Robert Rodriguez is a man of two styles. On one hand, you have his crazy, balls-to-the-wall action that has delivered audiences such thrills like Machete and Alita Battle Angel. On the other hand, you have a family-friendly director who makes goofy kids movies like the Spy Kids franchise. One approach isn’t better than the other, but I still get whiplash whenever I see the man who gave us Sin City present movies like his next upcoming feature, We Can Be Heroes.
Now by that title, there’s nothing really of note with it on the surface. It sounds like a fun little family action film about superheroes. And you’d be right! It is a fun little family action film, but then you realize that this film is actually a backdoor sequel to The Adventure of Sharkboy & Lavagirl in 3-D, a movie that even after learning about its existence as a kid I thought was the dumbest thing ever. Unless proven otherwise, that is the single worst title for a movie I have ever heard of and the film itself is such a strange experience that I may just have to rewatch it to remind myself of just how bonkers and ludicrous it really is.
Why would anyone want to make a sequel to that film? Why? Just why? No seriously, tell me why? It didn’t make a lot of money at the box office. Critics mauled it. I can’t possibly imagine anyone being nostalgic for that film and if they are they should probably rewatch it or undergo a psychological evaluation because I never want to hear the words “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D is an underrated classic.” Just… WHY?
The film will be about Earth’s superheroes being captured by aliens, leaving their children to save the world. We Can Be Heroes will have Taylor Dooney reprise her role as… sigh… Lavagirl, but for those of you wondering if Taylor Lautner would be coming back as Sharkboy, I would like to direct you to a mental image of me tossing my head back in laughter at that thought, J. Jonah Jameson style. Look, this film is either gonna be a fun little romp for kids or a cacophony of chaos and I’m all in. BRING ON THE PAIN.
We Can Be Heroes will release on Netflix on January 1, 2021.