Trailers

Wrestlemassacre trailer is a backyard wrestling home movie but bloodier

0

Let me start by saying the tagline for this movie is You Can’t Tap Out When You’re DEAD! which makes any slights against Wrestlemassacre seem pretty small in comparison.

I love the idea of an intersection between the over-the-top theatrics of wrestling and the over-the-top theatrics of horror. It seems like a peanut butter-and-chocolate style pairing of two great trashy tastes that ought to taste great together, and yet a true champion to the wrestling-horror throne has not yet stepped into the ring.

Wrestlemaniac wasn’t terrible, but not exactly the hit we’d want to see either. I’m not exactly sure if Wrestlemassacre will fair much better, but I am at least glad the indie scene is still trying. I just hope that we don’t run out of wrestling puns before a worthy film wins the championship belt.

Wrestlemassacre does at least have some actual wrestlers in its corner, though both The Cuban Assassin and Tony Atlas are way too old to be flying off the top buckle. The plot will follow Randy, a groundskeeper who dreams of wrestling stardom. After some major embarrassment at the local wrestling school, Randy has a mental snap and is now out for bloody vengeance.

That sounds fine and all, but to make a cool wrestling horror all you need is a sound stage, a ring, and a bunch of wild pyscho characters in the vein of Death Race 2000. Have them battle it out to the bloody death in the ring and let all their melodramatic story lines and grudges play out before our eyes in a fit of gory spectacle, and you’re good to go. The idea basically writes itself. Call it Murdermania, and have Scott Adkins star. Yeah, now we’re talking.

We’ll find out if Wrestlemassacre will pin us under its murderous bulk or have us tapping out in the first ten minutes when it hits DVD and VOD on June 16, 2020.

Kyle Yadlosky
Kyle Yadlosky only cares about trash. The trippy, bizarre, DIY, and low-budget are his home. He sleeps in dumpsters and eats tinfoil. He also writes horror fiction sometimes.