Welcome to our first ever Trailer Round-up. Every week it will be my task to round up all the trailers that were released this past week and supplement them with my smart yet witty comments (please like me). Iâ€™ll be providing my raw and initial reactions to each trailer, almost as if Iâ€™m in the theater with you and I paid for the popcorn. Donâ€™t think of me as Andres the journalist, think of me as Andres the handsome young man who smoothly put his arm around you as he yawned. Youâ€™re totally going to let him get to second base.
Without further ado, letâ€™s start this corral.
Welcome to our first ever Trailer Round-up. Every week it will be my task to round up all the trailers that were released this past week and supplement them with my smart yet witty comments (please like me). I’ll be providing my raw and initial reactions to each trailer, almost as if I’m in the theater with you and I paid for the popcorn. Don’t think of me as Andres the journalist, think of me as Andres the handsome young man who smoothly put his arm around you as he yawned. You’re totally going to let him get to second base.
Without further ado, let’s start this corral.
I can’t really decipher what’s going on in this movie or what it’s going to be about, butwhat's more in important is that Harold Critic McGee said “OHMAHGAH U GUYZ, JAVIER BARDEM’S PERFORMANCE IS SO PANTS!”. It’s really annoying when trailers include blurbs to tell you it’s a good movie rather than let you come to your own conclusion, but I digress.
There’s a weird guy dancing on the ceiling, dead people on a beach, and a whole lot of crying. This movie looks DEPRESSING, like baby kittens with cancer depressing. But it is Alejandro González Iñárritu (21 Grams, Babel) directing, so they already have my money. Plus, critics really liked it you guys!
Also, they spelled “Beautiful” wrong. They should probably fix that.
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in a new movie together!? Man, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World just came out. Edgar Wright sure knows how to turn these films out.
What’s that? A Pegg/Frost film WITHOUT Edgar Wright? Um…
It’s a short teaser, so there isn't much to tell from it. I don’t know how I feel about extraterrestrial hijinks or the lack of Edgar Wright. Last time I trusted Simon Pegg, I was stuck with Run Fatboy Run. I’m weary now, but hopefully the next trailer will prove me otherwise.
A tale of mistaken identity, or identity fraud, or this is the new Jason Bourne movie they've been talking about. Whatever the case may be, it’s Liam Neeson kicking ass, which should be reason enough for you to go see it.
Another exorcism movie?
You know what I was thinking the other day? How the Scream series didn’t have any closure. I swear Wes Craven has my room bugged or something.
Neve Campbell is in it, so somebody is probably happy about that (probably Neve Campbell). Also it seems to have a who’s who of young Hollywood starlets, so it's got the fap-itude factor going for it. Wes is usually hit or miss with his brand of self-aware horror, but I’ll bite at a matinee.
Oh crap. I just realized they turned the “A” in Scream into a 4. CLASSIC.
I Love You Phillip Morris
Uh oh. Did they use the word “gay” in another movie trailer? Anderson Cooper is going to be PISSED.
Although it seems that Jim Carrey is cranking the gay to 11 (to a point that it’s stereotypical), for some reason this homosexual love story already has more heart in it than anything Katherine Hiegl is in (she's ruining love for all breeders). I’m glad to see that after sitting on the shelf for so long that it’s finally coming out (I'd make a closet joke, but Alex already beat me to it), but I only hope that it's as funny and subversive as it promises to be.
Wait — the critics said it was "The funniest most subversive film of the year"? F*CKING BLURBS!
If there are any new trailers you’d like to bring to our attention, drop us a line at [email protected]. Also, If I missed any trailers from this week, be sure to let me know in the comments what an idiot I am.