Look, we all know women want just one thing out of a man–blood.
That’s right, children, hickeys are nothing but vampiric portals burrowed through your flesh to excavate your very life force. Be careful. Watch what you drink around the ladies. If you don’t stay alert and on your guard, you’ll end up as nothing but a stiff.
Jokes aside, we have a trailer for a movie called Girls Just Wanna Have Blood. Would I still be writing about this movie if it not for the title? Unlikely.
This trailer at just a minute long leaves me with a couple questions: Does this movie take place almost entirely in a single bedroom? And, more importantly, why does the guy who has to hunt the vampire ladies sound like a bargain basement Count Dracula? One would figure he should be the Van Helsing type, and yet he’s giving off total vampire vibes. Is that supposed to be the twist, that he turns out to also be a vampire in the end? If so, be sure to note that I called it.
From the director of what I think was one of the better Hi-Death segments and Sodomaniac, Anthony Catanese, Girls Just Wanna Have Blood follows a social outcast named Jessica who teams up with a trio of teenage vampires and falls into a nocturnal world of murder, drugs, and all-night parties. Meanwhile, our strangely-accented Van Helsing pursues them with the hope of putting a stake through their plan to party forever.
Girls Just Wanna Have Blood will suck DVD and VOD on May 26, 2020.