go on sale on their website, mischeveiouslydelicious.com. There was a decent amount of communication and enough notice where if anyone was interested in getting some exclusive merch, then they would have enough preparation to get to the site in time. They even attempted to limit sales of Loki Charms to one box per customer. So in theory, necessary steps were put in to make sure that the system couldn’t be abused that easily. Sad to say though, that didn’t make the system impossible to abuse and ravenous fans descended like locusts.
Within seconds the website crashed and made it impossible to even access. By the time I was able to actually get on the site after a myriad of loading screens, I was boldy told that they were all out of boxes and that there would be no restocks. Too bad, so sad, now get lost. Then you look on Ebay to see scalpers that don’t even have a physical box of cereal flip them for octouple their original prices. But because I am a spiteful man full of vengeance who won’t be denied delicious cereal, I began the hunt. The hunt for a rogue box of Loki Charms. Or rather I would have, until a colleague of mine saw my sadness at being unable to get it and braved through the mire of Ebay to secure me a box. This man is a true saint. True friends are the ones who hook you up with Loki Charms.
So after waiting for several months through numerous shipping delays, I finally, FINALLY, got my box of overpriced cereal. It should not have been this difficult to get a box of cereal. Between scalpers, crashing websites, arbirarily limited stocks, and shipping issues, cereal should not be this hard to come by. I mean, no matter how you slice it though Marvel made a profit off of this. When you say that something is in limited supply, FOMO will kick in like crazy and drive people to extreme lengths. It’s nuts, and it’s most definitely not health in any capacity and needs to stop right away. But now, let’s talk about the actual cereal.
It’s Lucky Charms.
All of that crazed fervor and psychological defeat… for a box of Lucky Charms.
I will say however that the box is actually really cool. It’s significantly larger than your average box of Lucky Charms, and the box isn’t made out of your standard cardboard. There’s a nice texture and finish to it with some depth to the images. Loki and the marshmallows pop out and the box is actually double sided. One side has Loki acting all mischevious and evil and the other side has Lucky being is happy Irish self.
But yeah… it’s just Lucky Charms. No unique marshmallows, no sugary cocaine drenching the cardboard-like cereal. Not even colored in a way to match Loki’s persona. It doesn’t even turn milk green! It’s the same kind of cereal you would find in you average grocery store. It has become very apparent over the past year that all Snaxist has done is prove just how foolish of a human being I am to be tricked so easily by food. I can at least sleep well knowing my misery provides some entertainment to the masses.