First things first. I really, reeeally don’t like that Jason Statham being from San Antonio, Texas (my home) means he has to put on a cowboy hat and “Texan” accent. We don’t all talk like that, and it’s insulting. Now that’s out of the way, I do have to admit that I get a small joy out of hearing Statham butcher that accent.
Parker is about a thief named Parker (Statham) who only has one name like Cher. One heist, he gets double crossed by The Thing (Michael Chiklis) and left for dead. So Parker then tracks that one police officer from The Shield down to Palm Beach and then works with resident hottie Leslie (Jennifer Lopez) to get his revenge. While this all sounds kind of formulaic, Jason Statham is pretty reliable when it comes to good action. He’s had some recent misses, but Parker at least looks like good fun. If not, at least you get to see J-LO in her underwear. Parker is out January 25, 2013.[via Machinima]